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Thread: My GF told me "Just do it"

  1. #1
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    My GF told me "Just do it"

    All of us have different levels of dressing, different scales of acceptance and so forth. Courage to go out on ones own takes a lot of guts in the beginning but gets easier as time goes by but still there is always a little niggle in ones mind " what do I do I do if somebody is really nasty to me " and so forth. All sorts of thoughts rattle round in ones mind, can I do this or that new thing, and more besides.
    I am very respectful towards people and of whats around me and how I present as well. One of my main thoughts is never to cause a situation, to that end my dressing life has been placid and enjoyable.
    Recently meeting friends of my GF for the first time gave me a new confidence to face the unknown, which brings me to the main point of this post.
    It has been said many times "they have seen everything" referring to Police, Fire and the medical profession, this last one was the final hurdle I had to conquer. Why I did not do so before beats me now.
    I dress 24/7 now and have been for blood tests dressed but somehow I baulked at visiting my doctor dressed. I talked about this to my GF who told me " Just do it, it is you and a part of your life".
    My previous visit to my Dr had been in semi drab but this time I got up the courage to go to him from some repeat meds, nails painted, pants, bra, forms and feminine styled pullover. As is usual I take my top off so he can listen to my heart and lungs but this time under my top I had my bra and forms. So the time came and I had to take my pullover off, strangely I felt no nervousness at doing so, just a thought " well this me and here I am".
    Nothing was said, or questions asked, no changes of facial expression. The examination went on just as it had done many times before except instead of Bob being bare to the waist it was Bobbi in a bra and forms.
    The examination over, a new prescription printed out and I was on my way, as I walked out towards my car I thought to myself "How could I have avoided such a simple thing for so long?"
    I felt as though once again a new stone had been turned over, a new hurdle leaped over successfuly and another part of my journey has been added to my many memories of what has happened since I began to come out in 2015.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  2. #2
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    Good for you!

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    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Hi, Bobbi! Bravo for the GF! Glad it all worked out without any hassles! I find doctors as you said have seen it all! I came out to mine while not wearing wig, make up or forms! I was wearing panties, woman's jeans and a feminine top! I informed him that next time it would be Lana Mae who visited him! I have yet to make that visit due to coronavirus! I have been to my endo only as Lana Mae! My pulmonologist now knows me as Lana Mae! It feels good to know all are onboard! Good for you! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  4. #4
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Bobbi, You have a wonderful supportive GF, lucky you!
    Crissy

  5. #5
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Bobbi,

    If you're part of a profession that does intimate examinations, treats infected wounds, skin infections and all other manner of things, a bra strap is not likely going to be the most shocking thing you see on a day to day basis.

    That said it did take courage on your part, it's that one further push against the envelope that keeps expanding our horizons. Perhaps on your next visit you could explain that you are 24/7 and that you now refer to yourself as Bobbi. He may ask if you want that added to your notes.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Bobbi,
    We know most of those fears are in our heads and not in other's , so we go out posing problems that may never happen . Are we really at a greater risk than being out in male mode ? We know where we may encounter problems and would steer clear of them in either gender and as you found you were safe enough going to see your GP .

    I'm getting to the point now where very few people know me in male mode and it becomes less and less of a problem because I feel more uncomfortable in male mode . I feel that is the bottom line , do what you are more comfortable and happy as , people pick up on that . Confidence in yourself brings confidence in others .
    The real me ,no going back.

  7. #7
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    Glad to hear about stories like this

  8. #8
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Such a wonderful story, Bobbie. You have an amazing GF!
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

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    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Hi Bobbi,

    Funny thing, I have not mentioned it here, but I did the same thing earlier this month for the first time. I was only getting a small spot on my forehead frozen at the dermatologist so I was able to dress up fully from neck down, but had no makeup or wig on my head. I do not really know why I wanted to do that, but I was fairly relaxed as there were not many people there. Nothing was said to me about my attire. Just normal conversation.

    Sometimes I wonder about myself and what my motivations are. Maybe I have some subliminal Tran tendencies, or maybe I just want to be able to come out as a dresser. I am a bit unpredictable as to what I will do next as far as dressing goes.

    I changed clothes at my storage unit on the way home as I do not have an accepting spouse, unfortunately.

    Sandi

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    It really is that easy, isn't it?

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Sandi,
    Most of unpredicability comes from knowing you don't have an accepting wife , how far can I go or how far am I allowed to go ? It's very hard to find the true reasons when you have a double life , I found it never got any better just worse by painful degrees .
    The real me ,no going back.

  12. #12
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    Glad it went well and that you have such a wonderful, supportive GF!

  13. #13
    Member cindylouho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bobbi46 View Post
    as I walked out towards my car I thought to myself "How could I have avoided such a simple thing for so long?"
    I felt as though once again a new stone had been turned over, a new hurdle leaped over successfuly and another part of my journey has been added to my many memories of what has happened since I began to come out in 2015.
    So true, every time I take a step forward I find myself wondering afterwards "What was I afraid of?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandi Beech View Post
    Hi Bobbi,
    I changed clothes at my storage unit on the way home as I do not have an accepting spouse, unfortunately.
    Sandi
    Its different for everyone. some men might be perfectly happy CDing in secret within a relationship for their whole lives, some would figuratively explode if they tried. I've lived 57 years and over 20 of those happily married before having the talk with my wife a couple of months ago, had the talk gone badly I would have carried on in my marriage status quo and would have continued to be as happy as I've always been with her, instead it went well and I discovered how much better in every way CDing was when sharing it with my wife compared to doing it secretly. Hope this helps you in some way.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    My dressing comes up from time to time with my GF and every time it is "what do you think of this 'dress, skirt, top" and so on. But my GF is more than that, much much more. It is just a normal thing to dress or undress in front of her, and as such is another part of my life.
    Having as such completed most of the hurdles of a dressing life for me what I have gained is a lot of confidence when I am out compared to before.
    It is so easy for someone to say "Just do it" but it does take courage, depending on what it is, and for some it is just not achievable.
    Yes I am fortunate to have my GF, it could so easily have gone the other way when I first told her that I dressed, but it did not and now i have my very own fashion guru.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Bobbi,
    I agree those three words are sometimes easier said than done .

