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Thread: Public relations on a different side of the pond.

  1. #1
    Member JennyMay's Avatar
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    Public relations on a different side of the pond.

    I was interested to read the ?public relations? thread and almost put this as a response on there, but thought it might be better as a separate thread.

    I?ve never been out dressed but (once Covid allows) intend joining a local trans group which sometimes organises visits to places. My wife is very supportive of my dressing at home but is anxious about how other people would respond if I/we went out or my ?secret? became known,

    So my question s about what is it like being ?out? in the UK? How are people likely to respond? Are there places that are safer or more accepting?

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
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    Hi Jenny
    I am in a DADT situation and my wife doesn't really want to know but lets me dress when she is out, or in the house when she is focused on TV and she doesn't see me.
    When she was away for a few days I took a drive when dressed (in the dark) for about an hour - and I had a beard! It was OK, felt a bit on show but nobody noticed and I came home in one piece.
    You at least have a supportive wife so provided you are sensible I would go for it. Try a meeting with the group, maybe visit a shopping mall and mingle, and as others do, visit places to experience the situation. I wish you well and hope to follow a long soon.
    Vikky
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Adventure before dementia

  3. #3
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Jenny,

    I'm in the closet and get few opportunities to get out but when I do I follow the golden rules. Dress to blend, attire suitable for the time and place and your age. Killer heels in Tesco's will get noticed. There are those that say wear what you want and be dammed but I disagree.

    I hide in plain sight. A busy shopping street allows you the merge into the crowd. I've had a few stare but that's the worst I've experienced. If interacting with sales assistants, be pleasant, smile and engage.

    Same applies in situations where it's more direct. I've travelled by train and when the ticket collector came around I just acted normally. No issues, just another customer.

    I've been to the cinema, restaurants, Mcdonals all issue free. Pubs require common sense. LBGT friendly are good venues to start with.

    And trust your senses. If something feels wrong then it usually is so exit quietly

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Hi Jenny

    Like Helen I have been to most places, Hotels, Cinema, Theatre, Pubs, (good and bad) Museums, Art Galleries, Shopping.

    I have used Trains, Busses and the underground without incident. Sometimes you get real gentlemen who will hold doors open for you too.

    Generally no one bats an eyelid, Although it can be quite a surprise when a random woman starts a conversation with you in the toilets. (it does not happen very often)

    When you do get out try to relax and enjoy yourself
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member
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    I always dress to blend when I go out and have never ended up in any uncomfortable situations.
    I have broad shoulders, but careful choice of clothes and hip pads can de-emphasise them, so I can usually go about unnoticed (or at least people don't make it obvious that they've noticed).
    I used to get quite nervous, but then I realised that with my wig and makeup, even if someone worked out that I was a man, they wouldn't recognise me if they knew me. Add to that the fact that I drive to places where I don't know anyone.
    I think being recognised as me, rather than being recognised as a man, was my biggest fear, which I have now overcome.

  6. #6
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
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    Hi JennyMay,
    While i can not help (not having been out) i can not help but think that safe places are like Covid--theres "hot spots" around , you have got to locate them(wich you are trying to do) perhaps the group you have joined can help. The one that comes to mind around here is the Gay village in Manchester--bit far for you!
    Liz

  7. #7
    Member Gizmo, Debbie's Avatar
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    I’m in Fife, Scotland.
    I’ve been out and about for years (20ish if not more?) and never had any real problems. The occasional idiot that tries (and fails) to shout something derogatory, in a failed bid to show off or act brave in front of friends, but that is so infrequent it wouldn’t call it a problem.
    I say failed as it’s nothing new, I’ve heard it all before. Yawn.
    I’ve been doing volunteer work for 4 and a bit years and 99% of people get the pronouns right general manners right 100% of the time.
    It might help that I’m transgender and been on HRT for 7-8 years?

  8. #8
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Sometime you have to think like a woman. Would my wife or GF feel safe there?

    Other times you have to act like a woman. I've taught my daughter some important self defense moves and she has taken some Karate. She's old enough that she doesn't tell me much, but she's recently told me about two incidents where she was sexually accosted. In both cases, the boy received what he truly deserved, a swift kick in the balls hard enough to send them rolling on the floor in pain. If girls can do that when required, so can T girls.

    You can also seek out the bouncer in a bar. After all, that's their job.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  9. #9
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    Iam in the closet but the door is open. So if people find out so be it.
    On going out Do it. Its great fun How will people react Since I don't know you and haven't seen a picture I don't really know but my guess is you won't be noticed but it depends on you, size, what your wearing etc. If your 6'4" weigh 350 lbs and are wearing a mini skirt you'll get stares but if you wear something a woman that size would wear you'll still be noticed but you would be noticed as a man too being that big. Now if your 5'10" 200lbs dressed in nice slacks and blouse or a nice everyday type dress you won't be noticed. People generally are too wrapped up in themselves to notice or at least anything more than a quick glance.
    I go out fairly often, the mall, movies, strolls around town. I'm 5'10" 170 lbs I dress like other women for the environment. I seldom get noticed but it does happen and no one cares. I wish I could tell you why its good fun but it is Go out have fun and interact. most people don't care
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  10. #10
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    JennyMay,
    It does appear we have it easier in the UK than the US . On the subject of social groups you are more than welcome to join us ( please PM me if you would like more details ) .

    I separated just over two years ago and now live full time as I'm TG , so I did jump in at the deep end . I will say it's been wonderful , not a single problem , I never really consider my safety , I just live a normal life in every way . I shop , I go to the builders merchant , donate blood , use Specsavers for both glasses and hearing aids , nothing is off limits . Obviously Covid 19 has curtailed some social gatherings and I admit I'm missing my painting group .

    Is there a golden rule ? Maybe stop thinking about the male side of you , having to revert on the odd occasion becomes harder and harder , you have to beleive in yourself and be comfortable with it . Do I get nervous anymore ? Not really I feel more uncomfortable and out of place in male mode .
    Last edited by Teresa; 09-19-2020 at 02:21 PM.

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