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Thread: Long natural hair or wig?

  1. #26
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    Due to male pattern baldness it is a wig for me. My natural hair is grey now, so a grey wig works nicely. It is also necessary to complete "my look;" how I would appear as a woman of my age. Having read many of the comments it seems wigs erase any vestiges of male existence. I don't understand some of the comments about male vs female hairlines. Lately, I have seen many women on television with very high hairlines. It's as if those women have accepted a high hairline and do not style it so their hair comes down further on their foreheads. I figure they are accepting themselves.

  2. #27
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    I had big plans to purchase a wig but the Covid-19 madness and my age have kept me from getting a haircut. I was already shaggy but too busy to get a haircut when they first locked things down back in March so it's getting pretty long. My hair is thin on top but from straight on I still look like I have a pretty full head of hair. I'm not going out in public, that might have happened during a normal year as I was moving in that direction but it feels now like I took two pre-covid steps forward and ten backwards since the virus hit. All of that coincided with starting therapy to sort things out and now realize that is a slow process as well.

    Anyways, I'll never pass 100% no matter what I do with my hair so there is no rush to get it right. After all, I'm messy and disheveled as a man so it follows that I'd be the same en femme.

  3. #28
    New Member Gia's Avatar
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    Thanks to everybody for your answers. I am planning to buy a wig soon and see how it will go 🙂

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    If you can grow your natural hair out long enough for a female hairstyle and that long hair won't be a problem in your male life, I say go for it.
    If I could offer a testimonial of sorts and a boost of confidence to those that want to grow your hair, but fear the negative feedback and stares. Overall, my opinion is that if you have healthy hair, do whatever you?d like with it. And even if it?s thinning or not as thick and healthy, you should still do what you want with it.

    I?ve been blessed with a full-head of hair, and I don?t take it for granted. I have gone home crying before after haircuts, and my wife knows how emotional I?ve been about it.

    Finally, due to the pandemic, I said ?screw it, I?m doing this.? And guess what...?people don?t care.? Some people make a few comments, especially older men in their 50?s-70?s, I?m not sure why...but think they were heavily influenced by negative aspects of the hippie culture and/or view it as feminine (not in the good way) or not professional. One guy came up to me and said...?When are you cutting your hair?? I honestly didn?t know what to say, so I just told him the truth...?I don?t know. I?ve never had hair longer than my collar, and want to try something new.? I haven?t had a comment from him since and his wife told me to ?go for it.? A few neighbors have given me a look or two, and I smile back, as if everything?s normal.

    I used to be so paranoid that someone may ?catch on? to my secret, that having a hair-band, or Bobby-pin (to hold it back on top) may expose my plan...but the only one who has really cared about this is ME. I was worried about my family..especially my father...but he just looked at my mom and said, ?what do you think of DT?s hair?? And she responded with, ?I really like it. It?s different.? My sister who was critical of such things when I was younger said...?if you got it, do it...it?s an asset for you as an older man (I?m in my upper 40?s).

    My kids just look at me and smile. The boys have conservative cuts....they don?t really care much...my daughter is the only one that made a comment like ?you look like a girl?, and my boys took it out on her, which was quite funny.

    I wear it in male mode 99% of the time, but my wife pulled it forward while we were talking and said, ?Wow, you have a bob!? Ironically, it kind of turned her on. Why?

    1. It?s different
    2. It?s kinda rebellious
    3. She likes that it turns me on...makes me happy
    4. She?s proud of me for taking my insecurities head on.

    As much as I like it, I?m not stupid and realize I may need to cut it. BUT the plan is to go as long as I can, while maintaining a fairly masculine conservative look. But at some point, accessories and tying up or back, will be required...but I think by the time this happens, it won?t be a big deal to anyone, because they?ll be use to the longer look by then.

    Here?s the deal, what matters, is how you treat people. I?m not changing that. And as long as I?m true to who I am, and kind to others, who the hell cares what I do w/my hair. If I do ever cut it, it won?t be much shorter than it is now, which means that during that 1% when I do want to dress it up, I can.

    But I plan to provide updates as I go. Right now, I can get two tight small pony/pig tails behind my ears. I?m guessing that in 1.5 - 2 months, most of my hair will go into a ponytail mid way up and that by January I?ll have it all in a pony...if that happens...nirvana.

    The only regret I have is not doing this 20 years ago...but in a lot of ways, I don?t regret it. I?ve had a great life, I love my family...I love who I am....and this is just an extension of it.

    Wish me luck!!! I gotta get there.

