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Thread: A lonely burden

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    I completely relate and understand...and I have to confess that, while I've longed for a cd girlfriend to just hang with and have even met some that I could see myself potentially having that kind of relationship, I have also been the one that flakes on them. Part of it I think relates to how "out" we are willing to be. I know for me I can, when the pink fog rolls in very heavy, talk a big game about being out and going out and so on (all pre pandemic of course), but when the fog dissipates a little or I get a sense of what life might be like if my bubble bursts, I panic. It sounds like you are out way more than I am, Nicole, which probably makes it feel even more lonesome in a way. Most of us take two steps forward and eight steps back into the closet, and so that's how I justify being the flake (to myself). But if you're out and so many of us can't or won't join you there, it's gotta be tough. Sorry girlfriend

  2. #27
    silicone member Danielle_cder's Avatar
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    You n me both....
    the only limit that u set, is the one u set yourself.

  3. #28
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
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    Hmm,
    Just a thought,--hobbies, there 's no section on here for hobbies(bet someone will prove me wrong...) perhaps thats the way to go. On another site i belong to quite a few are interested in model railways--no way could i join --our Loco weighs 400+lbs........
    Liz
    Last edited by Liz Jones; 11-08-2020 at 12:46 PM.

  4. #29
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Felt the same for many years of being in the closet.
    Then at last I came out to my wife and found her full acceptance. It's wonderful being able to be me whenever and have someone to share things with but it's not the same as having someone who truly understands what it's like. Then we found a support group and I became close with one of the ladies. We would go shopping and to dinner or just hang, sometimes video chat as we didn't live that close. It was so much better.
    Now we have moved to a rural area, Covid has disrupted everything and it's back the way it was. We all crave interaction but it's just that difference that makes it better. Having someone you don't have to explain anything to because they've lived it.
    Hope you find someone to fill that need. I'll keep looking also.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  5. #30
    Member LydiaL's Avatar
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    Same problem here xNicolex,

    Hard to find other cders as no adequate or accomodating venues for us to meet up in this area. So yes, lonely for sure.

    L

  6. #31
    Happy in Heels xNicolex's Avatar
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    Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement 😘 I'll keep looking in the grand scheme of things I feel as if I'm being selfish, but life doesn't allow us to let time go by wasted without regret. So make the most of it 😘

  7. #32
    Silver Member
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    As do you, I have many friends on this site, and when I need, I'll PM a few of them just to see how they are doing. There are 3 who I'd class as good friends. I've met all 3, and we chat/PM.Try doing that.

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member KymG's Avatar
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    Hi Nicole,
    I know how you are feeling.
    My dressing is an extremely lonely existence and i would love to be able to chill with someone else. Nothing sexual, just chill time in dresses.
    I have mates to hang with but they wouldnt appreciate it. They know but its rarely discussed, which makes me sad but hey.
    Do your friends know you dress?
    Chin up, you look amazing.

    Kym

  9. #34
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    What, exactly, are you looking for? "Sharing a beer with a mate..." while you're both crossdressed seems a little... undeveloped as an idea. I mean... why go to all the trouble if it's just two blokes sharing a pint?
    Are you looking for commiseration? In that case, a support group is probably a better idea.
    Looking to spend "girl time" with other TG friends? Sounds like you may have more going on than just crossdressing. Not saying that's bad. Not at all, but I know that it can be a difficult leap, to the understanding that there is a need to interact with others as a woman.

    And of course, Covid-19 has put a damper on almost any kind of opportunity for any of that. Our Houston GNO group has been dormant for months. I've gotten together with some of them on a regular Zoom meeting that one of them has organized, but it's pale imitation of dinner with the girls.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  10. #35
    Member nancy58's Avatar
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    It's a great help when one can find other people to be with. One of my best experiences was going to a transgender conference where everyone was like me (or the female-to-male complement). There used to be a support group near me, and the monthly meetings were a way for me to enjoy this side of my personality. (My wife knows but wants no part of it, which has been a bit of a problem since we have been stuck home together since March.) There seem to be Meetup groups now, which could be an outlet.

    I really vote with the suggestions to go out with your girlfriend if she's willing to share this with you. It's a stressor on the relationship when one partner has a very powerful interest that isn't shared by the other, and the more you can share together, the happier you'll be.
    Nancy
    "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving

  11. #36
    Silver Member
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    I've had friends of both sexes who know about me. Most are women since I have more in common with them. I've gone fishing with guys wearing a bra and women's top and shorts. Nothing was said. I've had one guy tell me he didn't care what I liked to wear. He enjoyed my friendship. He is very strait as I am. It doesn't take women long to notice my preference for fem clothes.

