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Thread: Came out to a friend

  1. #1
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    Came out to a friend

    Came out to my oldest GG friend yesterday. My dressing has been increasing lately as has my desire to just say this is me this is what I do.
    Carla was one of the first real friends I made 35 years ago after getting divorced. We have been through a lot of shit together over the years both good and bad. Iv'e been dropping hints in my texts to her and I just finally came out and said I am a crossdresser.

    Her response was I have suspected something for a long time It's ok with me. It felt sooooo good to just be honest. She is accepting,supportive and still my friend. I have the girlfriend I have been wanting so badly now.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    It's so nice to have someone like that in your corner. HOORAY!!
    Just be careful to NOT make everything about your dressing - you need to still be the same you that she's friends with.
    It'd be so-o-o easy to overwhelm her with it and damage what you two have built.
    But - at the same time, the possibilities for new and interesting times ahead are endless. Just make sure that you're both onboard.

  3. #3
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    Thats very good to hear. We all need some kind of support in our lives.
    Our only truth is narrative truth, the stories we tell each other and ourselves, the stories we continually recategorize and refine. Such subjectivity is built into the very nature of memory. Oliver Sacks

  4. #4
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Listen to Sara. It’s just like a relationship. You don’t want to go too hard and make her uncomfortable.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Coming out to a friend can be very rewarding and in some cases removes what some may call a burden, it was for me seems like a dream come true in the way I can lead my life now.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  6. #6
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Congratulations and good luck!

  7. #7
    New Member Natasha.k's Avatar
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    I remember I told my best friend. He just said. So... If that makes your happy...

  8. #8
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    Very good advice not to overwhelm her she has a busy full life. I just want to talk about clothes,shoes,wigs,nail polish,makeup all the important stuff. She is the first person to see pics of me dressed. She likes my taste in clothes and hates that I have better legs than she does.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Just keep in mind that there are a LOT of women who don’t enjoy discussing things like hair and makeup and clothes. Likewise, most women only have a passing knowledge of such things, so don’t be disappointed if she’s not as “girly” as you.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Congratulations, I love hearing things like this. You both know each other a long time so I think you have a solid foundation to continue growing your relationship. Good luck!
    Crissy

  11. #11
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Shirley Rose, I glad your friend was accepting.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  12. #12
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    Coming out to a friend feels very intimating. I?m sure if they are true friends than there won?t be much worry. But I feel that once you tell a friend it just a matter of time for the chain reaction to start and everyone knows. Which for some is the ultimate goal. Maybe just not immediately.

  13. #13
    Member FrannGurl's Avatar
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    Very cool! I have always found it easier to come out to women then men. Women seem far more accepting about it

  14. #14
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    Congratulations Shirley Rose and thank you to everyone who has commented. I was drawn to this thread but it was only as I read that I realized I've recently told two friends about my crossdressing. Blessedly, they both were willing to engage with me and I shared some of my ambivalence and confusion about the behaviors. I'm clearly exploring but as others have said, it is a great deal easier when we have friends we can talk to away from these threads. I'm happy for you.

  15. #15
    Member NicoleRenee's Avatar
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    I find that most females are usually accepting. I would probably say 8 out of 10 anyways . Males have a harder time because it offends their masculinity. It is good to have those female friends in You'r corner. Just don't go overboard with them. Obviously a good resource to have and to be able to learn from.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleRenee View Post
    ...It is good to have those female friends in You'r corner. Just don't go overboard with them. Obviously a good resource to have and to be able to learn from.
    I appreciate the comment. I've come close to revealing a bit more to this woman friend, all in a playful way. Her first response to my coming out was to say "stay out of my lingerie drawer" which came with a laugh. It is definitely who she is, loving and playful. That has motivated me recently to play back at her. When she sent an email thanking me for emotional support "like a good brother" I composed a response that said "or a good sister" with a photo of brassiere I recently bought and had told her about. I hesitated to send the email. I think you're right, that it is best I not "go overboard" with her. My crossdressing may be playing large on my awareness right now but it is a very small part of my relationship with this friend.

    The male friend I told is a lovely gay man who identifies non-binary. I trusted that his experimenting with sexual and gender issues would make him a good person with whom to share, and he was. But there too we have many ways of connecting. My exploration is a very small part of that. I guess that is the reason this website is so important to me right now.

  17. #17
    quiet girl in lingerie Jennifer Soames's Avatar
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    I have told one friend, a woman I have known for ages. She was so accepting and helped me dress for a very big visit to a LGBTI event. It was so much fun.

  18. #18
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    It was a wonderful feeling for me to do just that to my best GG friend and I have not regretted if for one moment and if anything, I think it has made our friendship even closer, her view was pretty much so what's the big deal and she is often the one who brings it up for discussion. The one thing she did say is how lovely it made her feel to know that I trusted her that much, I am sure your friend feels the same way

  19. #19
    Silver Member Frannie7's Avatar
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    I have told one friend who is a woman and I agree with the comments regarding overwhelming her with crossdressing conversation. It's tempting because she may be the only one you can share with but there were reasons that she was your friend before you told her and you don't want to ignore those. I find myself holding back sometimes because I don't want it to be the only thing we talk about. I have told her to tell me if I am a bother and she says I am not. However, I don't want crossdressing to be the only thing we talk about.

  20. #20
    NEVER go bare-legged! Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Shirley, that's awesome!! It's always a good feeling when you come out to a friend, or someone you've known for a long time..... When I came out to a few friends, it felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. LOL
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  21. #21
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    Thank you all for your wise advice to not overwhelm my friend with my dressing. Even though she says she has long suspected I have a strong female side seeing me dressed was still a bit of a shock I suspect. I am taking it slow even though I am about to burst as I have been deep in the pink fog for the last six months. We have been through a lot of shit together and this will be another adventure for us. I was her maid of honor when she got married and a shoulder to cry on when her husband passed away. She suggested I find a great outfit for halloween and we go out. I am both excited and nervous about this. We will be just fine I love and trust her.

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