I haven't started a thread in years, but in the last couple months I have made some observations that I regard as peculiar. Note that I am thoroughly closeted, and will likely never leave my property beyond the back deck (I live rural, the nearest neighbor being some 300 yards distant, and no clear lines of sight). I have a number of very male attributes that I have zero intention to change, hence I will never dress up 100%. I have recently taken to masking, and trying some make-up above the mask to give myself the illusion of feminine appearance.
Observation One: I have noticed that I seem to have physically started developing some feminine characteristics. My hips seem to be wider and padded more. Even my chest, in the breast area, is more padded. All this while I have lost about 5 pounds. No change in diet, other than eating a little more frugally. I have had dressing more on my mind. Is this common?
Observation Two: When dressed, and I feel good about the look (Pink Fog), I am really hesitant to change back. I have things that I need to do (not dressed) and need to change, but just don't want to. However, if I look in a mirror and remove the wig and mask -- the feeling immediately reverses, and I'm totally ready to resume male form. I'm not quite revolted at the half way face looking back at me, but it changes the mood entirely.
I am nothing like ready to move forward in this hobby, and am quite satisfied at where I am, but these things puzzle me.