    The thing about me is I like people, but if they don't like me that is OK with me. I've lived all over and found people like people who like them. You can push too far, but that goes for all relationships.

  12. #37
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    Hi Nicole. I know exactly how you feel. I am in that same boat over here on the other side of the BIG pond. I too also have two understanding GG people. One of then a local GG who has no interest in doing the pub or town thing with me. The other GG (DarkAnGGel) is about 95 miles (150K) north of here. There is one CD near here that I just can't get our schedules to match. All I can do is offer a bit of chat.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  13. #38
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
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    Hi,
    Since you are in Ireland (dont know which side ) perhaps this might be of interest,-https://www.flickr.com/groups/sparkle05/
    Sorry to say not a lot of info on when they hope to restart but there again the Gmnt dont have any idea ether....
    Liz

  14. #39
    Silver Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xNicolex View Post
    Hi girls,

    Frist of all I'm so sorry if this sounds like drama rama. I don't mean it to sound anything like that. I'm just find myself lonely in my dressing. I have my GF who I am so grateful for, but I long for a friend I can chill with, have a beer with and then go put some make up on with and have a girls night, basically another like minded individual that enjoys the same things I enjoy. I've got mates that I can hang out with but a night out in dress isn't their thing lol again I'm not moaning I'm just feeling a little low. I feel I need to vent a little. I just feel so suffocated sometimes not being able to express my feelings sometimes. Anyone else ever feel that longing for comradeship?
    I am 100% feeling the same way. I need women to go out with. So far my wife will not do it. And she opposes me from seeking other women who would.

    Natalie

  15. #40
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    I think that Covid isolation is affecting everyone and that many things that would not be much of an issue is a normal year are amplified by the current situation. I had a CD friend I would go dress with once every other month or so but she ghosted me in April after getting together on and off for a couple years. I would go for six or eight hours and hang around dressed. She offered to accept my deliveries and even put up another CD friend I had never met when she had issues at home. We were drab friends on social media and had even talked about traveling to an air show which was something she enjoyed in drab. We had talked about driving there dressed which would have helped me to break the ice.

    Then I got an email stating that she was taking some time off and she even stopped posting on her social media. I don?t know what happened, illness, a change of heart about dressing or perhaps taking on a room mate or moving in with relatives. I can only speculate but Covid puts everything on hold as far as looking for new friends. My friendship with her was a unique one that I expect to ever happen again.

    On a positive note I think that when this virus runs it?s course crossdressers and everyone else will be chomping at the bit to get out and mingle. I think it might be easier to find people who share common interests and want to get out and do things when that time comes.

  16. #41
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    I don't know what kind of current restrictions there may be regarding this lockdown stuff. So, YMMV.

    But...


    From past personal experience?

    Drag bars/clubs. And drag nights/competitions at LGBT places.

    Why? For the simple reason: That's where plenty of folks like us (as well as our allies) may socialize!


    And these venues really do run the gamut, in terms of patrons, environments & vibes.

    Really something out there for everyone. No matter what your age, your personality, your tastes.



    Years ago I had become friendly with an extroverted openly-gay male co-worker -- who also happened to be a drag queen & well-versed in the whole scene.

    S/he really opened the doors for me, to a whole universe out there... One which I never previously knew existed in such a broad & diversified scope.


    Gay, bi, straight, CD's, TG's, NB's, TS's, cis, males, GG's, young, old, etc. Every demographic was represented (some more than others, of course. )


    And yes, this friend of mine was so confident, so extroverted, so experienced... That yes, we in my new-found social circle even frequented vanilla hetero places that were known to be friendly to "our kind."


    It was a heck of a time. And I'm forever grateful for having all those experiences & meeting all these people.


    Get out there!

  17. #42
    Silver Member daviolin's Avatar
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    Nicolex. Don't feel lonely. Embrace the day. Can't your GF be your soulmate in thick and thin? I used to go out a lot. I had my day in the sun. Now I'm a stay at home dresser and loving it. Why can't you and your friend have girls night out? Just my thought. And may godspeed you to joy. Daviolin
    [SIZE="6"]
    [/SIZE]
    A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.

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