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Thread: de stress

  1. #26
    Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    Jun 2018
    North Texas
    I can't imagine not underdressing. I think I'm more calm and relaxed. If only I could fully dress!

  2. #27
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Teresa, the exact process of how this destressing process works is still a bit of a mystery. And obviously very complex. In the parts of the brain that produce emotion, mainly the amygdala, stress may be seen as a threat and therefore a stress response is provided to prepare the body and the brain for defensive action. That increases certain hormones produced in the brain that increase the fight or flight response system and those hormones get much of the brain really excited and very active.

    But there is a counter process that is able to tune down all of that if, through more rational processes in the pre-frontal cortex, it is determined all the excitement is unwaranted. It can then cause the release of endorphins and other chemicals like serotonin that can counteract all the chaos the amygdala and other places are causing. But that response is evidence based and tied into our conscious perceptions which includes your sense of self and the clues to your identity that are received through the senses.

    In one way of looking at it, distracting the brain with something that is pleasant can cause a release of endorphins that flood the brain and calm things down, at least for awhile. Thus showing a different view of yourself, in combination with a mountain of coping and adaptive neural networks established to provide you with a sense of gender identification and sensations can distract the brain from trying to figure out all the stressors and make sense of it all. The endorphin release provides a calming effect similar to the effect of something like Valium but instead of a drug it is a natural response of the brain to "tranquilize" things a bit so the brain can get a break before going back to work figuring things out with a more stable process. Well, that is one way to look at it. But the kinds of reactions we have are similar to listening to calming music, reading poetry, eating an ice cream cone or anything that can divert the brain's attention to something simpler and more pleasant than the chaos that is producing so much stress. The brain can handle a huge number of calculations in finding solutions to problems, but everybody has their own limit (your "breaking point") where continuing to work on the problem becomes a bit dangerous. So, we all develop adaptive behaviors that can reduce the stress and those more or less automatically kick in and produce a break in the problem solving process to a more pleasant functioning that push the problems into the "reserve bank" to be dealt with after the brain takes a refreshing bath in a flood of feel good chemicals.
    Last edited by GretchenM; 07-20-2020 at 09:02 AM.

  3. #28
    Member Jemima Stephens's Avatar
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    Feb 2020
    Midlands, UK
    Yes! I have an imense feeling of calm and peace when I am dressed, as I step away from my day to day stresses.

    I have struggled during Covid with little opportunity plus the promise to my Wife not to (which i broke once but owned up)

    the work stress has been peaking lately along with some home stress and I almost reached breaking point on Sunday, I so wish I could escape to Jemima at the moment!

  4. #29
    Junior Member Cacique82's Avatar
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    Mar 2020
    Slipping into a nightgown absolutely relaxes me. A very good de-stresser.
    Last edited by Cacique82; 07-23-2020 at 05:07 AM.

  5. #30
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    May 2005
    It's very distressing ( voice to text error but it's funny so I left it- meant to say not very destressing) when I'm trying to finish my makeup and get out the door on time and something goes wrong. LOL had another one of those situations last night but in the end I made it out the door and had a great time.

  6. #31
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
    I do not believe in the term "stress" for things that occur to us in our daily lives. There are feelings like "concern" "fretting" "being anxious" "worried". When I get a chance to dress I feel happy and relaxed. Those other feelings tend to not be involved. Although I have been "concerned" or "worried" from time to time about being caught. But now since my wife and I openly discuss my dressing desires those feelings no longer occur.

    I believe the term "stress" is for those people who have occupations where they put their life at risk in situations where they have little to no real control of the events and situations they become involved in. Cops, firefighters, trauma responders, soldiers, and the like. I bet if they were also crossdressers they would likely find crossdressing is relaxing. This is just my opinion for the term "stress". I know everyone may not agree with my sentiments for "stress" but it has helped me keep life's events in proper perspective.

