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Thread: What insecurities do passable, pretty TS have?

  1. #26
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    This is the Transsexual Forum. Anyone can post here but comments need to be related to the OP and/or TS or transition topics. A discussion about "passing" could easily go in the Cross dressing section. Here it needs to relate to transitioning.
    Last edited by Jeri Ann; 09-05-2020 at 08:19 AM.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member MarieTS's Avatar
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    Same as any GG. Just ask!
    Marie

  3. #28
    Reality Check
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    I would think that one of the biggest insecurities a transwoman would have is her past being revealed. The fact that she was born male. The fact that she was in the Boy Scouts or Little League Baseball team. The fact that there's no record of her with her current name before the age of her transition. The fact that she can't produce a high school or college diploma with her name on it.
    Krisi

  4. #29
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    I changed my name on college records, service record with the Texas Education Agency and I have new college diplomas.

    For relationships I would never recommend trying to deceive anyone. Even people who know my past have a tendency to forget it because there are just no reminders, only evidence of the present.

    For employment, in most cases your history shouldn't matter. In cases where a background check is required your past will come up and make a difference in some very conservative areas.

    I am convinced that your name will never be changed completely. There are nooks and crannies in cyberspace where your dead name exists and no one seems to know where to find it, much less change it.

    Credit reporting agencies, Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion will have your dead name as part of your credit history.

    Considering the original post, if someone transitions at an early age, then they do not have much to reveal. The more past you have, the more complicated it gets.

    Day to day stealth is the easiest way. there is just no need for your past to be known.

    This whole thread actually centers around concern about what others perceive and think about you. I have learned that what other people think is none of my business. Safety and livelihood are to be considered, of course. I moved from the area where I spent my entire life because of safety.

  5. #30
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    Jeri Ann,
    I agree with your comment about old names never leaving cyberspace , if I do a search now on photographers my business name will come up , do they ever get deleted from Google , Yell.com or whatever ?

    Krisi,
    I'm finding I don't have problem with people knowing my past , the point is I'm not ashamed of it and people still show some respect for the life I lived as a man . If you show true conviction they will also respect you for the new life you've chosen .

    The one surprise I've found is people soon forget what the man looked like but they may not forget the person . One comment recently from the owner of the garage I take my car to said, " It makes very little difference to me , the fact is you're still that nice person " .
    Last edited by Teresa; 09-10-2020 at 02:04 PM.

  6. #31
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    No erasers for digital info... Some of it gets overwhelmed with new information and fades to almost nothing..

    I still get many letter and junk mail from old name. Sometimes I get robo calls...

    Life is infinitely complicated. "Stealth". "Transition" "passable and pretty" are words that struggle to match that complexity.


    I think we all kind of "just know" what those words mean, but there is alot more to it.

    It's no wonder there is alot of insecurity specific to trans life.
    I am real

  7. #32
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    Teresa, I'm sure it depends on the individual and the way she lives her life. I'm thinking of the person who is trying to act like she was born female and is "just like everybody else". I suppose if you're open about your situation, there's nothing to be afraid of.

    Some time ago, perhaps a few years ago, someone posted here (and directed at me) that there are thousands of transwomen living among us that we think were born female. Neighbors, co-workers, etc. Even married women and their husbands have no idea. I pretty much doubt this is the case, but I didn't see any point in arguing.

    Obviously, if you are married to a man who doesn't know you were born male, your past being revealed would be a big concern. Same for dating, etc.
    Krisi

  8. #33
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    Krisi,
    I really have no fears anymore , because I've ended up in a situation where I'm totally in the open , I'm sure happiness only comes when that point is reached .

    The possibility of more trans people living amonst us maybe true , lets not forget we must include women as well as men in that situtuation , also not all are married or with a fulltime partner , so some people live easily under the radar . On the whole being married or with a fulltime partner does make it more difficult to avoid people knowing about gender issues .

  9. #34
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    I think I can pass most days. At least with out talking. Do I have incurties? I sure do. Even on the days I feel good about my self. I wish I wasn't 6ft tall, I had a different voice, my butt was bigger, and some days I worry about my makeup.

    My hairdresser has helped me a lot with them. Not in a physical way, but more in a mental way. She always says postive things. She has even given me the you are beautiful speech. That many women give to their teenage daughters.

  10. #35
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    That's wonderful Ericka.
    Its a really good observation

    It seems like that is a great way to get your gender identity reflected back at you... its just you, a woman, and her hairdresser.
    I am real

  11. #36
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    One of the great gifts my mother gave me was the name ‘Kimberly’ on my birth certificate As to the OP, I surely do not pass, but I have a pleasant personality!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  12. #37
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    Kaitlyn, I think it helps with her background. She grew up around the trans and gay community. So she knows how to deal with me. Shes given my advice on pretty munch every thing, and I still have a lot to learn. After she found out I have no sisters. She took me under her arm. She has basically become the sister I never had. As she is only a few years older then me.

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