I have started that I don't really have any problems with how I live. I work in guy mode and live as Jean, pretty simple. I'm out, but I do my best to stick to this.
This morning at work I get handed a couple papers. I see a thank you card. It is from a customer, nice but nothing really.
There is another piece of paper, an invitation to the company Christmas party. They have never had one before, and it is at a new house that they just completed, this is a big deal.
And I'm crying because I can't go. I have been crying ever sense I read it.yes tears running down my face all day at work.
First I have no guy clothes, just company t-shirts. Even if I manage to some how try and do guy mode in a social setting. The last time I tried it, well I cryed the whole time.
If I go in a dress, it will end up being all about me. That part I can handle.
I grew up with the owner and his two brothers, lived across the street. So they see me as a guy. At work that is fine it doesn't bother me.
But to be in a party dress, and I have meny to choose from, and have a room full of people miss gendering me. I will not be able to handle that.
All I can come up with is quit or send flowers.
I guess I do have problems.
Love Jean
