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Thread: "That's too tight on you!"

  1. #1
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    "That's too tight on you!"

    My wife has helped me choose much of my wardrobe and a lot of my items are her hand-me-downs. She is often complimentary on my choices but there are quite a few things that I think fit me just right and she considers to be too tight. Is anyone else getting more negative comments about fit than style from an SO?

    By the way, I take her judgment into consideration but will tell her when I like something in spite of her tastes. But, then I try to accommodate her tastes most of the time.

  2. #2
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    It may be as easy as a difference of tastes. But she may be thinking critically about how it might be seen in public. Is it age appropriate? How would other women see your outfit if you were shopping while wearing it?

    I know my wife thinks I dress a little bit too formally and thinks I need more casual looks. So I have actually taken her advice there and I do enjoy wearing some more casual looks. Dressing casual I am more likely to sit outside on the deck when wearing something casual.

    She also tells me that no one wears stockings and garter belts either but I like them. Also, if no one wears them, there would be no business sense in making or selling them. So I think there is some give and take to both yours and her input.

  3. #3
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    Eh, my wife says some of my mens clothes are too tight

  4. #4
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    There could be many reasons why. She said some thing is too tight. Ranging from it really is, not age appropriate, jealously, it dosn't flatter you etc. Woman do that to eachother on a daily basis. Welcome to woman hood.

    A few weeks ago. When I saw my hairdresser. First time since I have came out to her. She literally give me the look. From head to toe. That all woman do. Shes never given me that look. When I was presenting as a man. She also asked about my recent pedicure. Which I didn't think she would have noticed.

    So they do notice every thing, and its just natural for woman to do it.

  5. #5
    Sunshine Gal AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Sometimes we do not see things right away. I have had clothes that I just loved and then when I wore them more recently I was much less enthused, noting that they did not suit me as well as initially thought. We shall assume your wife has your best interests at heart. Although I would ask: too tight for what?

  6. #6
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    If your wife says a garment is too tight, it is probably too tight.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  7. #7
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Bea,

    If a lot of your things are hand me downs then there's a real possibility that they are ill fitting and after all, your SO is more expert in female clothing having worn it all her life.

    I can remember back in my early days when I first started and wore my SO's cast offs. While I could get them on in truth they were a little on the snug side.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  8. #8
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    Thanks for the replies. The truth is that it's just a matter of a difference of tastes. I tend to see women in tighter clothes that show less than perfect figures and appreciate the boldness of their owning what they've got. My wife would always choose things that tended to hide the flaws. So, when I pick for myself, I definitely don't go for items that totally camouflage my physique. I was just wondering if there was anything more universal in my experience.

    Helen
    The hand-me-downs are actually some of the things that get more of her approval. They tend to be less fitted and more comfort driven.

    I've recently picked out a couple of jumpers that are fitted, but suit my taste just fine. Her first reaction was to break out laughing. I wasn't phased and she seems to be ok with my asserting my taste a little. We seem to be adapting well overall.
    Last edited by Bea_; 08-04-2020 at 06:31 PM.

  9. #9
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    I wish my wife would see me dressed. It would be perfect. I would take her criticism in stride. She could tell me anything, just see me.

    She is on me to cut my hair. I have fine hair and long fine hair does not look good on a man, her man. I told her today I will get it all cut off.

    I checked and all barbers in CA are closed down again. Fate!

  10. #10
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    There’s a difference between bold and tacky. Skintight is usually NOT The best way to show off your body to its best advantage. If it’s going to be tight, it needs to be tight in the right places.

    Also, if it’s so tight that the seams are pulling, it’s too tight period, regardless of taste.

  11. #11
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    Micki,
    I do agree that there is a 'too tight' point, but i don't consider things that feel comfortably snug to fit into that realm. As far as seeing women out in more fitted outfits, despite certain flaws, I prefer that to the common sight of women in loose t shirts and jeans that don't show the figure to any advantage at all. I tend to be generous in my judgment of other people's choices and give props for boldness, even if that boldness doesn't always meet my personal taste.

