Hi All,
So I told her on Saturday, it was a rollercoaster for sure, lots of tears from both of us?
Sunday and Monday we talked a lot about things to do with what I am, who I am, and while I'm not thinking she's too interested in seeing the fem side of me, she doesn't hate me for it. I told her I would answer any questions she has and have done so, some were hard to answer, or maybe embarrassing is the better term. The big fear she has is me wanting to continue on with transitioning in the future, something I don?t think I want to do, as long as we are married I would not go there, and even If I were suddenly single I'm still not sure, as I said before the costs, personally, socially, economically (on top of divorce too?) are high.
Then last night I woke up to her crying at 11:30, she said she couldn't do it, couldn't go through with us staying together, she was also physically ill & shaking. We talked for a couple hours and got her to fall asleep in my arms, so at least it got a little better. It seems she had read some psychology forums and is truly afraid that I will continue in becoming more feminine no matter what. She is very unhappy with the current trend in therapy to reassure you that you are OK doing what you are doing, rather than aversion/avoidance and dealing with the issue and stopping it. My therapist helped me to not hate myself, and I am now accepting of what I do, and yes I like it? It is not something my wife likes to hear. She does understand what I do is due to my history, but she does not believe there is a biological component to it, and that there is a possibility of me stopping it in the future if there is something else to fill that void. I told her I have tried in the past, and it always has come back into my life.
She did say she is not going to make any hasty decisions and as given us 90 days to come to terms with all this. We are also working on our marriage through a therapy "App" called "Lasting" and have honestly talked to each other more in the last week than in the last year, we are making progress on several issues, but I'm still not sure how things will work out in November. She did stress that she is not expecting me to just quite crossdressing, so there is a glimmer of hope...
