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Thread: What would you do?

  1. #1
    I NEVER go bare-legged! Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    What would you do?

    Hey y'all.

    Given my recent experience with a Sheriff's Deputy while dressed, albeit a very brief one where he was directing traffic from an accident, that compelled me to ask this question. Now, this is for the CD'ers ONLY, like me, who mostly live life as a male, has all of their ID's as a male, etc.

    Anyway, assuming that all of us CD'ers do have all male ID's and the picture on our driver's license obviously differs from the way we look while dressed, if you ever come up on a DUI check-point, or you get pulled over while dressed, what would you do? What would you say? Me, I would probably talk to the officer in my feminine voice and just be honest and tell him or her that I'm a CD'er….. I would be very nervous, though! LOL
    Last edited by Kimberly A.; 08-27-2020 at 12:47 AM.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Be coupertive as possible...

  3. #3
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    Kimberly ,
    First thing is don't panic , they've seen it all before , you're not the first and certainly won't be the last .

    Second point is some members of the police force are also members of the LGBTQ community , so they are not going to weed you out as a special case , they could also risk losing their jobs if they don't work within the guidelines . Most of them really do have more important jobs to do .

  4. #4
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Be honest but dont use a feminine voice, be yourself, as for gender bias as Teresa rightly points out any officer that shows any bias or dislike bang out of order and in any case, they have seen everything, as I have! one new years eve i pulled over a car and Bugs Bunny in a carrot suit was driving with Donald Duck in the passenger seat!! yes they have seen it all so as I say be yourself, be honest.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  5. #5
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    First of all, my community police seem to be transgender aware.

    I did come very close to this situation a couple of times.

    Once, I was out with a group of girls and came up on a sobriety checkpoint, Fortunately, I had changed back into en homme, so I didn't have the ID problem. I was asked about my drinking that night. I told him (honestly) that I had had 1 drink ix hours earlier. I have firm policy on not drinking and dressing.

    If I was still dressed, I would have handed him my boy ID and shrugged my shoulders. If he asked me to walk a straight line, i would have said something like, "In heels? Can I change into regular shoes?" Actually, I have a medically documented balance problem and I couldn't pass walking heel to toe stone cold sober. I keep a doctor's letter in my glove compartment.

    Whatever you do, don't lie; that in itself will get you into trouble.

    And a little bit of legal advice from an amateur lawyer. If the officer asks if he can search your car, your response should be, "Do you have 'probable cause?'" You have a fifth amendment right against unreasonable search and seizure. I think he would have to state probable cause and what he was looking for.

    Long story short. My daughter got pulled over at a sobriety checkpoint. She failed the street sobriety test and she was arrested. BTW, she was taken before a magistrate and put in the drunk tank with other women. That gave the police probable cause to search her car. She had two empty bottles of wine in her cars as souvenirs. Empty bottles are prima facie evidence of drinking while driving. If she permitted a search of her car, the open, empty wine bottles could have been used as a cause for arrest.

    I cn't imagine getting arrested for DWI while dressed. Hence, my no drinking while dressing rule.

    Maybe some real lawyer can correct me.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I limit my drinking when i'm not dressed. When dressed my rule is no drinks at all. I think most police officers, as someone has said "have seen it all". But why take the chance. Just be calm, courteous, and provide whatever documentation they request. It's not against the law to dress so some embarrassment may be the only downside.

  7. #7
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    Well (drinking aside) this has been brought up may times and there's a few things to remember:
    1. Law enforcement is trained for this
    2. You are probably not the first CD/TG they have interacted with
    3. I have yet to see anyone that does not look like themselves but wearing makeup and maybe a wig when dressed. So your male ID is fine
    4. It's not against the law


    DON'T be that guy on the show Cop's that had a burned out tail light but would not pull over. By the time he stopped there was several cops chasing him. As they pulled him out of his truck it was a crossdresser and he kept saying "I just wanted to take my makeup off first". So instead of maybe getting a ticket for a burnt out tail light, he went to jail dressed.