    One side story, the girl that does my wife?s nails has told her...don?t let him cut his hair...and every month, she wants an update...?make sure he gets his pony tail!? She doesn?t even know what I want a pony tail...but even if she did...I?m good w/it. The insecurities are breaking down and that?s great.

    good luck to all of you hair lovers too. I do have a pretty awesome wig...there are photos of me w/it and the styles I?ve done. My real hair will look the same...but thicker :-)

  5. #30
    Member Molly Wells's Avatar
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    I have several wigs but have not worn any of them since I started letting my hair grow. It has been about a year and a half since I started letting it grow. At first I got "comments" from a lot of people that I know, including family. My wife is not a fan but has gotten accustomed to it. Today I wear it in a ponytail most days and occasionally just let it down. I will use hair clips around the house but usually put it in the ponytail when I leave.
    The other day my wife, daughter and I were talking about family traits and my wife said how my mother always had really nice hair and that I have hair like my mom's. First time she has said anything close to a compliment about it. LOL
    I do enjoy it most days but from time to time I think its too much trouble to mess with.
    I'm thinking I might get it braided like Willie Nelson soon.
    Some day I might cut it, but not today...
    Molly

  6. #31
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DTelia View Post
    If I could offer a testimonial of sorts and a boost of confidence to those that want to grow your hair, but fear the negative feedback and stares. Overall, my opinion is that if you have healthy hair, do whatever you?d like with it. And even if it?s thinning or not as thick and healthy, you should still do what you want with it.

    I?ve been blessed with a full-head of hair, and I don?t take it for granted. I have gone home crying before after haircuts, and my wife knows how emotional I?ve been about it.

    Finally, due to the pandemic, I said ?screw it, I?m doing this.? And guess what...?people don?t care.? Some people make a few comments, especially older men in their 50?s-70?s, I?m not sure why...but think they were heavily influenced by negative aspects of the hippie culture and/or view it as feminine (not in the good way) or not professional. One guy came up to me and said...?When are you cutting your hair?? I honestly didn?t know what to say, so I just told him the truth...?I don?t know. I?ve never had hair longer than my collar, and want to try something new.? I haven?t had a comment from him since and his wife told me to ?go for it.? A few neighbors have given me a look or two, and I smile back, as if everything?s normal.

    I used to be so paranoid that someone may ?catch on? to my secret, that having a hair-band, or Bobby-pin (to hold it back on top) may expose my plan...but the only one who has really cared about this is ME. I was worried about my family..especially my father...but he just looked at my mom and said, ?what do you think of DT?s hair?? And she responded with, ?I really like it. It?s different.? My sister who was critical of such things when I was younger said...?if you got it, do it...it?s an asset for you as an older man (I?m in my upper 40?s).

    My kids just look at me and smile. The boys have conservative cuts....they don?t really care much...my daughter is the only one that made a comment like ?you look like a girl?, and my boys took it out on her, which was quite funny.

    I wear it in male mode 99% of the time, but my wife pulled it forward while we were talking and said, ?Wow, you have a bob!? Ironically, it kind of turned her on. Why?

    1. It?s different
    2. It?s kinda rebellious
    3. She likes that it turns me on...makes me happy
    4. She?s proud of me for taking my insecurities head on.

    As much as I like it, I?m not stupid and realize I may need to cut it. BUT the plan is to go as long as I can, while maintaining a fairly masculine conservative look. But at some point, accessories and tying up or back, will be required...but I think by the time this happens, it won?t be a big deal to anyone, because they?ll be use to the longer look by then.

    Here?s the deal, what matters, is how you treat people. I?m not changing that. And as long as I?m true to who I am, and kind to others, who the hell cares what I do w/my hair. If I do ever cut it, it won?t be much shorter than it is now, which means that during that 1% when I do want to dress it up, I can.

    But I plan to provide updates as I go. Right now, I can get two tight small pony/pig tails behind my ears. I?m guessing that in 1.5 - 2 months, most of my hair will go into a ponytail mid way up and that by January I?ll have it all in a pony...if that happens...nirvana.

    The only regret I have is not doing this 20 years ago...but in a lot of ways, I don?t regret it. I?ve had a great life, I love my family...I love who I am....and this is just an extension of it.

    Wish me luck!!! I gotta get there.

    One side story, the girl that does my wife?s nails has told her...don?t let him cut his hair...and every month, she wants an update...?make sure he gets his pony tail!? She doesn?t even know what I want a pony tail...but even if she did...I?m good w/it. The insecurities are breaking down and that?s great.

    good luck to all of you hair lovers too. I do have a pretty awesome wig...there are photos of me w/it and the styles I?ve done. My real hair will look the same...but thicker :-)
    Well put!
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I find my long hair to be very easy to take care of. It dries very quickly. No more than an hour or two. It has a nice wave to it so I don't have to do much to make it look presentable.

    Marion

  8. #33
    Member Lea's Avatar
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    I would rather have my own hair but it left me decades ago. It is wigs only.

    I am envious of those that have their own hair. I would love to be able to not have to use a wig. Even with the air conditioning on they become hot. When I take it off you can feel the heat escape.

    I have told my wife that the wig is the most uncomfortable item I wear.

