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Thread: A first for me

  1. #1
    Member Happilymarriedguy's Avatar
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    A first for me

    I know I don't post here very often, but I am here daily reading all the post from all of you.

    Next week I'm on vacation and I am going to do something I've never done before, unless I chicken out. I plan on going out fully dressed. I can not pass as a woman nor do I wear a wig.

    A bit of a back story of me and my neighborhood. I am an early riser and all of my neighbors stay up late. I work Monday through Saturday, and do our weekly shopping on Sunday morning before the wife wakes up. I know my neighbors wouldn't understand so I do most of my dressing inside. I do go out wearing things under my outerwear, panties all the time and when it is colder and I can wear a jacket I will wear more.

    My plan is getting up at my normal time and get fully dressed and then go outside while it is still dark out. Not sure exactly what I plan on doing but I do plan on going for a drive in our car, but be back to our house before our neighbors wake up.

    When I told my wife what I wanted to do, she asked me why. The only thing I could figure out is that we were talking about my dresses, plus the one she just ordered online for me and I made the comment why even bother it's not like I can go outside wearing them. Was this my subconscious telling me to just to do it?
    Last edited by Happilymarriedguy; 08-09-2020 at 02:59 PM.

  2. #2
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    Hi, HMG.. Buy a wig! It really enhances the feminine appearance. Drive in daylight, too, if you have tinted windows. If not, go to an auto supply store and buy 2 black, suction cupped shades for your 2 front, side windows, and drive daily, happily! No one will recognize you!

  3. #3
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Sounds like a nice plan and could possibly lead to many more fun outdoor trips.
    Crissy

  4. #4
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    ... go to an auto supply store and buy 2 black, suction cupped shades for your 2 front, side windows, and drive daily, happily!...
    That's illegal where I live. Provincial law requires drivers be able to make eye contact through side windows and the windshield.
    Cheers
    Giuseppina

  5. #5
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    I think you hit on something here. Being seen as a woman. Going out. I too do not pass. Shoulders are too large, I trim my eyebrows but never shaped them. This is not about me.

    Many here do go out. You know us, for the most part we are straight white middle aged men. So, why do we need to show ourselves (present) as a woman in public? I started doing it this year, first time ever.

    Is there someone out there that explain the need for us to do that? I know more of you CDers would present outside the home if you did not have fear or ridicule of some sort or by some one. I hear the reasons why in this forum.

    Is there a simple answer as to why we all really want to present?

    Natalie

  6. #6
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    This is wonderful! I found that going out into the world is most successful when you approach it in stages. For instance, your plan to go outside and then go for a drive in the car with no particular destination. That's a great first and second step. Keep in mind that the only time you should worry about being spotted in your car is when you are getting in or getting out. Your friends or neighbors who know your car would be the only one to notice. Everyone else is too absorbed in their own world to pay attention to your car for more than a second. That is, unless you drive a Lamborghini or a Bentley, 😂.

    Once you have been out a few times in the car, I would suggest driving to a gas station that isn't too close to home (again, for your peace of mind), and going inside to buy something silly like a pack of chewing gum.

    After you have done that a few times, you may be shocked to see how much easier going out becomes. Then you can escalate by going to a pharmacy or market to do some shopping. Again, find places that aren't close to your home so that you won't become consumed with the fear of bumping into someone who knows you.

    Ultimately, it's a process but the truth is that most people out there are too self centered to care or even notice. They live in a bubble. It's time for you to expand yours.

  7. #7
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    Your post asks an interesting and recurring question: what is the attraction to going outside of our homes, whether to be seen or not seen by others. I have certainly pondered this over the years. My sense is that we are social animals. We have an intrinsic craving to be accepted by others, but for much of our lives each of us has kept this part of ourselves hidden. Hiding ourselves is stressful. We naturally fear being inadvertently discovered and rejected, and at the same time wonder why what we do seem so unacceptable to others.

    Eventually, (like through participation in this forum) we come to realize that others like us can and do go out in public and experience indifference, tolerance and even some acceptance from others. And eventually, we feel drawn to step out the front door and experience life in a less restrained manner.

    I know that from my own experience, long ago now, I found that stepping out the front door and walking in the daylight to be a heady, exhilarating experience and I wanted more of the same. Maybe I enjoyed it too much, but thats another story.

  8. #8
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    Your post asks an interesting and recurring question: what is the attraction to going outside of our homes, whether to be seen or not seen by others. I have certainly pondered this over the years. My sense is that we are social animals. We have an intrinsic craving to be accepted by others, but for much of our lives each of us has kept this part of ourselves hidden. Hiding ourselves is stressful. We naturally fear being inadvertently discovered and rejected, and at the same time wonder why what we do seem so unacceptable to others.

    Eventually, (like through participation in this forum) we come to realize that others like us can and do go out in public and experience indifference, tolerance and even some acceptance from others. And eventually, we feel drawn to step out the front door and experience life in a less restrained manner.

