Crossdressing over the years has produced a great deal of shame for me. I'm very grateful for this website where I'm encountering people who are learning how to accept themselves while continuing to engage in this behavior. It helps me be kinder to myself. But along the way I've experienced considerable confusion over what this and other behaviors mean. Did I seek out women's lingerie because I really am a woman born in the wrong body? Were encounters I had with men along the way further evidence that either I was gay or a woman who wanted to be with a man?
I know from the reading I've done over time that most men who engage in crossdressing are heterosexual. But even here, the question is often touched upon... is crossdressing simply a step along the way to admitting we really need to be women and therefore become the impetus for transitioning? I know there is no definitive answer to this question, that we each need to find our own truth. Clearly crossdressing is more than a hobby. There is a driven quality to the need to put on women's clothes that is clear in conversations on the board. Yes, we can take the urge as an occasion to play, either with ourselves or our partners, and playing is wonderful. But I'm wondering how folks sort out these things for themselves. Were you confused? Have you found clarity or do you still struggle? Is crossdressing simply something you do or something whose existence in your life is challenging? Does crossdressing bring you comfort when life delivers stress? I guess the reality that we continue doing it as years unfold means it works for us, even with its many challenges that are regularly discussed in this forum. I guess I'm still sorting these things out for myself. I appreciate what others are experiencing in their journey. Thanks for commenting.
