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Thread: What is the acceptance level of your wife or SO

  1. #1
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    What is the acceptance level of your wife or SO

    When I first came out to my wife years ago I would have rated her an 8 on a 1-10 scale with 10 being the highest. Unfortunately it went down from there and I would now rate her a 2.
    Crissy

  2. #2
    Member MaryAnn1963's Avatar
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    Well, that is 2 more than I would have. Mine does not know(I think) & from hearing her talk about men being feminine & presenting themselves as women, I would have to say she would be a 0 or less!
    The Pink Fog is thick with this one....

  3. #3
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    When I first came out, I would say 7 or 8. That has been a few years back, I would say he has remained pretty much consistent on her level of acceptance, I would say an 8 or 9. The only thing she is balking at now is the amount of clothes I've purchased for Wendy since I told her, which has been a lot (more worried about the amount of $$$ I've spent on clothing when it could be used towards upkeep of the house).

  4. #4
    Member jessica33's Avatar
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    I came out to my wife while we were dating and she is supportive. The level of support from her is 9 .

  5. #5
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    My wife has come to accept or at least tolerate my dressing except for one thing: lipstick.

    She will come home from the gym or shopping and I will be decked out in a wig, earrings, necklace and bracelets, bra and forms, padded hips, a dress or skirt and blouse and women's shoes. She will give me a kiss and carry on the rest of the day just as she would if I were wearing jeans and a tee shirt, but if I am wearing lipstick, she makes a comment about it.

    I normally wear beard cover, lipstick and a bit of color on my cheeks. I haven't really gotten into eye makeup yet, mostly because of her reaction to the lipstick.

    She hasn't worn makeup for years and her mother never wore makeup. Perhaps that's the reason for her objection.

    And no going outside dressed or letting the neighbors find out. I'm OK with the neighbors thing. I've been trying to get her to go out in public with me as friends or sisters, but so far, no luck.
    Krisi

  6. #6
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    Crispy, how does one go from fully supportive to almost not at all? I feel for you. It can't be easy on you.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Suzanne, I am thinking you mean me. When I first came out to my wife she was very interested in this part of me. She gave me hand me downs, bought me my first Jockey No Panty Line Promise bikinis in a leopard print. She also painted my toes all the time and bought me a gift card for my first pedicure. We used to wear matching panties and really could not keep our hands off each other.
    I never pushed to hard for anything but all of a sudden it, acceptance, was pretty much gone. When I asked her she did not want to talk and said she thought it was just a phase I was going through.
    Crissy

  8. #8
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    She’s my second biggest fan after my drag mother, so pretty high.

  9. #9
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    I?d have to say fluctuating. When I first told her/made my big reveal, she was 11/10, internally that dropped to about a 3 before she told me she wasn?t into it which made things tough, I thought I was rolling with a full stamp of approval, and I was wrong. Awkwardness ensued and I became unable to talk about it with her(just couldn?t make the words come out of my mouth). Eventually, we found pathways, but every time I felt like it was hurting her I shut down again. It took a lot of uncomfortable times for me to truly understand that she was in it for the long run no matter what it look like. As we forge new ground, the number dips and recovers. I would say we hang steady in the 6-8/10 range for the most part.

  10. #10
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    When I came out to my wife as a crossdresser, she was probably an 8 but over time she dropped to 4 or 5.

    When I finally came out to her as Transgender she became a 10 and is fully accepting and supporting.

  11. #11
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    When we were young when we married. My desire or hatred of wearing women's clothing was in the distant past. I thought I had been "cured" or "out grown" any desire. It was years in the past. As a wedding gift I had bought my wife a lovely white peignoir. I knew nothing about women's sizes. It was a little to big for her petite frame, but she wore in anyway. One night I decided to try it on. I was sipping a glass of water in the kitchen when she walked in on me. She asked why I was wearing it. I told her the truth. I liked the feel of it, being nylon. Nylon full slips had been the article of clothing that had enticed me to wear my mother's clothing years prior. My wife and I spent many Saturdays in mid town Manhattan which usually meant buying her negligees. Eventually we bought together several negligees for me; a pink peignoir and a black floor length gown. She gave me a red peignoir one of our friends gave her which she did not like. I ended up not liking it too as it was not soft. On occasion she did buy me black hosiery and a garter belt. There was a mutual benefit for both of us. When our first child was born the crib was at the foot of the bed in our one bedroom apartment. As our son got older she asked me not to wear any of the negligees too often. It had not been an every day occurrence. She was not adverse to me wearing them.

