Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 94

Thread: Thinking of purging

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    121

    Thinking of purging

    Hi all. It has been a while. The pandemic has limited my time I can devote to CD and related activities. As a result the pink fog I was in last year has mostly rolled out. At the moment I am comfortable wearing skirts when Incan but no longer feel the need to go full drag. So, I am considering purging those things like my wig makeup and breast forms. As a reminder, I am in the closet and will always be, so the more I have around the more chance I have of getting caught. I am looking for some input. I don?t want to purge then the fog rolls in again and have to start over. At the same time, I am not sure it will. Thanks in advance for your advice.

  2. #2
    Lady in Waiting kinky_caitlin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Georgetown, KY
    Posts
    77
    From past experience, the pink fog will come back and you will wish you hadn't purged. Tho sometimes a purge can be refreshing to make a new wardrobe out of it and new style, but pretty much every one here will tell you that it will come back. Also this current world situation won't last forever and things will get back to normal someday (not soon enough for most of us, but it will)

  3. #3
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    France, Villessot near St Christophe
    Posts
    2,666
    In a few words, don't purge! you may regret it but also if you, do to replace what gets done away with is money that followed bad.
    I would try and find a place to store your things and then think out how you want your future to pan out, but as i say dont do anything right now, think first
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    73
    I've been buying lingerie that last few weeks with the thought THIS TIME I'll dedicate a dresser drawer where I can KEEP these lovely, sensual undergarments.

    It has been interesting arriving here and reading about "purging," something I've done, both out of fear and out of shame. Yes, that is definitely a part of living a life that is judged so severely by so many insecure people. When I listed for my former wife the many sexual things I'd done in my life, the one that least upset her was my crossdressing. I was surprised by her response. She reminded my one of her dear friends is a therapist who works with gender fluid clients. She has heard a great deal about what we do.

    I've no idea how at risk you are to exposure or what the consequences of exposure might be to you... but I would say that respecting the feelings that lead you to express yourself as you do, with women's clothing, wigs and makeup, is important. I'm intent on not shaming myself for these feelings and behaviors. I live alone, so it is easier for me to indulge these feelings. I hope you find a response that honors your feelings and cares for you.

    I expect two new brassieres to arrive today and I'm excited. I certainly have no intention of throwing them away...
    We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time...
    T.S. Eliot Four Quartets

  5. #5
    New Member Stexxl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    8
    I'd be inclined to purge if I'm honest. As you're in the closet I assume your partner finding stuff would be really bad news?

    A partner finding something like breast forms is as in your face as it gets and it generally doesn't go down well (as I know from personal experience).

    Just my $0.02

    Good luck whatever your decision!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    East coast
    Posts
    2,432
    Based on 73 years of experience, don’t do it.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    13,317
    COVID is a bad time to make dramatic changes to one's life. Currently, for many of us living in a "smoke storm," yes, that's the new phrase around here, there is very little time to express oneself. My wife and I are retirees. She is recovering from a total knee replacement. Pre-COVID she'd be out of the house overnight to babysit of grandchild. I'd have an evening/night to myself. None of that is going to happen soon. So, I am now limited to pecking away on the computer (this site) and perusing feminine garments. Yes, four panties are in the mail headed this way. It's keeping my head in the game. To me it's a diversion from the limitations imposed beyond my control.

    Don't purge. I don't know how big your stash is. There may be an immense cost to replace any purged garments. If you're a closeted cross dresser why is your exposure increasing now than before? Is your wife and child rummaging through the domicile because of COVID isolation or you just feel exposure will ultimately occur? That aside, it sounds as if depression is governing your decisions.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Going to seed!
    Posts
    22,221
    The fog will roll in, although it comes on its own schedule. You may never go beyond the closet, but even if that proves to be true, someday you may again find yourself wishing to avail yourself of those expensive make-up items and breast forms. When/if that day arrives, you will regret the waste of money and time as you replenish your supply.

    Find a secure place, perhaps someplace other than your home, to keep these items until you want them and/or until you wish to disclose these unique attributes to your wife.

  9. #9
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    4,410
    You know one of the things that make spouses angry is the money we spend.

    Hop off the buy, purge, buy, purge train and just find a safe place to store everything.

    You know you are going to need it all again once things get back to some sense of normal.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    629
    From personal experience, and 2 purges, I wouldn't do it at all. I regret the purges I did, as I lost items that I can never get back (like 80s-90s aerobic wear with spandex legging).

    At the beginning of my relationship, I had to hide Wendy's stuff, and I ran the risk of my spouse finding out too. Luck just had it she never found it.

    If you are gonna purge, do a few items at a time. Like purge the bigger items, ones that have a higher risk of being found. Keep items that can easily be hidden.

    I can assure you, the pink fog will hit and it will hit hard.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member joank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    876
    Based on 77 years, don't do it. I have been through three major purges and many minor ones. PINK FOG COMES BACK( with a vengeance at times).
    joank
    Southern California

  12. #12
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    France
    Posts
    1,013
    AmandaSophy, are you in the closet because you are hiding your dressing to your SO? In that case, an option is to not purge and rather tell your SO.
    "There's one thing I don't understand. The thing that I don't understand is every [bleep]-ing thing about crossdressing." - The Blimey
    For those who consider telling their SOs, read this fine manual first: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner

  13. #13
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Southern Illinois
    Posts
    2,340
    Don?t do it. I did..once. Never more!

