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Thread: What is the acceptance level of your wife or SO

  1. #76
    Member Jessicajane's Avatar
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    Gosh this is sooo difficult to call....my wife hates the fact I want to be a woman but we have worked out a 50 / 50 split of time and when I present outwardly as female she just gets on with it...she does get me female thing occasionally but clearly would prefer not too...but the truth is we have a great relationship if I stick to my 50%
    So I guess a 5-6 maybe even a 6.5..lol

  2. #77
    Junior Member Petra_Briar's Avatar
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    Mine went from a very uneasy 7'ish to a 0 and now is a solid 8. It has been a journey, and I will not be with my wife as a women but that is okay. She gets that I am happy in our marriage, find her very attractive but I am a crossdresser and very much enjoy my feminine side. My wife has made it clear she does not find me sexually attractive in women's lingerie, but also understands why I enjoy those clothes. The things I have learned since coming out to my wife 20+ years ago is everyone's journey is different and if you want to stay married there are boundaries that are created jointly that need to be respected. The major thing that has changed in my relationship is my wife began to understand me more and I began to understand her more...and it is working, for now and who knows what tomorrow will bring but I will worry about it when it comes

  3. #78
    Member Cacique82's Avatar
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    My wife has been fully accepting so far so 9-10. I think she?d question wigs/makeup but I?ve already told her I?ve never had an interest in going that direction. When I told her ?this(CDing) is something I have to do? and ?it feels right? she became very supportive.

  4. #79
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    I find it very interesting that many have stated that they started at a mid level, then regressed to a lower level, and then possibly progressed to a higher level later.

    I think what is happening there is that the SO may not be too sure at onset, so provides a limited tacit approval. "Well it's just an exploration, it doesn't mean much, and will soon be gone"

    After seeing it NOT disappear, but rather build, they react with a counter view. "Oh no, that is not an acceptable manly expression. That is not what I want"

    Eventually, for some, it then turns to a realization that this is not an aggression toward them, and maybe it's not that bad, and that they still love this person.

    I would say that is my situation. Maybe a 2 to start, up to a three, back down to a 1 or less, back up to 3 and now at a 4. While I dream of a 10, I don't know if I'll get past 4. I'm hoping that I can get to a solid 7 one day.

    She did buy me earrings for Valentine's day, but they are definitely not overly feminine style. Well maybe the pearl studs are a little girly

  5. #80
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Happy for those of you who are still together. Me? Ex tried to understand, but turned mean when she decided that I was never 'the man she wanted'. Was then a clear zero, turning into a -10, even blackmailed me over it to take all our assets in the divorce; that was 22 years ago. Since then, all women I've dated, have been a zero. Current GF was over for movie night, she's a Patrick Swayze fan, so we watched Road house. I suggested Wong Fu next, and she said, 'You mean that one where he's a fag?'. Dead stop. Tried to explain about 'them', and she's having none of it. So looks like this has no long term possibilities, either.
    Still in the closet, now, and I don't see this changing any time soon.
    I know the odds are bleak, but I'm going to keep trying. Really no other option.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  6. #81
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    What I get a kick out of is the acceptance comes or goes selectably.

    I told this story before, but I was sitting with my wife, fully dressed, dress, heels, stockings and garter belt, bra, overly large 40H boobs and all, and she noticed I was wearing a cheap pearl necklace and went ballistic! I remember grabbing my boobs and saying to her, "I am wearing these, and a $3 necklace sets you off?" She calmed down, and realized how silly it sounded, and had the "talk" again.

  7. #82
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I am blessed that my wife is a 9-1/2.
    I say that because her only "restriction" is No hormones and No implants.
    I can live with that so I am free to be me whenever I desire, which is much of the time, and wear what I prefer.

    Of course it wasn't always that way. When she first discovered my secret she was a 1, willing to talk and listen, but not very open to the idea of her husband wishing to dress and present as a woman. Over time and many tears and talks she became a 3 and open to the idea of attending a support group. The people there helped her understand and now we are at 9-1/2.

    I feel so very lucky.

  8. #83
    Member Katherine L.'s Avatar
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    I would say my wife is about a 6 or 7, accepting and supportive to a large degree, but not really encouraging.
    Last edited by Katherine L.; 08-09-2020 at 06:54 PM.

  9. #84
    Junior Member DianaW's Avatar
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    It's hard to judge. My wife has made it clear she wishes I didn't have this need and she would be over the moon if it just suddenly went away. But she understands I have this need. I'm allowed to be dressed around her. But things like wigs and makeup are solidly off the table. For now, anyway. I would have to put her at an acceptance of 6-7.

  10. #85
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    My wife and I are at the DADT stage but, I would but it at 2.

  11. #86
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    Told my GF in January. She is doing well, I?d say a 7. Just got totally dressed for first time with a transformation package. She has seen the pictures. She thinks I picked a look that was too old, so if she is willing to give feedback that?s s good indicator of the future I think.

  12. #87
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    I am at an early stage, since I have only worn lingerie with her. But I feel very happy because that is the level were we both feel confortable. I feel the urge of dressing but I am not into make up and wigs.