  9. #34
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    My "lock down" hair has never been this long. It's rather full for an old gal. I comb it straight back, and it looks full. But, I'm gonna have some fun with the hold-in-place curlers (with small grabbers) I just ordered, before it gets cut again. My last outing for a pedicure was the only time I didn't wear a wig, and I'll probably do it again. How about I wear the curlers and tie a scarf over everything?
    Last edited by Jenny22; 07-31-2020 at 01:21 PM.

  10. #35
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    I wear bobby pins in my hair, especially if I am not trying it back, to keep my hair out of my face. I actually had a female clerk mention it to me and ask me about it.. and said it was unusual because it wasn't "very manly". Geez...

  11. #36
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheryl T View Post
    I would LOVE to grow my own hair shoulder length, have it styled into a pretty, feminine hairdo. The reality is my genes said no. There is that male pattern baldness and receding hairline which would scream male to those that saw it.

    The flip side is with all my wigs I can change my look to suit my whims. Blonde, or brunette, short or long, left, right or center part. Today am I cute and perky, or mature and sultry. Wigs give us so much flexibility and for those that are not out to friends and family they help disguise us where our natural hair would be what everyone would know us as.

    For those that can do it, bless you and I'm so jealous.
    For those that can't, I feel your pain ... now where is my blonde pixie wig ...
    I didn't get into crossdressing seriously enough until I lost most of the hair on the top of my head. Going out and looking girly without a wigs was impossible.

    But, with my complexion, I look good in every color from dirty blonde to dark brown. Plus, I look particularly appealing in auburn or red. The only colors that don't look good on me are light blonde and dark black. I decided to get a bunch of inexpensive wigs in various lengths, styles and colors. I decide what I want to wear on a given night out just like I would pick out my dress. What color do I want to be tonight? Because I have a longish face, I don't wear any short or pixie styles. The shortest I have is a long bob and the longest is well down to the middle of my back.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  12. #37
    Member Brenda Freeman's Avatar
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    I started growing my hair out when I was getting close to retirement. It is long now and I think looks fine. I did keep my wig in case down the road I need it again. I have enjoyed having the longer hair great on windy days.

  13. #38
    Member Marianne S's Avatar
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    I'm afraid it has to be a wig for me. I'm going bald on top.

    Unfortunately my hair has never been right for a woman's head. I did try growing it out decades ago, and had it permed to look thicker. If only I had that deliciously long, thick "rock star" hair! I could have done wonders with it. But no, my hair has always been fine and thin, and never grew very long. Certainly not to my bra hooks, as susanmichelle mentioned. And a woman's hairline is different. I always admired those cute little sprigs of hair that grow down in front of a woman's ears. I wish I had those, but all I've got there is whiskers. So despite its inconveniences, I've had to fall back on a wig to look anywhere near feminine. Oh well!

  14. #39
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marianne S View Post
    And a woman's hairline is different. I always admired those cute little sprigs of hair that grow down in front of a woman's ears. I wish I had those, but all I've got there is whiskers.
    I have that. My salt and pepper hair has noticeably thinned in the past decade but the hairline is quite feminine.

    Marion

  15. #40
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    When I was young, I had long hair. Now that I'm old, it doesn't grow right to be styled in a female way. So it's wigs, now, for me.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  16. #41
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    I?m lucky enough to have long hair, about shoulder blade length, without much of a receding hairline. At 52 I am starting to show my gray a bit though. When I had shorter hair I wore wigs but they are so darned hot.

    Now I usually just style my own hair. I have played with coloring it, semi- permanent color. And I will also use clip in hair pieces for a quick or unique styling option, like a messy bun or an updo of some kind.

  17. #42
    New Member JIJI Xx's Avatar
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    No rules

    new member, first post, hope I've got the procedure right....

    some women have long hair, some short. some women have beautiful hair, some tatty. some women shave their head so they can wear all sorts of wigs, some shave just because. I've had a shaved head for donkeys' anyway, much much longer than I've been TV-ing. at first, when I discovered JIJI (or she discovered me) I wore a variety of wigs, but they came to strike me as a bit silly, so now I still have my shaved head, and wear turbans. as a friend put it: "oh, so you've gone from dizzy blonde to Simone de Beauvoir". LOL

    JIJI Xx

  18. #43
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    When I was in my teens long hair was somewhat acceptable maybe due to rock bands so I had hair down to my shoulders, great for cross-dressing.
    Now 40 years later I have 15 wigs which makes dressing more interesting!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  19. #44
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I keep my hair in male mode pretty short, therefore I have a lot of wigs.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  20. #45
    New Member Val_Blackbird's Avatar
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    My natural hair - if I could still grow a full head of it - would be pretty much an afro . . . . .

    So, I have a number of wigs, most of which are some form of brown, but there's a few different colors. Nothing too radical. The most out-there one is a long, wine-red wig that I think I've worn out one time. Purple isn't out-there, right? Eh. Anyhow, I prefer really long ones, despite being as short as I am, but so far they seem to work.

    I'm balding badly, but not really sure what I'd do if I wasn't.

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