First, forgive any weird typos. I have my claws on tonight.

So, I'm considering going out - something I haven't done in guy or girl mode in about two months - but I'm kind of on the fence about it. I've been out in public in full fem a few times with mixed results. The first time was an unmitigated disaster, but I got away with it. The next couple of times were uneventful, but short. Don't remember which time, but once, it was just not comfortable, and I'm not completely sure why. Might have been the last time.

Anyway, aside from the obvious physical and psychological dangers I've discussed before, with the current state of the world, I'm not sure it's not more dangerous than normal right now. There's a lot of people with a surplus of pent up anger right now, and I'm not sure about giving them a low-sympathy target. Know what I mean? I won't go into details on this, but in addition, there's also a corner of society who's blaming COVID-19 on the LGBTQ* community, which in some people's minds is justification to retaliate. And, again, I'll bring up the usual harassment, etc. that we are all familiar with.

Now, all that said, part of me feels like I'm not going to get another life, so I should actually try to live this one. And, while some portion of all our lives is determined by outside forces, another portion - whether or not a majority is debatable - is fully up to us. And, to some degree, we do have to try to please ourselves occasionally, rather than the populace. Not constantly, but once in a while. Furthermore, there is no such thing as a risk-free existence. It does have to be controlled and kept to a minimum, but it can't be eliminated. The question is whether that pursuit of self-pleasure is worth the amount of risk involved.

And so, here I sit, not knowing exactly what is right. I lean to the safe side, but I also fear later regrets. Such is my life.

*I don't consider myself LGBTQ, but I suppose it's a reasonable, if incorrect assumption by onlookers.