  12. #12
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    My wife and I share taste in clothes (and share clothes) but we also have our own styles and have things the other will not wear. But I believe we both value each others opinion and we manage to not hurt each others feelings when we say that doesn't work on you.

  13. #13
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    Roberta,
    you brought out a point I hadn't really considered. My wife has asked my opinion about the things she wears and I have stated many times, even before I started dressing a decade ago, "That's not something I'd choose for you but if it makes you feel confident, go for it". I've never dictated or even tried to influence her taste, other than telling her some of my favorite things. But, she's pretty much always dressed to please herself and I've appreciated and admired that about her. She also has always had a style that gets complimented by other women on a regular basis.

    My taste is fairly eclectic and wouldn't be appreciated by many, including here on the forum. But, I've learned to dress for me and my wife seems to be coming to a point of appreciating that fact. We'll see...


    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    I wish my wife would see me dressed. It would be perfect. I would take her criticism in stride. She could tell me anything, just see me.

    She is on me to cut my hair. I have fine hair and long fine hair does not look good on a man, her man. I told her today I will get it all cut off.

    I checked and all barbers in CA are closed down again. Fate!
    I can understand your viewpoint, but I can tell you that, while it would seem better, it wouldn't be perfect. Criticism is not an easy thing and having endured some very negative things in getting to the point we are at, I can assure it that it can be brutal.

    The one thing that I tend to emphasize to her when she says something negative is that "That's fine, but I still like it" about whatever she might take issue with. She seems to respect that I express myself in a respectful but assertive way. I actually feel and see myself as more "manly" by not being totally submissive when it comes to expressing my tastes. I try to maintain total respect for her opinion, but also respect my own. But still, creating a new norm, where you spend a fair amount of your time sitting around the house in a dress, is definitely a challenge.

    I was fortunate in that I started growing out my hair before the dressing urge ever came about. It was basically a rebellious throwback to my teens and twenties, back in the seventies and was more of a rocker/biker style. We had been through a recent crisis in our relationship and I didn't give her a choice. She actually liked it when I started wearing my pony tail down to my shoulder blades. I think we were both surprised by her response, but hey.

    My hair is baby fine and pretty much white at this time and doesn't look good except in a pony tail or a bun. But, I tend to feel like, in a regular man's haircut, I would pretty much disappear into the crowd and I like not being invisible.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    Well I love my leggings and wear them often. I'm not sure I would call my clothes tight; but they are form fitting. My profile picture shows a common outfit. When I wear dresses the same thing. My wife is obviously familiar with my tastes and sometimes she has mentioned the some potential outfits may be a bit over the top. When she tells me that I listen.

  15. #15
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Bea, the only negative comment I got from my wife was that a little back dress was too short for me to wear. She has mentioned fit, but I found it constructive, not negative.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  16. #16
    Senior Member Kay J's Avatar
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    Heisthebride tell your wife most all crossdressers do wear nylon stocking and there is a market for them more so for us! We love them and always will!

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Bea,
    Sometime it's hard to decide whether an item is a nice snug fit or it's just too darn small . I'm open minded about shrugs for that reason , I become too aware of something that fits neatly on a woman just doesn't suit a male frame . Of course we have the other scenario where the well known phrase is , " Oh my goodness have I really put that much weight on !! "

    I had an interesting experience recently when I went shopping with a GG friend . She persuaded me to buy a shift style dress , I feel it fits me like a sack and she thought it was really feminine , then she proceeded to pick out items from my wardrobe to prove the point , I have to say it was a learning curve and I had to admit she was right . ( If anyone says that's a nice sack you're wearing I'll put their lights out !! Only joking ! )

    One question it does pose , do we tend to wear tight items because we never experienced it in male mode ? Of course we know when a dress is too small when you struggle to pull the zip up and find it's impossible to pull it down .
    Last edited by Teresa; 08-05-2020 at 06:40 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  18. #18
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    If my wife tells me that something is too tight on me, it probably is too tight.

