Originally Posted by
DTelia
If I could offer a testimonial of sorts and a boost of confidence to those that want to grow your hair, but fear the negative feedback and stares. Overall, my opinion is that if you have healthy hair, do whatever you?d like with it. And even if it?s thinning or not as thick and healthy, you should still do what you want with it.
I?ve been blessed with a full-head of hair, and I don?t take it for granted. I have gone home crying before after haircuts, and my wife knows how emotional I?ve been about it.
Finally, due to the pandemic, I said ?screw it, I?m doing this.? And guess what...?people don?t care.? Some people make a few comments, especially older men in their 50?s-70?s, I?m not sure why...but think they were heavily influenced by negative aspects of the hippie culture and/or view it as feminine (not in the good way) or not professional. One guy came up to me and said...?When are you cutting your hair?? I honestly didn?t know what to say, so I just told him the truth...?I don?t know. I?ve never had hair longer than my collar, and want to try something new.? I haven?t had a comment from him since and his wife told me to ?go for it.? A few neighbors have given me a look or two, and I smile back, as if everything?s normal.
I used to be so paranoid that someone may ?catch on? to my secret, that having a hair-band, or Bobby-pin (to hold it back on top) may expose my plan...but the only one who has really cared about this is ME. I was worried about my family..especially my father...but he just looked at my mom and said, ?what do you think of DT?s hair?? And she responded with, ?I really like it. It?s different.? My sister who was critical of such things when I was younger said...?if you got it, do it...it?s an asset for you as an older man (I?m in my upper 40?s).
My kids just look at me and smile. The boys have conservative cuts....they don?t really care much...my daughter is the only one that made a comment like ?you look like a girl?, and my boys took it out on her, which was quite funny.
I wear it in male mode 99% of the time, but my wife pulled it forward while we were talking and said, ?Wow, you have a bob!? Ironically, it kind of turned her on. Why?
1. It?s different
2. It?s kinda rebellious
3. She likes that it turns me on...makes me happy
4. She?s proud of me for taking my insecurities head on.
As much as I like it, I?m not stupid and realize I may need to cut it. BUT the plan is to go as long as I can, while maintaining a fairly masculine conservative look. But at some point, accessories and tying up or back, will be required...but I think by the time this happens, it won?t be a big deal to anyone, because they?ll be use to the longer look by then.
Here?s the deal, what matters, is how you treat people. I?m not changing that. And as long as I?m true to who I am, and kind to others, who the hell cares what I do w/my hair. If I do ever cut it, it won?t be much shorter than it is now, which means that during that 1% when I do want to dress it up, I can.
But I plan to provide updates as I go. Right now, I can get two tight small pony/pig tails behind my ears. I?m guessing that in 1.5 - 2 months, most of my hair will go into a ponytail mid way up and that by January I?ll have it all in a pony...if that happens...nirvana.
The only regret I have is not doing this 20 years ago...but in a lot of ways, I don?t regret it. I?ve had a great life, I love my family...I love who I am....and this is just an extension of it.
Wish me luck!!! I gotta get there.
One side story, the girl that does my wife?s nails has told her...don?t let him cut his hair...and every month, she wants an update...?make sure he gets his pony tail!? She doesn?t even know what I want a pony tail...but even if she did...I?m good w/it. The insecurities are breaking down and that?s great.
good luck to all of you hair lovers too. I do have a pretty awesome wig...there are photos of me w/it and the styles I?ve done. My real hair will look the same...but thicker :-)