"Gender fluid"!?

[cindylouho]

@4484381my favorite fancy new term is "demi-sexual", which is defined as "only feeling attracted to someone you have a deep emotional connection with." Umm, when I was growing up that was called "falling in love." LOL.

Seriously? Demi-sexual, that's a thing? Hilarious. Thanks for that.

[Sometimes Steffi]

For instance, what is the difference between bisexual, and pansexual?

I think that one of the problems is that the term aren't all well defined.

For example, in biologic taxonomy, you have Koala Bears, Panda Bears, Polar Bears and Grizzly Bears. Are they all Bears. Not quite. Koala Bears are marsupials. Panda Bears are more closely related to red pandas, raccoons, otters and skunks than true (Ursa) bears.

In the same way, the taxonomy of LGBTQ+ is also unclear in many areas.

The difference between Bisexual and Pansexual (IMHO): Bisexuals (bi meaning 2) are attracted to (only) (manly) men or (feminine) women. Pansexuals (pan meaning all) are attracted to the entire spectrum of men and women and anything in between. I know a GG who classifies herself as pansexual and married a MtF transexual.

Another anomaly. What is the definition of bisexual? Think about a GG married to a man who had a romantic GF in college. If you've only had one same sex romantic relationship, are you forever Bi? How many opposite sex romantic relationships do you need to become hetero (again)?

I think this thread does more to divide us than unify us, and I think that we should be unified on the spectrum.

[vanphair]

I think the phrase "distinction without a difference" comes to mind re bi vs pan.

Then again, for some people it's a critical distinction and so if that's how they want to be referred to, it's no skin off my nose. As long as I don't get "cancelled" for saying the wrong thing!

[docrobbysherry]

--------------------------------
Another anomaly. What is the definition of bisexual? Think about a GG married to a man who had a romantic GF in college. If you've only had one same sex romantic relationship, are you forever Bi? How many opposite sex romantic relationships do you need to become hetero (again)?---------------------------

My ex who left me for women, a few later announced she was gay, Steffi. When I asked her why she never told me she was bi, she replied:

"I told u I had a fling with a girlfriend in college."

So, apparently one affair CAN change your sexual orientation!

[Jean 103]

Good greef

So you started with a question about gender fluid.

They did a good job about defining it. It has to do with how you see yourself.

I use it or it has been used to describe how I represent. They are not always the same.

It is a very confusing thing. I don't spend anytime thinking about it as it is not a problem for me. No one I know on the street cares about this stuff.

Honestly I don't feel like any gender. I prefer to represent female. So I live as Jean, I only do guy mode for work, and I'm out, they know.

I'm also BI as are both of my boyfriend's.

For me the equipment really just doesn't matter. It has to do with the person and how they see me. I know again, no one cares and very confusing.

To simplify my life I have chosen to only date men.

Yes I have turned down women including a proposal for marriage.

And I don't care I'm wearing white if I ever get married again.

[Brianne_bc]

I have no idea what label Ide have. I love women and the idea of a very pretty tgirl also gets me going. Im into femininity.

[GretchenM]

Thank you Jean. I think you have expressed it well. It is a personal thing and the label we apply doesn't really define us because most people don't understand what the labels mean any more than they can relate to what we feel and experience. Cisgender people are often very confused when we describe that gender variability we can experience in our daily lives. I often wonder how in the world cisgender people get along sensing only one narrow part of the gender spectrum. I catch myself thinking, "That must be really boring." Yet for them it certainly is not. It is easy for both of us to live the life we live because that is who we are and there are no rules that say anybody has to understand how someone else actually, really feels. It all kind of goes back to the title of that immensely popular book "I'm OK, You're OK." In other words don't be judgemental just because you don't understand what makes someone else do what they do. They probably don't actually understand what it is that make you do what you do either.

Therein lies the problem with labels - they assume you know, quite precisely, what the label means. I think Doc's (Sherry's) original question represents just that kind of thing. What does gender fluid mean? It really is a confusing label because our society is so locked into the idea that gender is "fixed" according to the gender binary concept that has been used for the last few thousand years. Yet in all that time there certainly were people that experienced a kind of "fluid" shifting of their gender identity - they just kept it a secret. It existed without a label. It probably goes back to our most distant ancestors maybe 150,000 years ago.

I imagine two early humans who have a common language, both are male. One asks, "I am just curious. Why in the world do you sometimes act so much like a girl? It is really creepy." The other answers, "I have no idea. It is just the way I am. But I could ask you why you don't do that?" The first says, "Because I don't feel that way." The second the says, "Huh. I guess we just feel differently. So, maybe that is all there is to it. We are different in that way."

We are all different and we all feel different things regarding our gender or our sexuality or how we feel when we see something that is of a particular color or shape or whatever. It is just the way it is. We can all learn from it even though we may never be able to truly understand each other.

[Alice Torn]

I know i have always been different. Even as a little child, I was different,and bullied at shools, and at home by siblings. I am different, and not sure why, and a Highly Sensitive. Has made my life torture and torment. I do not fit in anywhere well,and have few close friends, and no SO, and at age 66, like being alone now.

[Rachelakld]

While a guy and even a tomboy might enjoy floral arrangements, give them a chance to work on an engine and I guess the flowers will be forgot very quickly - this would be non fluid for me.
My trans friend "could fix a car engine" but hated the thought of getting her nails dirty - again, non fluid

The ultimate fluid for me, would be a black belt karate lumberjack, crossdressed in ultra fem clothing and enjoying needle point.

[Ressie]

Well Rachel, I've added tranny fluid to my car before without getting my hands too dirty!

[Deborah2B]

Sherry I know that I am off topic but do you know where the phrase "the whole 9 yards" came from? Here is the answer for you. In WWII British pilots would fly over to Germany and shoot at things with the machine guns in their airplanes. When they would come back from a mission the ground crews would ask them how their mission went. The pilots would answer "I gave them the whole nine yards". The reason they said that was because the ammo chain for their machine guns were nine yards long.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Hmm ... I always thought the whole 9 (cubic) yards was what a fully loaded dump truck could carry. So, when you said that you wanted the whole 9 (cubic) yards, you wanted the dump truck to empty its full load.

[jacques]

My 2 cents:
Like water is fluid, it flows the easiest path effortlessly....

Water always flows down hill - it never goes uphill.

[Alexis00]

So, are generfluid and sexual identity related, or unrelated?

[docrobbysherry]

An excellent question, Alexis! Not being fluid in either one? I really don't know! Maybe someone who is will reply?

[Sometimes Steffi]

I consider myself gender fluid. Wen I'm out, say at the grocery store, I often admire what women are wearing, like their necklace or nail polish. Sometime, I'm even brave enough to talk to them about it. And, that's the key. boy me pins the scale on introversion, but Steffi is an extrovert. So, when "I" start a conversation with some random GG in the grocery store, it's not boy me who's having the discussion, but Steffi. Only Steffi would go up to some random stranger and start a conversation,

So, I can switch back and forth from boy to girls in a few minutes. When Steffi is "out and about", she looks like and act's like a girl, but one who is still attracted to GGs. There was one time where Steffi actually asked a GG out on a date. There was another time when Steffi kissed a GG a few time in a bar.