    On the subject of mail ID I use my male ID and credit cards with my male name on them all the time when en-femme and never once has anyone questioned me.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 08-27-2020 at 06:10 PM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    I was stopped by a County Sheriff on my way to the beach. I was totally en femme, makeup, dress, hoes, heels, wig, earrings, press on nails, the works. I always fully open all windows, turn the motor off, turn on my hazard lights, took out my license (that was in my purse!), and patiently waited with my hands on the wheel. He came up to the window, looked at me did a quick double take, he was totally professional and told me I had expired tags. He took my license back to his car, he came back a couple of minutes later and said that he was only going to give me a verbal warning. I thanked him, and he left. I sat there with my hands still shaking while I closed the windows turned off my hazard lights and buckled up. I had visions of walking a straight line in heels. LOL

  9. #9
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Be and act the same way you would if you were dressed in male clothing.
    Don't try to be anything else. If you were speeding you'll probably get a ticket. If it's a DUI checkpoint then there should be no issue as I've never been asked for ID at one of those.
    The police have probably seen most everything and you won't be anything that will give them pause. Be polite and relax. They are just doing a job and not out to get you.

    I had a different situation a few years ago. I was traveling to a vacation home and was 40 miles from my home. My vehicle overheated and I was stopped on the interstate.
    I was dressed in a skirt and top with casual shoes as it was fall. After calling for a tow (and very nervous about that interaction to come) I waited in the vehicle.
    First a motorist stopped....are you ok Ma'am? Then a State Trooper stopped and came to the window. Again no issue, I'm fine thank you I'm waiting for my tow.
    Then a 20 something shows up driving the tow truck. I explain what happened, he asks me to get in the cab while he puts in on the flatbed. Then he drives me home and we have the usual small talk. All the while there are no snide remarks, no weird glances or anything, just professionalism. He dropped me off and I thanked him and gave him a nice tip.

    Just be you. Yes you have to be careful and not totally drop your guard, but with the police just be you.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  10. #10
    Carpe Diem Jackiefl's Avatar
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    I have been stopped while dressed and fortunately have not had any problems. Now I am retired and the last time I renewed my licence I went dressed and had my picture changed, not a problem at all the people at the DMV were great. Now if I get stopped everything matches. The police I have interacted with have always been fine, I have never acted any differently than I would if I was not dressed.

  11. #11
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I don't dress, drink, and drive. So, I wouldn't be concerned.

    By the way, what other option would u have besides confess it's u in a dress?

    Tell him u left your license in your other purse?
    Good luck with THAT!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member KymG's Avatar
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    Ive always worried about being pulled over.
    Until now.
    Im wearing clothes, that traditionally are made for women, yes.
    Im in my own car, Mot, tax, insurance etc., registered to a man, me, which i still am. All my id shows male me...
    If it happens, it happens. Ill even get out in heels.
    I suspect dealing with the police when dressed should be completely routine, and its possibly easier here in England, as i think they would have to be more carefull than if we were in male mode.
    Either way, i would always co operate fully whether im in boots or heels.

  13. #13
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Cheryl

    I was driving home from Keystone Conference fully dressed. I had gone to an LGBT-friendly church with some friends from the Keystone Conference, so you can imagine how I was dressed. I stopped and parked for half an hour or so and drained my battery. I called AAA for a jump. I had some male clothes there and some casual girl clothes (jeans) so I could have changed. I decided to stay girly.

    The guy with a tow truck was very professional. I had my hood up, he jumped me and started my car and left.

    The only downside was that I had planned a little shopping a few exits down. I decided not to stop to make sure that my battery was sufficiently charged,
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    You hand over your ID and if the officer gives you a hard time, you call a lawyer. There is no law stating that your appearance has to match what it says on your ID.

  15. #15
    Member RachelB.'s Avatar
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    I have been pulled over twice. Once because of a burned out brake light. The officer was courteous and checked my license, registration and insurance. He gave me a warning and told me to be careful Ma'am. I got pulled over for not wearing my seat belt. I was wearing it and again the officer was courteous, asked about the seat belt and I pointed out the belt being properly worn but blending well with my sweater. He checked all the documents and apologized for missing the belt being worn.