    Maybe if I were living through an earthquake, my home was on fire in the middle of the night, or I was caught in a tornado, flood, or hurricane I might become stressed, now that I think about it. But if that were the case the last thing I would be thinking of would be dressing.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  7. #32
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    I have to admit that it is for me as well.
    I find the only stress is deciding what to wear and I can handle that. Everything else seems insignificant.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  8. #33
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Oh, there is nothing better to de stress than dressing. When I get into my panties, corselette, nylon stockings, full slip, and pumps, I feel so content and happy. I am retired now, and I can dress freely at home whenever I want (which is almost all the time). Very little stress in my life now, But I still feel much better when dressed

  9. #34
    New Member
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    Mar 2020
    Crossdressing saved my sanity, such as it is, my business and most importantly my marriage.

  10. #35
    Member MaryAnn1963's Avatar
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    Feb 2020
    Mid West
    I have no idea why, but the process of doing my makeup, nails & wig then slipping on my nylons, panties, bra and a beautiful dress makes all my worries just wash away. It is the best way to de-stress I have ever known.
    The Pink Fog is thick with this one....

  11. #36
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Oct 2017
    AS most of you, crossdressing at home is the best destresser. Bra, breast forms, panties, top and skirt .
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.


  12. #37
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    We all read about the stress problems caused from being isolated. While it?s not fun, dressing keeps my stress level to a minimum. I dress daily. My daily routine is automatic and seems so natural...slip on my panties, bra, forms, shorts, or a skort, a top, wash face, apply moisturizer and some makeup, maybe necklace, earrings, comb hair, a flit of perfume, then breakfast. When things change, sadly, I?ll have to make some adjustments, but I?ll cross that bridge later.

  13. #38
    Junior Member
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    May 2020
    Bristol, UK
    I?m kind of at the opposite end of this insofar as it is not so much that dressing is a de-stresser, though it undoubtedly is, but the act in itself of trying to ignore what can be quite an insatiable urge to stress can itself be stressful and it?s only by giving myself permission to ?Heather up? that I can bring myself down to earth again.

  14. #39
    Junior Member
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    Apr 2020
    Absolutely and Covid lockdown (and people being in the house more) is giving less opportunities to de-stress at a time in my life where I need it even more. For another post but everything in my life at the moment seems to be taking a turn for the worse.

    I've had counselling and worked through that I need to CD and feel compelled to do so when stressed. It's a form of control when my life seems unmanageable.

    Unfortunately whilst I've come out to my wife about my CDing, I am extremely limited as to what she will reluctantly allow me to do. Every time I do anything I feel guilty.

  15. #40
    Aspiring Member
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    Jan 2010
    In lockdown, I am dressed almost full time and even in normal circumstances I spend all my sleeping hours in a nightdress and most of may waking hours in a dress with everything else apart from wig and make up. So I do not have the deprivations stress that many of you do. In addition I have music and the outdoors to keep me calm in a job that is quite pressured. It is not stressful because I have it under control, but my unlimited dressing contributes a lot to my relatively stressless life. The main stress I have with lockdown is seeing less of my friends though I have a trip all day dressed with a GG friend next week and I am looking forward to it not so much because it is a day in public in a dress (this time with wig and make up) as an opportunity to spend quality time with a quality friend. For those who cannot dress much and are stressed I suggest a walk on the beach or play a musical instrument. Endorphins are wonderful. No one who can access endorphins needs drugs.

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    No, it's not a stress related thing, it's an identity thing.

  17. #42
    @--}----- Sissy_Michelle's Avatar
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    Aug 2006
    Birmingham, Alabama

    I agree with you. Most times when I am fully dressed I am more relaxed. Usually I only wear bra, panties, and stockings under my male clothes. However, since the COVIDs I?ve been working from home since March. Kind of a blessing in disguise except when I forget what I?m wearing and wander outside for some fresh air. . .


  18. #43
    Member susanmichelle's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    Louisville, Ky area
    Very well put I agree with what you?ve posted and the way you said it. I don?t drink ever and don?t do drugs period except the ones that regulate blood pressure and the like. I guess the only bad habit I have is I cuss on occasion but mostly after talking to a gg friend as she cusses like a sailor and it rubs off on me for awhile after her normal two hour chats we have. Cross dressing allows me to totally unwind and go to a better place in my mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gillian Gigs View Post
    People need distractions to take them away from the things that weight them down. Some drink, some do drugs, and then some of us step into an alternate world in which we crossdress. I know someone who is a part of a local theatre group. They love to have the opportunity to be someone else and play a role that they wouldn't normally get to play, or portray in this life. This kind of sounds like some CD'ers on this site.

