Char GG,
Thank you for the advice. I was not looking to hook up, just to meet others who struggle with the same issues that I do. I intend to remain faithful in deed up until there is no longer any chance of reconciliation. I do not know who i am supposed to be right now. I just hope that who ever I am when I come out the other side of all of this is someone who she can still love.
Ray
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I had a good session today with my new counselor. I am ready to stop the denial and work on finding out who I really am. Maybe I will still have a wife at the end of all of the searching or maybe I will not. I am not perfect and I made many mistakes. My mistakes have hurt her and our relationship. There is still no finality to our separation. But after 7 months she will still not even touch me or agree to seek marriage counseling.
My wife and I still see each other every week. She purchased her own house but she did not perform due diligence and as a result is stuck with a house that needs a lot of work. I have offered to help her with her house and have been working every weekend for the past 2.5 months on repairing, updating and even just plain old cleaning and painting trying to make the place livable. When she asked my why I do all of this even though she had thrown me out and separated all of our things, I told her it is because I love her. How could I stand idly by and do nothing when the person that I love can be helped by my actions.