Do you think it can be risky?

[Stephanie47]

Teresa, you misread my comment. My comment was your words may have elicited a threatening response, not that your comment was threatening. I will stand by my comment that having a dog on a leash/lead also offers control and safety of your dog. I've seen "family" dogs tear off chucks of a toddler face and by a breed with no negative history. And, while your dog may not be anything but friendly and inquisitive, it may be 'dead meat' to that man's dogs. Sometimes dogs do more than smell each other's butt.

[wendy]

I would have to say yes it can be risky CDing and heading out.

One event that I will never forget : this was years ago when I just wore women's clothes, no make up, no hips/butt pads, no breastforms. Wig was only a costume wig.

On one evening in late fall, my wife was taking an evening course at the University so I thought this was a perfect time for Wendy to take an evening walk. Because it was late fall, it was dark early on, so I thought I would use the cover of night to hide my male features. So I got dressed up in my wife's sweater and pants (yes I wore a bra and pantys underneath, those were mine), put on my costume wig, and out I went for a walk up and down the block. There was no one else out so it was quiet and peaceful.

As I was headed home, I see this white 4 door Buick pass me by. I didn't think much of it, but noted it turned into the alley down by my house. I finish my walk and go home. As it came close to picking up my wife from University, I change back into drab mode. I go out, start my truck, and pull out of my garage.

What do I see parked close to our back fence ? That same white 4 door Buick that passed me early on. God knows what he was doing behind our fence. Since I was in a pickup, in theory I could look down to see who was in the vehicle, but unfortunately, our back door flood light was still on and blinded me so I couldn't see into the car.

I drive off and in my rear view mirror I could see him drive off too.

To me, that was scary, I would have to estimate that the buick drove past me at least an hour before, so he was probably staring into our house for that amount of time. I don't even want to think what he was doing in his car either (gross).

[Cheryl T]

In my ongoing discussions with my wife about my crossdressing one of the things she wants me to give up is my walks, I only dress when away for work, and some of that travel is one of Arizona's national parks. One of the things I really look forward to is walking outside dressed up at night, she is afraid for my safety, I have never felt at risk but maybe a little apprehensive, it is different as a female.

Your comment reminded me of what my wife said when we began going out and going to support group meetings.
She said she wanted to be with me when I went out dressed. As she put it "even if it's just to call 9 1 1". She had the thought that there could be risk involved and that someone might take offense to me being dressed as a woman.
I had to remind her that I was the only one with a cell phone at the time and that it was in My purse. We laughed at that but she still felt better if she was with me, which was just fine with me.

[susanmichelle]

I?m always careful the best I can when out dressed. I realize most on here are cross dressers but there?s many transgender here too. I just read another story about a mtf. Transgender was killed a few days ago. Too many have died due to all the violence and racism going on the last few years. We all need to be careful especially the one with the van, what a good place yo grab someone and throw them in a van and drive off. Please be careful and sounds like you did a good job handling yourself. God speed.

[MonicaPVD]

I'm only going to say this one time. Women don't go for solo walks at night. Ever. Many of us ladies have an affinity for this type of behavior. It's ridiculous.

[Teresa]

Monica,
We tried telling that to our daughter when she was at university but she still did it !

[Kimberly A.]

We all need to be careful especially the one with the van, what a good place yo grab someone and throw them in a van and drive off. Please be careful and sounds like you did a good job handling yourself. God speed.

Thank you, Susan and I totally agree.
But, it did appear that the guy was locked out of his van so he couldn't have thrown anyone into it even if he wanted to. LOL

[helicd]

In this day and age it makes sense to be as prepared as possible for any possible trouble, not to look for it, but purely as a defensive measure. This is something you should do whether you're out in normal clothing or crossdressed (or even naked, although concealing force multipliers becomes a bit more difficult then).

Situational awareness is key along with having whatever force multipliers you feel comfortable with using. These could be something as simple as pepper spray all the way up to concealed carry (persuant to your local laws).