    She is the only person I have to look at my clothes and she has years of experience as a woman, knowing how to dress (and how not to dress).
    Krisi

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Bea,
    Sometime it's hard to decide whether an item is a nice snug fit or it's just too darn small . I'm open minded about shrugs for that reason , I become too aware of something that fits neatly on a woman just doesn't suit a male frame . Of course we have the other scenario where the well known phrase is , " Oh my goodness have I really put that much weight on !! "

    I had an interesting experience recently when I went shopping with a GG friend . She persuaded me to buy a shift style dress , I feel it fits me like a sack and she thought it was really feminine , then she proceeded to pick out items from my wardrobe to prove the point , I have to say it was a learning curve and I had to admit she was right . ( If anyone says that's a nice sack you're wearing I'll put their lights out !! Only joking ! )

    One question it does pose , do we tend to wear tight items because we never experienced it in male mode ? Of course we know when a dress is too small when you struggle to pull the zip up and find it's impossible to pull it down .
    I was a small guy in my 20's and tended to wear fitted clothes with my shirts tucked in. To this day, I tend to wear my relatively fitted shirts tucked in even though I'm not nearly as small as back in the 70's. Any weight that I've gained has been in my belly so I have a certain distinct shape. That's my reality. But, preferring more fitted clothes isn't just in girl mode for me. I've seen more than a few women who have a bit more belly than ideal who still get away with fitted items.

    I did go through a phase where I'd pick oversized tshirts (in male mode) in order to camouflage the gut, but looking back at photos, that look just made me look more dumpy. So, I'm trying to work on the physique and, since I only dress at home, choosing things that feel/look right to me while still trying to be considerate of her taste. I prefer the compliments she often gives for the outfits she does like to the less flattering input for the things she doesn't like, so I wear the more fitted stuff judiciously.
    Last edited by Bea_; 08-05-2020 at 07:35 AM.

  20. #20
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    "Thats too tight on you" isn't a negative type criticism. It sounds more like "That would fit better if it was a size larger". Your wife was trying to help you. Its all good, IMHO.

  21. #21
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Long ago, I opened that door and asked her to feel free to comment on what I?m wearing She will, knowing I won?t get my feelings hurt. I love pencil skirts and a couple have been too tight. She was right, but it was an observation not a criticism. I have to mention, we have a good sense of humor. She?s told me several times, she can?t understand how or why I love to wear underwires and hose. I just smile.

  22. #22
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    If my wife tells me something is too tight, too short, too whatever then she's probably right.
    I sometimes select items that I find attractive, but that don't look attractive on me. She once asked why I took so many pictures. I told her that it's easy to look in the mirror and say Wow I love how this looks, or OMG I look great in this. A picture makes me look at the image as someone else would, more objectively, not subjectively. I can critique myself more easily and truthfully. Now I do that more to the image in the mirror and she does it for me in person.
    That doesn't happen very often anymore. I've developed my style and now I receive more compliments than criticisms.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  23. #23
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Yes, pictures and videos let you see yourself as others see you. I take a lot of pictures and a few videos.
    Krisi

  24. #24
    Member ambigendrous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    I checked and all barbers in CA are closed down again. Fate!
    My son just got his hair cut yesterday at Jerry's Barber Shop in Campbell, Ca...
    Ambigendrous
    Wealth should not be measured by how much you have, but by how little you need - anon

  25. #25
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    My wife many times will comment on clothing worn by women when we are out. She also makes comments about the women on newscasts/weather forecasts. She feels the clothing is too tight if the material is pulled over the figure. That is different than form fitting clothing. Her issue is whether or not the woman has the assets in the right proportion to wear something. My wife is overweight and does not like it. It's a negative for her. So any woman accentuating folds of fat really is a turn off for her. I'd have to agree. Of course, there are women who intentionally want to show off their rolls of fat because there are men who appreciate that figure. Go for it!

    Anyway, if it is stretching the fabric out of shape, it is too tight. Me? I am not obsessed with an hourglass figure. I usually clock in at 42-38-40. I prefer to wear dresses that do not accentuate the waist; empire waists, sheaths, wraps.

    If your wife says it's too tight, it probably is too tight. One thing I have learned when looking in a mirror is the eye sees what the mind wants to see. Try taking a picture wearing the garment. That may show you it is too tight.

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