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Thread: starting a new relationship

  1. #1
    Senior Member Princess29's Avatar
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    starting a new relationship

    One of the few positives to come out of this awful year, for me at least, is that I have met a nice lady and we are heading down the path of a relationship.
    The last time I was in the position (which hasn't happened too often in my life), I told her about my crossdressing early on so she knew about that and conveyed how it was only a small part of who I am and although it didn't work out in the end anyway, crossdressing didn't play a part in that.
    This new lady is very observant and I have plucked eyebrows, shaved legs, both ears pierced and long finger nails from time to time and she can't have missed that.
    Although I haven't really dressed up much this year anyway, I will likely do it again and I don't want to hide this from her. I know what I have to do.....just tell her and it's best to do it early on so she knows as I don't like hiding it and I don't want to hide it, anyway.
    I just have to do it
    Last edited by Princess29; 08-18-2020 at 01:00 AM.

  2. #2
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I don’t know if it’s first date kind of material if it isn’t a daily part of your life, but you should definitely have the talk of things are looking like they might get serious. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Hope things go well when you tell her

  4. #4
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Tell her before you get too deeply involved when she could back off at the news. i hope it all works out well for you
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  5. #5
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    It's always best to tell while you can both safely back out without too much emotional cost. I wish you both all the best for the future.

  6. #6
    Banned Read only xam's Avatar
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    I agree what everyone said, tell her sooner before thing get too involved. Hope you have a good news to tell us next time.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
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    Yes, yes, and yes to everything you said except for one thing you said. It is not a small part of you or any of us. Be honest with yourself on that point. The difference among us is how far we are going with this, from simply enjoying dressing and feeling pretty at times to fully transitioning at some point in time. That is a very broad spectrum but that is the reality of our experiences. If you, like many of us, have found your happy place in that line, that is great and then you can be honest with your level of involvement and she can truly assess her desire to continue the relationship. If you truly have feminized your appearance as you said, trust me, she is a woman and those things could not have gone unnoticed. (Unless she is hoping she is not right about what she is seeing.) The point is that any lasting relationship has to be built on honesty. If she is on the verge of loving you she will appreciate that and that could bring you closer together. If you don't tell her before it could explode in your face. I told my wife 2 years before we married. She has never been accepting of that part of me but she still wanted to be a part of my life. We have been together 52 years and married 49 with 3 kids and 7 grandchildren so it can happen without ripping your guts out. Can be painful at times and will take work but when the girl is the right one it is all worth it.

  8. #8
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    Good luck with this. I think you are wise to get this out in the open right away.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  9. #9
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    The very best thing to do!
    You will know if you are compatible as this is a part of you.
    Best Wishes to you both.
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    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️


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  10. #10
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    You?ll never go wrong with honesty. I told my wife before we got married, thinking she?d run. She didn?t and is very supportive. She appreciated my courage and honesty. Please let us know how things turned out. Best.

  11. #11
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    As Micki says, it's not "first date" material. There's no rush, but if the relationship progresses to the point where there is any significant emotional investment, it's time to share.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  12. #12
    Member rian's Avatar
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    I would like to advise in case you want to tell her....be careful to pass your information in slow pace it might take a long time to pass the word in order to gain her approval ,,, do not put yourself in bad situation for your girlfriend to be sacred ...that how i did with my wife ....she has to swallow the information by pieces in order to understand you well....
    Cross-dressing is a cross between woman's soul and man's heart.....

  13. #13
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    Be sure you have the answers to all the common questions that come up (do you want to transition in the future, are you attracted to men, etc.)

    Then, once it's out sit back and don't mention it/force it on her. Let her digest it and ask questions when she's ready. In the meantime keep showing her how special she is to you.

    My two cents,

    Lisa

  14. #14
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Unhappy Do not tell her unless u have to!

    I am not out and do not present part way. No one can tell I'm a CD. I only tell people on a, "need to know", basis.

    Unless u plan on coming out to everyone. Or, present so partially female that she/people mite guess? What's the big hurry?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
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    You do need to tell her but here are some tips: Do not tell her in a gloom and doom manor, own it 100% and look her straight in the eyes when chatting and be 100% honest about what you like and need and answer any questions she might have. If she is hesitant or flat out says no way you can tell her that it looks like this will not go any further maybe you should give it a shot whats the worst that can happen?? I did this and ended up marrying the lady what she discovered was after seeing me in lingerie and making love guess what the world didn't come to an end the sun rose in the morning and I was the same old guy the next day. Hope this helps

  16. #16
    Senior Member Princess29's Avatar
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    we're still figuring things out in general anyway (dating is hard enough to navigate let alone during a global pandemic) and as I have mentioned previously, there is no way she has missed the signs like plucked eyebrows, shaved legs etc

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    I was at a point in my life when i met my current that after meeting her on an online app We and talking for a while i just told her the first day. At first she rejected it but we keep talking now over 4 years later we live together and she is cool with my girl side. In fact she steals some of my stuff . I am very lucky

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