An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure, and just because you're out in full male garb doesn't mean you're magically immune from danger.

[suzanne]

There are places women don't go, ever. Places they go only in groups, and places they don't go while dfessed in a certain way. Maybe thats wrong, that people should be totally free to be themselves. But that's not the world we live in today. Maybe some day. But until then, observe where the women go or ddon't go, do or don't do, dress or don't dress, and go with that.

[Aunt Kelly]

I'm only going to say this one time. Women don't go for solo walks at night. Ever.

True, and as you say, thrill-seeking crossdressers seem to find the activity uniquely compelling, but I wouldn't call it "ridiculous". Risky, stupid, and short-sighted? You bet, but if your thing is getting that rush from engaging in that kind of behavior, reason takes a back seat. As someone who used to enjoy things like power sliding a dirt bike, at 90 mph, with both feet on the pegs, who am I to judge?

[sugababe]

She said her dog struggles with Arthritis that's why she didn't put it on a leash.
The dog is in pain.





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I have been in more then a dozen different incidents because of dressing and just being in a place where gangs activity is peaking.

In Hollywood the gangs started robbing tourists.
I witnessed a guy with his girlfriend get robbed for his iPhone. He dropped it and I went around the corner and called the police from the phone booth.they sell these stolen items like watches and phones on 7th/ Avarado in downtown Los Angeles It's a Covid hot spot with the crowds of street vendors and people.
There where so many clubs but many have shut down.
The police finally got control of and identified the gangs that was robbing tourist and now it's back safe again.

Learn to Parry a punch will save you most of the time.to Parry a punch just slap it down and are away from you.
Can I tell you that testing your defense skills on the street gives me a rush but I rather not deal with a incident.
Earrings can tear your ear,high heels make balance more difficult, sandals do not give you a good foundation for self-defence,corsets restrictions stop you from putting maximum power in your punches/kicks.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I am closeted and never go out---and have enough sense not to Cding itself is enough thrill

[Marianne S]

The SA then told me about a female SA friend in the store who did approach a couple to ask if they minded wearing masks , the guy turned and punched her in the face .

This is absolutely disgusting, Teresa. Did they catch this SOB? If they did, I would hope the magistrates socked him with the full six months in jail for such a vicious assault. Or is that too much to hope for these days?

Too bad that Teresa was threatened by the nasty man, plus his nasty dogs. Holster in plain site a big ole can of pepper spray as a deterrent?

Unfortunately Teresa lives in the UK, so when it comes to pepper spray, "Best of British luck!" as they say over there. Pepper spray has been completely illegal there since as long ago as 1968.

Which is silly really, when we consider that pepper spray is least a non-lethal form of defense, unlike some others. The following site states that owning pepper spray is illegal in most of Europe, though for the benefit of our European members, it lists countries where it is and isn't legal.

As a matter of interest, as that site also mentions, there was a public outcry in Denmark in 2016 when a teenage girl who used pepper spray to protect herself from a sexual assault was faced with a fine of 50 pounds. (The reason a U.S. site cited a Danish fine in pounds, rather than dollars or krone, is probably because they got this news from the British Daily Telegraph. However, in theory the fine could have been as much as 5,000 krone, around 600 pounds or $800. I don't know the final disposition of the case.) The Copenhagen Post reported at the time that increasing numbers of Danes were traveling to Germany to buy pepper spray, where it was legal.

Anyway, as one contributor to that site stated, pepper spray was made legal in Denmark in January 2019. That may well demonstrate the power of public opinion, in Denmark at least. What he didn't say is that their law is still a mess, because it only permits people to possess pepper spray for defense inside their own home--which of course is where they're least likely to be attacked. I have no doubt the law will be widely flouted, as laws are here in the U.S., by people carrying pepper spray outside the home. They'll think it's better to risk a fine than a serious assault. Moreover, possession is only legal for those 18 and over, so the girl in that earlier incident, who was only 17, would still risk a fine.

