Today the gender dysphoria has hit really hard. A while ago I made the decision not to fully transition because I didn't want all the surgery and general fear. I told myself I was okay with this but sometimes I really struggle. The fact is I really want to be female. Today I spent a whole bunch of times looking at websites for local gender confirmation doctors and thinking about requesting a consult be not doing it because I know I won't go through with it. I put on my favorite dress to help me fell better but it really just reminds me how much I enjoy just being Stacey. I know these strong feelings will eventually pass and I will be okay again but I also know one day they will be back. I've saw a therapist for several years and got a letter for hormones which I have been taking. I really love the effect they had both mentally and physically. I stopped seeing the therapist because I felt I had reached a point where I could go no farther.
I guess I have rambled a bit but I just feel stressed and really don't have anyone to talk to.