  19. #44
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    East Yorkshire UK
    Hello Christina,
    At one time I was being bullied at work - my crossdressing certainly increased then.
    stay healthy,
    luv J

  20. #45
    Senior Member Robin777's Avatar
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    Jun 2013
    Central Ohio
    I have in the past. Then it turned into just being me.

  21. #46
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Dec 2015
    Out of all the things I due, I find it to be the most enjoyable!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  22. #47
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Quote Originally Posted by GretchenM View Post
    Certainly. It is a great tool to de-stress and this effect is well documented in the scientific literature. It is viewed as either an escape from the bald reality of life during stressful times, but it is also, and more significantly, viewed as a connection with a different part of your identity than you usually utilize in such abundance. As others have said, it is part of connecting with the most significant part of your identity and leaving behind the piecemeal use of identity characteristics that is the norm during stressful times. In other words, your brain is using so much of itself at those times that conflicts between brain functions are weak or gone. In my view, if it works to help you get some relief from stress then, by all means, use it for that purpose because stress is damaging or even deadly. But keep in mind that it may be connecting with a deeper and more complete part of your sense of self, your identity, or who you are in a more complete picture of yourself. Either way, you win.
    Despite the many challenges that we often have to deal with as crossdressers...unaccepting wives or SO's, being forced to live in that purgatory known as "DADT", being stigmatized by a society that doesn't "get" us (can you blame them? - often neither do we ), the financial drain to our wallets for having to maintain 2 wardrobes, lives lived in the shadows often accompanied by a good deal of self-loathing, I, too, find it to be a great stress reliever when the chips are down and the "real world" becomes a nasty and hostile place. Yes, it may be a "gift" with some strings attached, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I am sure that if I were ever offered a pill that promised to "cure" me of my crossdressing desires once and for all, I most likely wouldn't take it.

    I've always maintained that as "vices" go, crossdressing is a pretty benign one. Not as hazardous to one's health as smoking, excessive drinking (read: "alcoholism"), or drug abuse are, nor is it fattening. On the contrary, many of us find that it motivates us to keep our weight under control (or even shed some of those excess pounds) so that we can squeeze into that gorgeous dress that we are dying to try on, but is still just a tad too small at the moment . Too bad that many of our wives or SO's cannot be persuaded to see our crossdressing in the same way...

  23. #48
    Silver Member franlee's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
    SE USA
    I do, for any kind of stress. I have learned to use it for therapeutic self-treatment with great success.
    It's worth something just being around to Fuss!

  24. #49
    Member leannejacobs's Avatar
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    Nov 2014
    I?ve used dressing to de-stress for years, however I?m not stressed these days so haven?t dressed in a while. I so miss it! I think I?m going to dress fully just for the sake of it. My wife could always tell when I?d dressed as she could see that I was more relaxed so it does work.

  25. #50
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I have to agree with Gretchen's (#27) analysis. There are many processes to destressing. Cross dressing is one of them. Cross dressing itself can be stressful if one is barred from cross dressing. When I was new to this "stress" game (work and war) it became very stressful to find the time to destress. To me it was akin to a dog chasing its tail. I usually named it on this site; "catching crumbs of time. That usually meant waiting for Sunday morning while my wife took the kids to Sunday school. Then I had maybe two hours to engage in cross dressing. Needless to say my needs were not satisfied. Other thoughts were stress inducing; war related PTSD. I think part of the problem with stress is finding some activity to divert attention from the stress inducing factors. I find it a little unsettling that society views stopping off at a bar after work and having one too many as a more acceptable method to destress than slipping into some fem attire. Even smoking a joint rates higher than wearing a woman's nightgown or snuggling PJ's.

    I have been through ten years of counseling learning how to deal with war related stress. It has been helpful with dealing with other situations that arise in life. How do I know? I was not one of those people searching endlessly for stacks and stacks of toilet paper or hand sanitizer.

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