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Thread: I admire her courage .

  1. #1
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    I admire her courage .

    The story relates to the printed photo story books , my daughter uses them as gifts round the family at Xmas time or birthdays . She gave me one for Xmas two years ago , I told her I was very grateful as I now live alone but found it increasingly difficult to view pictures of me in male mode . The story moves on to a couple of weeks ago when I invited my mother for a meal at my home , on that occasion to respect her wishes I was in male mode . I'd forgotten to remove a picture my daughter had given me as a Xmas gift of me as Teresa with my granddaughter sitting on my knee . My mother kept glancing over to the sideboard and eventually asked who was the person in the picture , I apologised for not putting away but then she picked it up and asked was it me , I confirmed it was then she said , " Oh my goodness you look like me !" So I smiled and said , " It's not surprising , you are my mum !" She then added in all honesty she would have walked passed me in the street not realising .

    I mentioned this conversation to my daughter and thought no more of it until this week , as it was my mother's birthday . My daughter asked if I would be dropping in to see my mother to give her a card and her present because she also wanted to be there , because she had a present of a new photo album . It had pictures of me in it as Teresa when I spent Xmas day with my daughter and her family . However plans had to be altered as my sister and my wife wanted to take my mother out for a special treat but I wasn't invited so I dropped in earlier that morning to see her .

    The next day my daughter dropped in to give granny her gifts but also present were my wife and sister , my wife has seen me once before and my sister hasn't seen me at all . According to the phone call after from my daugher , the room went very quite when the book was handed round , my sister didn't say very much but my wife told my daughter she should have asked granny's permission before having the book printed , she then said what will happen when granny's friends look at the book , with that she left with her granddaughter who she had agreed to look after for the rest of the day .

    After two years I've moved on enough not for this to bother me but I had to admire my daughter's courage and her belief and acceptance of me , I really hope she doesn't suffer a terrible backlash from this . I agreed with my son in law , the book was a gift to my mother not my wife , they only went ahead with having the book printed after I told them of the incident with the picture on my sideboard .

    My daughter and I agreed my wife's big problem is still wanting to be in control , my daughter thinks she will never accept my situation but she must stop interferring in other people's lives over this acceptance issue . I did reflect that my wife tried counselling once and brushed it aside and yet my daughter and I have had counselling to deal partly with her .
    Last edited by Teresa; 08-08-2020 at 07:07 AM.

  2. #2
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    Teresa,
    Kudos to your daughter for her courage, caring and love. Perhaps her present will open a door for you, as your true self, to your mother.

    My ex-wife was similar to your wife for sure.

    Best wishes!

  3. #3
    Junior Member SidneytheScorpio's Avatar
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    Great story! Allot of courage indeed. 😊

  4. #4
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    teresa, A wonderful outcome and a lovely example of how accepting ones relatives can be
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  5. #5
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    You have a great daughter and a great mum

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'm old and get confused easily, Teresa. U mention a "photo album" and a "printed story book". R these one and the same?

    If so, is the book just photos or does in include dialog? How many copies did your daughter have printed?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
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    Sherry,
    Yes I do mean the same thing , sometimes with some fun text included . My daughter or son in law pick out pictures relevant to the recipient , so no two books will be the same normally only one copy will be printed .

    DMichelle,
    I usually go for a meal every other Sunday to my mother's home with my sister so I'm hoping it will open the door to finally do it as Teresa . At 92 I feel I must respect her wishes if she refuses but at least there is no more hiding what I look like .

    The picture shows what I was wearing in the photo book .

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    THREAD UPDATE

    I visited my mother again today to have lunch with her , I explained my daughters reason for having the photo book printed and she fully understood . She also admiitted that she didn't realise it was me in the pictures and neither did my sister , only my wife had a problem with it but in her words , " she'll have to get over it , you're not doing anyone any harm , only being honest with people , you can't be expected to hide something like this ".

    She's considering seeing me but needs a little more time , she really does amaze me for being so astute at 92 .
    Last edited by Teresa; 08-08-2020 at 12:48 PM.

  8. #8
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I hope that was one of the photos on the album, Teresa? U look stunning!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  9. #9
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    Your wife said those things?? Has she 'come around' to more acceptance of Teresa?

  10. #10
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    Sherry,
    Many thanks for your kind comment , no it wasn't one of the pictures but it was used in a newsletter with one of my social groups .

    I accept how I look now is probably as good as it gets , I'm very happy and most people are OK with my appearance .

    Jenny,
    She's trapped in her own opinion , I doubt she will lose face now and accept how I look . I do feel she has several problems to deal with .

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Hi Teresa

    Its nice to see your mother is trying to understand with a positive attitude.

    Given her age I can see why it cant be easy for her.

    Your daughter is obviously happy that you are being yourself.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

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