    I know that from my own experience, long ago now, I found that stepping out the front door and walking in the daylight to be a heady, exhilarating experience and I wanted more of the same. Maybe I enjoyed it too much, but thats another story.
    Very good response. What do others think?

  9. #9
    Member JoanneNY's Avatar
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    I also had a first for me experience last week that made kimdl93's post resonate with me. After the storm went thru here I helped my elderly neighbor cut up and remove a large tree she had lost on her front lawn. My chain saw made quick work of it and I went home to clean up (no power, cold shower). I changed into my favorite outfit, bra and forms, V neck blouse and skirt and sat down with a cold drink. My neighbor knocks on my door with a gift for me, what to do? I said to myself, just go to the door and face the music. I did and she was totally accepting, even complemented on my outfit. Wow, you just never know when that watershed moment will occur.
    Joanne

  10. #10
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    ..........., go to an auto supply store and buy 2 black, suction cupped shades for your 2 front, side windows, and drive daily, happily! No one will recognize you!
    Not only illegal, but dangerous as well. Think about it.
    Krisi

  11. #11
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    I went out the other day, I live in a mobile home park and not ready to show my neighbors the true me, not just yet anyways.
    I dressed completely except for my breast forms, put them in a bag and took them
    then I put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to go from the house to the truck.
    Easy to take off and put forms in place

    I spent the day driving and seeing the sights. Did not get out of the truck.
    But that was one of the best drives I have had in a long, Most comfortable feeling like just me

    PS I dont wear wigs or do makeup either

    It was a great day. I will be doing again soon.
    And the neighbors will find out as well
    they are all older, and may form opinions.
    but who really cares
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  12. #12
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    You said you don't wear a wig, but we know nothing more about you. Do you wear a bra and breast forms? Hip and butt padding? Can you shave and conceal your beard with makeup?

    Most men cannot pass as women up close, but many of us can pass at a distance. Driving in your car, for example or walking down the sidewalk. Obviously, to do this, you have to do your best and that would include a wig, boobs and hips.

    Regardless of how you do it, your biggest risk of being recognized is leaving and entering your home. Even if you were 100% passable, neighbors will wonder why a strange woman is going in and out of your house, especially early in the morning.

    Bottom line is, it's your choice what you do but it could affect you and your wife. Think carefully before you do anything that you can't take back.

    BTW: As to "why" I go out in public, It's hard to say for sure, but my goal in dressing is to look like a normal woman (the daughter my mother never had) and if I can go out in public and "pass" as a woman, I'm meeting that goal.
    Last edited by Krisi; 08-10-2020 at 09:01 AM.
    Krisi

  13. #13
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi HMG, First you don't know how lucky you are to have such an accepting wife, I am in a DADT marriage. If you go driving bring a change of cloths, just in case. I have been where you are and in a lot of ways still am. As to your question, I understand what you are asking, but have given up on finding an answer. Have fun, and tell us about your outing!

  14. #14
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Where I live it is far enough out of the nearest major metro area that a drive down the road to a busier street that leads past some businesses along the highway is about two miles. I have parked in the attached garage when my wife was out of town and drove around that loop partially dressed wearing makeup, earrings and jewelry after dark.

    I don't dress in front of my wife so this happens sometimes when she is gone overnight. There isnt any purpose for doing it but it makes me feel like that part of me isn't on a lifetime quarantine when she can get out and see the world for a brief time.

    As far as hair and wife go that is a whole other issue. I won't get my hair cut until things are back to normal so I'm letting it grow until then. It's a touch thin on top but its not obvious from a distance as I look like I still have a full head of hair. I would prefer wearing my wig and had planned on upgrading to a nicer one but my hair is so long that I can't conceal it under a wig. There is probably a way to do that but this whole lockdown thing is having the effect of making this the year that wasn't as fast as dressing has gone so far.

  15. #15
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I'll just mention one more thing that has come up here: Driving or walking around after dark (or in the morning before it gets light. Remember that you're trying to imitate a woman. One thing women don't typically do is walk around by themselves in the dark. Or even drive around in the dark unless they have to. So if you're walking around a neighborhood or shopping center when it's dark, you will attract attention and that's probably mot
    what you want to do. You might attract the attention of someone who will harm you or you might attract the attention of the police who may think you're up to no good.

    Surprisingly, the safest place to walk around dressed as a woman is in a crowd in broad daylight. A mall or shopping center, downtown in a city, in a city park, etc. Dress like a normal woman (not like a hooker) and act like you belong there. Don't forget your purse.
    Last edited by Krisi; 08-14-2020 at 06:22 AM.
    Krisi

  16. #16
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    You said "she just ordered online for me and I made the comment why even bother it's not like I can go outside wearing them.."