    We ended up moving across country. Our second child was born five years after the first. Our toddler was about three when she yanked a Vanity Fair vivid red bra out of a box in the bottom draw of my armoire. That box was not huge. It held my small collection of slips. She could not understand why a man would want to wear a bra when he "had nothing to pack into it." She got totally turned off by the direction this was going. I did not try to get her to engage in my kindling desires. However, I had expressed too much a wish she would buy me something feminine. I vividly remember going together to our local Mervyn's and buying panties for me. It was torture for her. She was trembling. I decided right then my attempts to get her to accept that part of me was nothing but mental abuse. I did not bring the subject up again. That was in the mid 1980's. She has not said "boo" since then. On occasion she has found an article of clothing I failed to put away; a panty or a bra. All she said on those occasions was she found it and put it on top of the dryer behind closed door. Once she found I had left the browser open to this site. All she said was I should be more careful in case someone visited unexpectedly.

    She knows. She accepts the premise that this has nothing to do with her. No inadequacies on her part leading me to indulge in feminine attire. How do I give this a rating? In the beginning the negligee wearing would be classified as a "fetish?" Acceptance, yes. On a scale of 1 to 10..maybe a 8 for what it seemed to be. Now, out of sight, out of mind I would rate it as a zero. I do not experience any of the verbal negativity or outright hostility others on this forum seem to endure. I would love it if I could be dolled up as June Cleaver and make dinner for her and get an approving pat on the butt. However, that is a fantasy that will not occur.

  12. #12
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Fairly high - can dress how I want but prefers I do not dress outside the house in our hometown - ok if we are on vacation

  13. #13
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    I told my wife when we started dating it was about a 3 she felt i was disrespecting women. Over time it she became more accepting, she is at a 10 now. We go out as girlfriends when we travel or go out of town to work.

  14. #14
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
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    Pretty much full acceptance, not that I push any boundaries. We?re I to dawn a female persona I?m sure she would be out.
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Lightbulb

    Dawn the respect/stereotype/political aspects come up with us a lot as well. When I first came out to her, before we were married, she was pretty accepting. Over the years it has gone all over the map. I'd rate her acceptance at about a 7 through the last few years. She has a lot of anxiety and control issues. If it was anyone other than her spouse, she'd be fine with it.

    Come to think of it, over the years you could say the same about me.
    Last edited by April Rose; 07-10-2020 at 11:38 AM. Reason: afterthought
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  16. #16
    Junior Member Jodi Yardley's Avatar
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    Zero...period....would never think of even raising the topic.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    My wife has a rating of 100%
    Angie

  18. #18
    New Member Sally Paradise's Avatar
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    My wife is very accepting of my crossdressing. It?s hard to put a percent on because my urges to dress aren?t overly frequent. But, during a normal, pre-COVID week, once or twice a week is great for me and she has no issues and enjoys being part of the process.

  19. #19
    Junior Member Carole/CCD's Avatar
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    Mine would be a -5
    Carole/CCD

  20. #20
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    From past experiences, and from general feedback on the subject, thru our 26 yrs of marriage, I decided to keep Candice from my wife.
    But, if you have been married for as long as I have, you know.... she knows a lot about me.
    After all, I am retired and working at home as the homemaker, cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry.
    Shes sees I collect antique vanity oil lamps, vintage kitchen aprons, and I have Barbies in the basement from the late 60's.
    She sees my 40 C cup and large areolas breasts for Pete's sake....and who is "Pete?" Why do we forsake him?
    She knows I like to moisturize, wear a coconut beachie perfume, paint my fingernails and keep them long.
    She knows I soak in Calgon Lavender bath oil beads, shower with Caress, wear silky and soft fabric clothes, and epulate my arms and legs.
    She has told me, some things I do, she doesn't want to know about.
    In keeping my Candy profile from her, it allows me freedom to go out in public shopping weekdays while she is at work, meeting friends when she goes out of town some weekend, and be as girly and feminine as possible, without permission.
    But I do know I am a husband first and I am fine with that. NEVER do I put my femininity in her face...on purpose.
    I lived as a girl during my bachelorette days so today I dress to reminisce about those youthful times, no longer wishing to transition.
    So, though she doesn't know everything...I have to say it's a 4 out of 10 as she has bought me gloss clear nail polish and borrowed my polish remover.
    She buys me Avon moisture cream and tolerates my excuses to epulate, moisturize, wear soft fabrics and smell pretty.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member missjoann49's Avatar
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    I can honestly say my late wife was very supportive until the day she passed. Before she passed see told me to be happy and follow my dream.
    After she passed I started my journey and am very happy with myself

  22. #22
    Member DianaPrince's Avatar
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    My wife fluctuates between an 8 and a 10.

  23. #23
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I told my wife before we walked the aisle. At that time, probably a 3 to 4. Within the next few years, she gradually rose to a 10. She is now totally supportive and enjoys my enjoyment.

  24. #24
    Long Isnad, NY BLACK STOCKINGS's Avatar
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    11+ she loves me dressed
    Just a girl fronm Long Island, NY .... always looking to meet others from my area.

  25. #25
    Member
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    My wife and I have been together since High School, and she has been my biggest supporter. 10+

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