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Thread: I'm my own enemy

  1. #1
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010

    I'm my own enemy

    On Friday I came home early and my wife is working from home. As much as she tries not to make a work inviroment of the house sometimes she just cant escape it. I was watching TV and she asked me if I could lower the TV or not make to much noise. I fell asleep and she woke me up saying I was snoring. She suggested why don't I get dolled up and pretty and go for a drive, I answered "IN DAY LIGHT"? and she told me I could take her car because it has tinted windows.
    I then made the worse mastake, I asked her if she was kicking me out of the house? She then gave me a "WOW" and starting telling me that she thought I would have been happy that my wife is telling me to go for a drive and there are a thousand other things she could have told me. For example clean the yard, tightly up the garage or maybe finish one of the ten projects I started and never finished. I felt really bad and seeing that she was having a little stressful day at work I decided to shut up and get dressed and go.
    WOW! driving during the day is a whole different experience, your really out there no hiding anything. Ten minutes into the ride my wife called apologizing to me that she is a little stressed and asked me how it felt to be out in daylight. I told her that I'm looking down at myself and can't believe that I'm really out during the day totally exposed and told her it's a thill, exciting plus it was nerv racking. I then apologized also and she told me to be safe and have fun and enjoy myself and I had about 4 hours before dinner is ready.
    I really felt bad that as I did look down at myself I could have never imagined when I was younger that I would be doing something like this and with a wifes support. I decided to cut the ride short and I went to my wife's favourite bakery and bought her favourite carmel latte and her favourite pastry. I got home and she was sitting on the couch and when she seen what i brought her she told that was the best thing to end a bad work day. I told her I now see how a women could get fed up with men like me, it seems like we are never happy, so maybe some women see it like why try if they can't please. I told her I was sorry and that maybe I'm taking her for granted for what she really does for me.
    I apologized again and she told me at times it like Iam my own enemy.
    I guess at times I just don't think, and maybe if my wife does get discouraged, maybe I will send her there myself. I'm writing this to maybe make sure someone else here doesn't make the same mistake and become there own enemy.

  2. #2
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    I'm a little confused.
    You were bothered by the suggestion of going for a ride in daylight and had to take the wife's car with tinted window so you couldn't be seen and then went to your wife's favorite bakery to buy her something?
    Sounds contradictory to me.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  3. #3
    Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Orlando, Fl
    It happens all the time to me. Not necessarily in this forums subject but in everyday life. Open mouth insert foot.

    Sounds like it all worked out for you though. Great relationship you have!

  4. #4
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    You have a good wife - I suspect when she is stressed because of work she needs to be alone so no point in being mad at yourself when - perhaps a simple "yes dear" is the best way to follow one of her suggestions

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Going driving day or night it one of the safest things you can do. I mean honestly can you see into the other cars on the road and tell what everyone else is wearing? Most people are paying attention to the road.

    Maybe if you are lucky you might see someone's face and top when you are stopped at a traffic light.

    But then who gawks at the other people waiting at a traffic light?
    Last edited by Robertacd; 10-04-2020 at 10:54 AM.

  6. #6
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    The north Wirral ( near Liverpool ) U.K.
    If working from home is long term why not build Her an office in the garden ?

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Northern California
    Having carried our desire to crossdress through life and encountering both judgment and rejection, it isn't always easy to accept the good things when they come our way. However you came to the point where your wife could make that suggestion, it was good work Maria. Now you have that thrilling opportunity to appreciate the support and engage in the behavior you've longed to do. I expect there are still limits to what you will do, perhaps from your conversations with your wife, perhaps from your life circumstances and your own comfort level. Appreciating your wife makes good sense... she is a treasure, especially for someone who crossdresses. The fact you've been able to navigate this potentially difficult matter successfully suggests you have a strong marriage in every way. Deep respect and have fun!
    We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time...
    T.S. Eliot Four Quartets

  8. #8
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Almost the Great White North...
    Really a good reminder, Maria. Your wife is so supportive, and I am sure she appreciates your thoughtfulness in not pushing too hard. She trusts you, obviously, and at the same time she clearly is coaxing you to expand your comfort zone beyond the old evening drives.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I suspect Maria's wife kicked her out of the house because the snoring was so loud. Probably interfering with her concentration. Maybe, Maria needs a sleep study. Hell will freeze over before my wife wakes up from a snoring nap and tells me to go get myself pretty and take a a cliff.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Wherever there is a Sale or Macys, but mostly Baltimore MD
    Maria ;

    You had an off day, we all do at times.

    Some Cardinal rules when a spouse is working from home.
    . Make yourself scare (Leave the house, go to some place else to be, If you have to be in the house , go to another part of the house, If you have to be in the same room, read a book ----- quietly.)
    . When you want to ask them a question ......... don't ... Hold all questions until they are not working, go back to being somplace else.
    . When they ask you for something ..... keep your replies short and to the point. then make yourself scarce.

    At the end of the day they will praise you for being supportive and making it easy to work from home.

    Yep I know some people think their spouses can work through anything, but it's so easy to loose focus when working from home.

    I have a friend who put a cubicle in the living room for his wife so she could feel like she was at the office.

    Corona time call for Corona solutions
    Kelly DeWinter
    Find Kelly at:
    Kelly's Blog

  11. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Your wife is great. Not only does she love you, she knows better than you that nothing bad happens to men in dresses. Partly because you look better than you think, but mostly because it's Not A Big Deal anymore.

    In the spirit of Fake it Til You Make It, listen to her and go out while dressed. Assume she is right about your presentation until such time as you feel your own self confidence building.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK

    I've said it before, you need to heed your wife's advice, stop worrying about the whatifs and get out there.

    Unless your SO has you hugely insured my guess is she's not going to do anything to put you in harms way. If she thinks you're good enough to go out then see the green light and go.

    In the past few weeks you've reported a number of successful firsts, day time driving being one of them and at your wife's insistence. Perhaps the way forward is to ask her to set you challenges, things she thinks are within your grasp and for you to take the opportunity provided. You might eventually realise the only thing holding you back is you.

  13. #13
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    New England
    You are married to a saint or a fool. So you're sitting around snoring while she's working from home in a clearly stressful job. She gives you permission to indulge your CDing and then calls you to let you know when dinner will be ready? Unless you have kitchen staff, seems to me that your wife would be the one preparing said dinner once she had concluded her stressful work day. All the while, you are driving around in a dress. Congratulations. You win the Internet.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    On the surface, I am a little confused as well. But my view is superficial and I don't know about the dynamics between you and your wife. Things like this happen where our actions get a little out of sync and minor conflicts happen. I suspect the relationship between you and your wife is quite solid and mutually supportive in most respects. You are two people and two people are bound to bug each other once in awhile. Irritation Happens. If it happens all the time then there is a problem somewhere. If that is not the case and usually things run smoothly then let it go and remember to do a little better next time.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. It was nice of you to try to make amends with pastry. Maybe just to help keep you from taking her for granted try to do something nice for her each day. Reminds her that you love her with actions and in the process you?ll remind yourself.

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