    The secret was I was respectful and courteous. I provided all information asked for, was honest, and didn't act like I had something to hide. While it scared the crap out of me it helped my confidence greatly. One of the stops was in Mississippi and the other in Alabama. One was a county deputy and the other a state trooper. Like others have said"They have seen it all."

  16. #16
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Well, you use the opportunity to talk yourself out of whatever you’ve done wrong, of course!
    I partly jest, but every woman I know has managed to bat her eyelashes or cry her way out of a speeding ticket, now it’s my turn!

  17. #17
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Angela, you’ll probably be safe in Canada. I would NOT recommend any sisters in the United States try this unless you live in California, Illinois, Rhode Island, Nevada, Connecticut,Maine, Hawaii, New York, New Jersey, Washington, or Colorado. In any other state, “unwanted attention” from an LGBTQ person is justification for murder under the “gay” or “LGBTQ Panic defense”. How messed up is that? If you make a pass at someone and they don’t like it, they can literally kill you and say they were in fear of their safety because of your gender/orientation, or say that your advances caused a state of “temporary insanity”.

    Please be careful out there ladies.

  18. #18
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Although I was being light hearted, things are quite different up here, I’ll give you that. A few years ago during pride weekend I walked past a bunch of city cops and one of them remarked “nice a$$!”

    As for the original topic, I have been through sobriety checkpoints as have my friends. Absolutely zero issues, they only care if you’ve been drinking.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Kimberly, When I go out dressed, it is usually to a restaurant or bar, and therefore don't drive but take an Uber. So the license is not rally an issue for me.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  20. #20
    Member Cassiek's Avatar
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    Just be yourself. One thing that bothers cops is being lied to. The lie will lead the cop to believe you are hiding something. As mentioned before an overwhelming majority of cops treat everyone with dignity and respect. Yes even those of us that enjoy expressing our feminine selves. I know this from experience after all I am one of those cops.

  21. #21
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    I would comply with any and all police orders. My POV, they are looking for infractions, like drunk driving, up to date insurance papers, speeding, breaking traffic laws, ... last time I looked, CDing is not an infraction nor is it against the law. Yes, it would be awkward but unless you are breaking the law or being non conpliant, they have no reason to haul you out of your vehicle.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Fran Moore's Avatar
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    Years ago I was attending a Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta and made friends with a gal from Florida. Turns out she was a state trooper. Not only have they seen it all....... As to drinking and driving, plan ahead no matter how you are presenting, and if the consumption of alcohol or other substances are going to be part of your evening (or day)it's always best to leave your car keys at home and use an alternative means of transportation or go with a designated driver~
    Transtronaut


    You must first find yourself before you can discover your future-

  23. #23
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    I live in a large metropolitan area. None of this seems to matter. I don't think anyone even questioned the miss match.

  24. #24
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    I've never been pulled over en femme. I have en homme for a brake light. I would only add it is advisable to know your state laws or the state through which you may be traveling. In some states you can be detained in jail for an offense, even administrative, that would only be a civil citation in another. It is best to have current insurance and tags/licenses. Years ago my niece was driving through a state too fast...way to fast... and was stopped and cited for a "felony" which in her home state would have been a civil citation, although hefty. She had to get her uncle attorney to get the speed knocked down to a misdemeanor violation.

    It's best to not under the influence of anything; legal or illegal. In some states you may get cited for only DUI while in other states you can be arrested for possession of an illegal substance.

  25. #25
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cassiek View Post
    Just be yourself. One thing that bothers cops is being lied to. The lie will lead the cop to believe you are hiding something. As mentioned before an overwhelming majority of cops treat everyone with dignity and respect. Yes even those of us that enjoy expressing our feminine selves. I know this from experience after all I am one of those cops.
    I love your avatar pic. You can arrest me anytime.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

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