    One question do you find it easier with a supportive partner rather than by yourself . Sometimes I give myself a kick up the rear end and tell myself , " Just do it !" but I don't always see all the consequences . Usually there's no real harm done and the fears are all inside our own heads .
    The real me ,no going back.

  16. #16
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    "It has been said many times "they have seen everything" referring to Police, Fire and the medical profession, this last one was the final hurdle I had to conquer. "


    Hi Bobbi.

    Way back in 2013 the wife and I were in a fairly serious car accident. Wife was driving and I was in the passenger seat. As we sat there waiting to be rescued, we were both conscious and relatively OK. Beat up, bruised, but conscious and aware of what was going on.

    We were sitting there for about 15 minutes before the firetrucks, police, and ambulance arrived. At one point it dawned on me. I wear panties 24/7, and yes I have a pair on. There was no escaping this scenario. I mentioned it to the wife and she said "they've seen everything". None the less it's on my mind. I'm going to be outed to a number of people today. I'm pretty much helpless and in the hands of strangers.

    Well we get to the hospital and that's when things get uncovered. They have me doped up pretty good (semi-conscious). At one point the male-nurse decides it's time to get me into a hospital gown (I still have my blue jeans on at this point). I tried to warn him but it must have come out as mumbling, he totally ignored me. Whoosh, down come the jeans. There was a pregnant pause followed by an "OH!". I was so doped up I didn't remember much after that for about half an hour.

    Ended up I had a broken neck. There were several consultations with the doctors. The neuro-surgeon wanted to operate that day. Big decision, I could end up dead, paralyzed, or perfectly fine. I decided to go for it. All turned out well and I was walking around the next day. Whew.

    I'm guessing something was written on my chart about my dressing habits. There were a couple of occurrences where there seemed to be a little extra attention was paid to what I was wearing. I wore my panties throughout the whole hospital stay. Never a negative remark.

    I guess they have seen it all.
    Last edited by sweetdreams; 11-06-2020 at 06:54 AM.
    Why fit in when you were born to stand out? - Dr. Suess

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Humans have a tendency to create scenarios based on "What if" assumptions. That can even become a debilitating condition that drives deep depression and even suicidal thoughts. Been there, done that - but not much anymore. The "what if" questions are a good thing that comes from our high degree of intelligence and consciousness, provided they are not irrational.

    However, we also have a tendency to latch on to the scenario that results in the most tension and is the most terrible. That is irrational. Many of us habitually do that and it results in driving fear in doing new things which is actually useful because that helps keep us from doing stupid things that could kill us. Fear of a bad consequence sometimes saves your life. Unfortunately, when that tendency spreads to common daily things that we fear will turn out bad we tend to immobilize ourselves. There is a clear boundary between the rational "what if" and the irrational "what if" but the boundary is hard to see when you are buried in the "what if" thinking.

    The beauty of the "Just Do It" switch in thinking allows us to extend our experiences into rich and gratifying realizations. Another way to approach some things is to ask "What is really the worst that would likely happen?" That allows our thinking to rank different possibilities on the probability of it happening and that opens doors to realizing that even if something undesirable happens it will last only a few moments, we will not drop dead with embarrassment, and it could turn into something that is actually humorous which almost always reduces fear.

    Your GF is a very wise person who wants you to be comfortable with who you are perhaps because she sees that you are happiest when you are you. In a sense she is saying "Even if something undesirable happens I will still be here to support you." That is called Love. Nothing irrational about that.

    Congratulations on your new experience.

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Grtechen,
    Sorry to drift off subject slightly but your comments suddenly brought to mind the "What if !" when I had just started skiing and found myself standing at the top of a " Black run " after I'd taken the wrong chair lift and no other obvious way of descending . The term to "shush down " took on a whole new meaning , I did make it down and to partly coin the James Bond comment I was truly " Shaken and stirred !" That first beer after tasted so good !

    On a more serious point the distinction between the rational and irrational is very blurred sometimes . Why do we take that first drive or the first walk ? We don't know it at the time but the next time is easier . Why do we juggle with the risk of losing close family and friends ?
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-07-2020 at 06:43 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Teresa, re your second paragraph, I think the answer to what you are saying is that there comes a time in ones "evolution" which gets to a point where one cannot hide their feelings anymore, or has reached a point in their life where they realise that dressing is in fact a huge part of their life and they dont want/cannot go back to previous ways and therfore have to come out.

    This is how it has been with me, yes their was a huge risk in losing my kids but as things turned out that did not happen, my daughter is a huge supporter of me and my life now, my son not as much, but he maybe in the future, time will tell.

    But my GF has been the best help in enabling me to overcome some of my fears, "just do it" is a good slogan to utilise when one is unsure about something but knows deep down that it has to be done.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

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