  13. #88
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    Perhaps someone should take the time to develop a descriptive list for the 1-10. Perhaps it already exist somewhere on here. I?m so new to being out to my GF that I don?t think I have the expertise needed. It might be a good thing for the girls who are new to sharing with their SO. If for instance they were at stage three they could look at the stage four description as a goal or at least guidance, and so on and so fourth

  14. #89
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Roberta, Pretty simple, 10 would be your wife or SO is over the top with acceptance and encourages you to cross dress.
    A 5 would be a middle of the road attitude, no encouragement but is ok with things, maybe you can go out dressed or maybe not according to her mood.
    Now when we get down to the 1-2 area the wife or SO barely tolerates you with this cross dressing thing and you are on thin ice most of the time.
    We have had some members with a 0 or even a minus #, you can use your imagination for those.
    When you get to 10 posts and things open up for you on the forum feel free to pm me and I will try and explain more.
    Last edited by Crissy 107; 08-10-2020 at 07:48 PM.
    Crissy

  15. #90
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    My wife and I have started shopping together, for shoes and dresses. We did buy some high heels for both of us a few weeks ago, but no dresses, but we have looked while shopping. She told me she enjoys having a shopping buddy!

  16. #91
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    I would say on your scale of 1 to 10, she would score 50+ as she could not be more supportive. We've been together for well over 30 years and I told her way back then. Yes, I know how lucky I am.

  17. #92
    Heels addict Karine's Avatar
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    I would say 10. Actually, she's sometimes the one telling me not making a big deal about my crossdressing.
    I told my SO 1,5 years ago. The first time, I dress in front of her (makeup, wig, dress, jewelry, everything), it was a little bit weird, we were both a little bit uncomfortable.
    But I think seeing the whole process, reassure her as she saw all the work and the creativity involved.

    Now, she's fully comfortable. When I shopping online I ask for her advice on the future look I won't to try.
    She gives me advice on makeup. I have full access to her closets and she has to mine.
    Now, when I have some items she likes, I just give them to her since I only use them a few times a month. The other day, she was dressing with some new clothes she bought and I said to her "I have exactly the right bracelet matching the color of your top". I went to my closet and gave it to her. Now, this bracelet is in her closet and she regularly wears it .
    In fact, we're now both very happy when one borrows the other's items since it means that we like our respective styles.

    I think seeing that crossdressing is not my priority and do not jeopardize anything reassure her too. It's just something I do when I have some time to allow to myself when everything have been taking care of.
    Boys who dress as girls have more fun.

  18. #93
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    On a scale of 0-10 I would put my wife at about a 5. We have a mostly DADT relationship. She knows that I have a drawer full of lingerie so she doesn't ever open my dresser drawers. She sees my panties and nighties on the laundry basket in our closet but I wash them myself. I try to stay under the radar as much as I can but if she happens to see some of my clothes its not a big deal either. My crossdressing is pretty much limited to underdressing. She knows that. We see the occasional crossdresser out in public and comment on it but she knows that I am not interested in going to that extreme. Lately I have been pushing the limits on sleeping in my nighties. At the age of 67 I've kind of decided if not now, then when. So far she hasn't really said anything. She doesn't see me wearing them. I don't really want her to. Truth is, I look ridiculous and I would rather not be seen. I just enjoy sleeping in them, with matching panties of course. Its a delicate balance but we seem to manage it.

  19. #94
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    I wear my garter and Brassieres with breast forms in Bed with my Wife, so I think she is way beyond accepting me and lately she is watching Drag shows, so far so good, I sometimes wear my Brassiere and Breastformstore out shopping with her. Wisconsin Girl is just awesome. My roots are Indian from Guyana.
    Live Today as if it is your last day

  20. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria1 View Post
    Truth is, I look ridiculous and I would rather not be seen..
    I think the same thing about me In lingerie. I look better as a man than in lingerie. Oh well. I still like wearing lingerie and can understand why it doesn't do anything for my wife. I still get camis panties pantyhose and fishnets and thigh highs in bed and look sexy in those. Lol

  21. #96
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    I would say a 3 or a 4. She wouldn’t prefer it was not there...but understands that I need this and it is a part of who I am. I have had her buy makeup for me on a couple of occasions. I can tell that it annoys her, so I haven’t asked in awhile. A couple of years ago she helped me do some shopping when we were traveling. For me it was heaven. She helped pick out a top with a new bra and several pairs of panties. We actually went to two different stores at her suggestion. That at least gives me hope that it could happen again.

  22. #97
    Junior Member AmberLeigh's Avatar
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    Probably an 8-9. Her biggest hang up is the money on spend on it.

  23. #98
    Silver Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    UggH. My wife has wash my panties and put them in my draw. What level is that? We have a DSDS relationship.

    Therefore maybe a 2?....

  24. #99
    Member Nastasha's Avatar
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    On a scale of 1 to 10? 100 I told her about my dressing while we were dating and she had no problem with it - questions, but no problems. She is very supportive and encourages me to be me - always has.

  25. #100
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    If negative numbers were part of a survey, that's where my wife would be. She thinks the whole idea is creepy. And I'm very much in the closet.

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