It has also been pointed out that if a woman, for instance, uses illegally carried pepper spray to fend off a sexual assault. she's less likely to report the attack to police and incur a fine, thus forfeiting the opportunity to catch the offender. Apparently Danish law provides for people considered "especially vulnerable" to apply to the police for permission to carry pepper spray outside the home--but then I imagine scads of people will do just that, and who's going to judge who's "vulnerable" and who isn't? I really don't know why they bother with all these restrictions and expensive bureaucracy. They ought to follow the "KISS principle." Just legalize it and done with it!

[char GG]

Thank you, Susan and I totally agree.
But, it did appear that the guy was locked out of his van so he couldn't have thrown anyone into it even if he wanted to. LOL

Possibly. However, it could have been a ploy. What better way to get a potential victim close enough to a van to "throw them in". I still wouldn't trust him.

I think you handled the situation just fine.

[SophyV]

I have been watching a show about women who survived Ted Bundt encounters. While some barely escaped with their lives after being brutally tortured and raped, many just listened to their instincts and avoided his advances. Listen to your instincts better to be safe than sorry

[Teresa]

Sugababe,
I also suffer from arthritis so we're both in some discomfort , the best cure is exercise which we both still enjoy , I've had three labradors so I know when the suffering has gone too far . I did boxing at school so I know the basics of defending myself from someone throwing punches .

Marianne,
The SA didn't know the outcome of the attack but she had other customers waiting so I left it at that .

It's a tricky question and the UK law doesn't simplify it , I hope I never have to carry items to defend myself , the problem is a defensive item can become an offensive weapon in the wrong hands .

[Marianne S]

I have been watching a show about women who survived Ted Bundt encounters.

I am ashamed to say that off the top of my head I can't recall the name if a single Bundy victim. Except for one that's always stuck in my mind.

Carol DaRonch. The "one who got away"!

[Dutchess]

This thread has made e think about how I handle things like this. I never really noticed what i did really , but ive lived alone now for a good while . My closest family( my youngest ) is 100 miles away and really no close friends that i'd go places with . So its REALLY just me and Im a pretty privte little creature as well and i think alot of it is to avoid scary/dangerous people . I also do not want to take the chance of someone following me home either .

I noticed that when I get out of my car , I completely disengage . I make NO eye contact with anyone ever , man , woman , no one . I stare off into space or at the store itself and keep walking . Twice , at Wal Mart and at Valero someone asked me for something and I pretended not to hear and kept it moving NO eye contact . I will also act very angry if i notice someone trying to make eye contact or drift my way. Like I'm mad a my non existent man or my kid lol and so mad im about to flip out and no one bothers me then either .
There us one wildly aggressive homeless younger man that sometimes appears at a gas station near my horses and ive really stopped going here due to his sudden appearances but i got VERY crazily , verbally aggressive with him and still i would not make eye contact . Weird I never noticed what I did until we started talking about it here . All this is automatic .

Cat calls at my age are very inappropriate so that really doesn't happen , I dont present as someone you'd do that too but the very few times it has happened they are not acknowledged at all .

[Teresa]

Dutchess,
It's a tough one and I can understand your caution . It still apears to be more of a problem in the US but saying that I'm sure UK members will remind me of possible no go areas here .

It's feels a long time since I've been out at night with the current lockdown rules , as for the daytime most of my outings are mostly safe shopping trips , eye contact is a little weird as we're peering over masks and if I'm wearing my glasses they will be steamed up anyway . Very few women dress to attract attention in the daytime , I'm happy to go along with that , not much point if you're just doing chores .

I have to admit the dog walking incident was an eye opener as it happened in broad daylight with other people walking their dogs in the area . The one point that did make me smile was when they walked away I heard the guy say to his wife , " Silly cow !" Talk about a back handed way of not being misgendered !