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Thread: The silliness of it all

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    East Yorkshire UK
    hello Vamphair,
    You are correct - clothing rules are silly. Where do the come from? who voted for them? Can we have a recount, please?
    And why do I spend so much of my time worrying about flouting those silly rules?
    stay healthy,
    luv J

  2. #27
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    I don’t know why societal expectations have been so strict when it comes to conforming to the norms established for our sex.

    But, things are looking up! Consider that gendered norms used to include the right to own property, vote, education, the choice of professional careers, and roles inside the home. These gendered differences have all but disappeared! Now women can inherit, vote, attain post graduate degrees, choose any career they want and be successful at it, and men can share household and child rearing responsibilities with their working wives without being looked at negatively by society as a whole.

    The last barrier is clothing and presentation, but the gendered gap there is also narrowing. Lots of guys have long hair now, they can pierce their ears, there are cosmetic products for men (products that bronze skin, hide gray hair, exfoliate the skin, etc). And the gendered clothing gap has also narrowed considerably. So many fashion choices are now worn equally by men AND women as to make these clothes gender neutral: blue jeans, cargo pants, Tshirts, buttoned dress shirts, flannel shirts, hoodies, sneakers, loafers, to name a few. I bet you could buy most of your clothes in the ladies’ section of a department store and no one would know you were wearing women’s clothes!

    The only thing that’s looked down upon is a male wearing things that women have been socialized to wear in order to appeal to men, such as skirts, dresses, heels, elaborate makeup, glitzy jewelry, etc.

  3. #28
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    It's just all so weird to me how things can be "gendered" - I mean there was even an episode of The Office where Michael "accidentally crossdresses" and people know because his buttons were on the wrong side. You are all correct that society is, thankfully, changing. And these things are more and more acceptable. It is just weird and a little tiring that one may have to regularly explain to people why I dress the way I do, versus people just noticing and moving on.

    And Di, yes, undressing is part of my identity. Most of it can be kept personal, but as we all know it's not always hidden. People can certainly notice a bra under a golf shirt, t-shirt etc. And for this, I'm more referring to my increased interest/desire to wear blouses. Honestly, I've discovered how pretty and stylish they can be, and I really like it. So it's a different level of dressing than I've discussed before.

    Like I said just commenting/venting!

  4. #29
    1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Over the last couple of years, skinny pants for men have become very popularly worn. Some look like leggings! That worn with a hooded top versus a woman wearing leggings and a hooded top - they look exactly the same.

    So Harry Styles ( formerly of 1-Direction ) became the first male featured on the cover of Vogue magazine. He is reported to identify himself as cis male. I didn't see the pics, but if the report is to be believed, he wore a dress.

    Ben Shapiro, conservative commentator, whined that it was a "referendum on masculinity" .

    Obviously it wasn't - Mr. Styles said he wore it because it looked 'cool'. That's it. But even if it were a referendum on masculinity, . . in view of what we heard after the Harvey Weinstein revelations of what's occurring in our everyday society . . as though such a referendum is not urgently and desperately needed .

    ( I really wish Harry Styles would have said: "because it looked . . 'style-ish'" . Oh, well! 😞 ). Nevertheless, I would think some young people of his generation are going to take their cue from that - especially if famous fashion designers see an opportunity to work with him in future and promote visibility of that presentation.

    Article: Harry Styles Wore A Dress on the Cover of Vogue.

    . . . But as we have recurrently seen on these boards, this community doesn't support that. Because people like him 'make it more difficult for the rest' . Wanna talk about silliness? .

    - L.

  5. #30
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    I am guessing here that you are still young (under 50).

    I can only speak from significant personal experience. I am old, so I passed the threshold where I stopped worrying about what the general public thinks of me. I, of course, still care about what loved ones think of me.

    I have very often been out in the public eye, in front of tens of thousands of people, in very mainstream situations, well over 600 times.

    If you are smart about where you go, dress appropriately for your age, body type and the outing/venue and you are confident, you will experience exactly no issues. No one will worry about what you are wearing, no one will care. Frankly, I have experienced nothing but either outright acceptance or nonchalance.

    Now if you choose to dress in a manner different than a woman your age or you are in places where our "kind" may not be welcomed, than you may have problems.

    Much of the perceived difficulties to going out is all in our heads. Any one here that has gone out frequently will concur.
    Pictures and stories of every time out:

    Google "Kandi's Land" and visit my blog for positive and uplifting posts!

  6. #31
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    I totally agree with you but it doesn't happen overnight . Like you I just want to get out in the RW and meet people .

    I did have to think about your age comments , I found the biggest problem is if you stand still too long someone comes and sprays you with wood preservative !

    Seriously I don't feel old , once I get on the dance floor I usually dance the night away , OK my feet feel ten years older the next morning !
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-21-2020 at 04:19 PM.
    The real me , no going back.

  7. #32
    Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Good point. They are much more open about this in Europe. Even the US has very different views between city and rural areas. When I comment about my area it?s from the perspective of someone who has never know anything else besides what it?s like where I live. Fifty miles would put me in downtown Minneapolis and an entirely different situation. I am so small town that I don?t feel comfortable in towns of more that ten or twenty thousand. Not an ideal phobia for a crossdresser to have but it was nearly seventy years in the making.

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Las Vegas Nevada
    The key is to say damn the rules and norms and do as you wish. You are right in saying you are not hurting anyone and you are not breaking any laws. So to those who find issue with it, let them nothing you can do. I am to the point the only time I wear men's wear is when I'm more likely then not to destroy the clothes I have on. This is only to prevent me from ruining some thing cute. I do have a few women's items I dont care about ruining but not many.

  9. #34
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    The north Wirral ( near Liverpool ) U.K.
    I only found out today that the flap on the fly of mens trousers opens on the opposit side to womans , not a major problem till you are in a hurry......

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Does that mean lefties like me can use that as an excuse for crossdressing?

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