  14. #14
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,083
    AmandaS.,
    I often feel members who have a wax and wane situation have the biggest problem , some tell of going months perhaps even years before it happens again , . Whether you have clothes etc. or not will not stop it happening again , so why not pack the stuff away and see what happens . Getting caught , it happens and again it's so much harder for someone to explain when it's not a continuous feeling .

    The bottom line is it will come back , it's part of you like it's part of me , the difference being I felt the need 24/7 , so it's easier to be full time , the only purging maybe male clothes .

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    North
    Posts
    563
    Rule No1, Never purge
    Live Today as if it is your last day

  16. #16
    Member Nastasha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Sunny Florida
    Posts
    199
    In the end you have to do what works for you. That said, I have purged a few times and regret it, like Wendy mentioned I had some really nice things that you just can't get anymore.
    I think you need to sit on it for a few days and make sure, the fog does come back, and the expense involved in building back up can be draining.

  17. #17
    Member MaryAnn1963's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    Mid West
    Posts
    183
    You asked for opinions... mine is NO, don't do it! I have yet to hear on an instance where purging had worked out for the best. CDing for most of us is part of who we are. When we try to shut that part away, then you start living as an incomplete self. In my experience, I wasn't very happy trying to be "normal". I'm not. Put your things away somewhere safe till Amanda calls you again.... she will.
    The Pink Fog is thick with this one....

  18. #18
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    23,346
    Yes, purge! And, here's how:

    Write "Purge", on a cardboard box. Put ALL your girlie things in it. Then, put it in your storage shed, attic, or other out of the way place.

    U can now forget about your purge. Until the fog rolls back in!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,629
    If the pandemic caused your change in thinking, it seems logical to wait until after the pandemic to see if you still feel the same.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Madison AL
    Posts
    3,404
    In reference to the pin fog. It is just like real fog They both keep coming back as nature and the mind sees fit. It rarely can be controlled by humans.
    Last edited by Leslie Mary S; 09-17-2020 at 03:33 AM.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  21. #21
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    4,997
    I'll try to help you.

    You can purge and be annoyed at yourself 6 months from now, or ...

    1. You can sell it here or on eBay. At least you girl stuff will go to someone who wants it.
    2, You can rent a storage locker. I have one and pay cash every month. I get Steffi's mail at a PO Box so everything is hidden.
    3. You can mail it to me for safe keeping (postage paid) I still have extra space in my storage locker and I will store it for free. I will send it back to you postage paid when you change your mind. And I won't even try any of in on, except maybe a test drive with the forms. LOL. No, not really. I have several pair of forms myself, and many wigs.

    PM me if you're interested.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  22. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    121
    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Yes, purge! And, here's how:

    Write "Purge", on a cardboard box. Put ALL your girlie things in it. Then, put it in your storage shed, attic, or other out of the way place.

    U can now forget about your purge. Until the fog rolls back in!
    Thanks for that advice. I know it is serious but it made me smile.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    AmandaS.,
    I often feel members who have a wax and wane situation have the biggest problem , some tell of going months perhaps even years before it happens again , . Whether you have clothes etc. or not will not stop it happening again , so why not pack the stuff away and see what happens . Getting caught , it happens and again it's so much harder for someone to explain when it's not a continuous feeling .

    The bottom line is it will come back , it's part of you like it's part of me , the difference being I felt the need 24/7 , so it's easier to be full time , the only purging maybe male clothes .
    Yes. I definitely waxed and waned this year.

    @Sometimes Steffi. Thanks for the offer. There is some good advice in there

    I am hoping my desire to wear skirts will even out my need to an equilibrium. It is very disconcerting to go from needing to go full drag to thinking I am over it. But I will yield to more experienced and wiser minds and keep what I have. Thank you all

  23. #23
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    3,050
    My opinion from reading this forum for several years is this:

    Don't totally purge. However, go through your things. Get rid of anything that doesn't fit right, doesn't look fabulous on you, out of style, or things that you don't love. Just because you have girly things doesn't mean that you have to keep EVERYTHING.

    Personally, I go through my things every spring and fall and get rid of things that just don't work for me any longer.

  24. #24
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Maryland, USA
    Posts
    8,431
    Do not even think of purging, it is a losers game and you will be sorry. Maybe not right away but you will definitely be sorry and I am sure you will never find some of the things you dumped. Then of course you have the expense of buying more to replace everything.
    So many of us here have purged in the past before we had a forum like this. Please do not purge.
    Crissy

  25. #25
    Lingerie Girl Andi.Devine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Goodyear, AZ
    Posts
    121
    Quote Originally Posted by char GG View Post
    My opinion from reading this forum for several years is this:

    Don't totally purge. However, go through your things. Get rid of anything that doesn't fit right, doesn't look fabulous on you, out of style, or things that you don't love. Just because you have girly things doesn't mean that you have to keep EVERYTHING.

    Personally, I go through my things every spring and fall and get rid of things that just don't work for me any longer.
    This may be the best advice I've read in quite sometime. I'm fairly lucky in this respect, I think I purged twice. And both times I hadn't accumulated much yet. I now move items between storage areas. The things that I love to wear the most, I keep readily available. The rest goes into a tote that I store on a high shelf in the closet. If the items stay in the tote for too long, I get rid of them.

    If/When I decide to go on an extended break from dressing. I put everything in the tote. Then when I am ready to begin again, and I will at some point, I can retrieve the items I really want to wear at that time and keep them close.

    Don't completely purge.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State