    Wow! An accepting wife. Or so it seems. I am six foot tall and 200 pounds. My comfort level is evening or night drives which usually end up with a stroll in a totally safe residential neighborhood. My backyard is laid out so it is private and screened in an area where I can sit and have coffee while reading a book/newspaper. There is an element of danger involved with taking a drive en femme. Of course, there is always the possibility of an accident. Or coming and going observed by a neighbor. "Who was that woman driving your car?" That aside, you can go out without a wig and makeup and keep your dress tucked into your pants until you get in your car. Stay away from bring floral prints. A black dress would work perfectly if you pull up next to another car at a traffic signal. When I do go out I turn off the porch light. The distance from my door to the car door is about ten feet. I haven't had a problem yet. Where there is a will, there is a way!

    Krisi is right to some extent. I read on this site of walking around in the dead of night in a closed park. Yikes, that's asking for trouble. Right now we have daylight past 9 PM. In the late fall and winter it gets dark early. In my favorite neighborhood there is a lot of activity on the streets up to 9 PM. There are two all night grocery stores and many restaurants (pre COVID).
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 08-10-2020 at 11:16 AM.

  17. #17
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Surprisingly, the safest place to walk around dressed as a woman is in a crowd in broad daylight. A mall or shopping center, downtown in a city, in a city park, etc. Dress like a normal woman (not like a hooker) and act like you belong there. Don't forget your purse.
    Thanks for the advice but I prefer my area surrounded by cornfields over going to downtown Minneapolis. Anyone who pays attention to the news would understand why I would rather take my chances out here in the outer ring of our metro area. I'd be lost in a club or mall in a big city but that's just me as I'm not a city dweller.

  18. #18
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    Hi, Krisi.
    It could be dangerous, I guess, if they weren't positioned correctly. I've used them for years. They are screens that you can see through, but difficult to see in. Also, positioned at the rear window area you can safely use your outside mirrors. I use them every day, but at night (the law) they come off.

  19. #19
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    I believe that those car window laws date back to when window tinting first became popular. Many of older members likely recall putting tinting film on our windows back in the day. That led to those laws when the tint kept getting darker and led to accidents.

  20. #20
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Back to the question. Not safety of being hurt or getting caught. I believe that you can go out and nobody will give you a second look. Because Nobody really cares.
    All these issues are in your head or your wife's head. The embarrassment or the scandal.

    You got one shot here on this side of the dirt, don't blow it.

  21. #21
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by williewallie View Post
    I also had a first for me experience last week that made kimdl93's post resonate with me. After the storm went thru here I helped my elderly neighbor cut up and remove a large tree she had lost on her front lawn. My chain saw made quick work of it and I went home to clean up (no power, cold shower). I changed into my favorite outfit, bra and forms, V neck blouse and skirt and sat down with a cold drink. My neighbor knocks on my door with a gift for me, what to do? I said to myself, just go to the door and face the music. I did and she was totally accepting, even complemented on my outfit. Wow, you just never know when that watershed moment will occur.
    Joanne, I loved your post, it made me smile and it just showed me what I already knew, that you are a very good person.
    BTW, I think you need to change your bio, no more closet for you. Crissy
    Crissy

  22. #22
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    I think it?s natural that we want to express our feminine selves in every way possible. That just can?t be done in private and at home. There are to many things outside that we want to feel or do, feeling the way that we feel.

  23. #23
    Member Happilymarriedguy's Avatar
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    Well I didn't chicken out fully, but I did partially.
    The first time I went for a drive it was dark the entire time I was gone. I wasn't nervous at all and was relaxed the entire time. I was hoping to find a place in town that was well lit that I could stop and take a picture, but I never found one. I did manage to get the courage to step out my back door and take a quick picture. I chose to wear my newest dress that I bought.
    Outside 1.jpg

    Car 1.jpg

    There was another day I went out wearing a nice peach colored top with my bra and breast forms and I did that in broad daylight. True it was still early in the morning, but it was total daylight. True I wasn't wearing jewelry the second time and I know some people may have seen me but I really enjoyed the short drive I took

  24. #24
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    Back to the question. Not safety of being hurt or getting caught. I believe that you can go out and nobody will give you a second look. Because Nobody really cares.
    All these issues are in your head or your wife's head. The embarrassment or the scandal.

    You got one shot here on this side of the dirt, don't blow it.
    There's another current thread where the OP talks about nasty looks and laughing. The truth is, people do look and they do care. And many are mean and will go out of their way to make fun of you. Some people will even harm you for dressing like a woman. It's sad, but it is reality.

    And if people who know you (like your neighbors) see you dressed as a woman, many of them will think poorly of you (and your wife). The term "pervert" comes to mind. You may be shunned socially, your children may not be allowed to play with their children, etc.

    It's important to remember that real life, for most of us, is way different than this forum.
    Krisi

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