Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 61

Thread: Going out dressed with your wife (or SO)

  1. #1
    Member Misty_cder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    101

    Going out dressed with your wife (or SO)

    Hey ladies,

    I have a question for those of you who have the ability to go out in public with your wives, or significant other. How did you approach her/him with the idea? My wife accepts my dressing but does not agree with me presenting in public. I know I am a MIAD and this is one of her reasons for not agreeing with the idea. I've approached the idea of wearing more unisex clothing as a starting point with her and did not get any resistance. Hopefully with more makeup training, I can get to a passible state and go out dressed.

  2. #2
    Member cindylouho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    312
    I'm at the planning stage for that myself. I've nonchalantly discussed it with my wife, so it isn't a shock. I'd personally ask her to go out of town with me on a sexy little vacation where you would be there as Misty.
    Be the best you, be the true you.
    That said, I love faceapp so much I change my avatar daily

    https://giphy.com/gifs/l0MYEWpv7Ue0RFVaE/html5

  3. #3
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,089
    Misty,
    I appreciate it's a hard decision to make for a wife/partner . Do you go out as a couple of ladies or does she stop short and suggest you are a husband so it's MIAD mode or nothing .

    Have you been out in public on your own if so how does she feel about it assuming she knows ?

    A good way to break the ice is see if she will join you at a social group , that way you can chat to other CDers and she may want to chat with their wives , I know some wives enjoy the outings as much as their partners because it's a safer situation and less pressure if you don't get things right .

  4. #4
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    4,411
    I don't think I ever "aproched" my wife about going out. She was always accepting and when I asked how she felt about going out she basically said "If you are comfortable going out in public, I am too.".

    In fact she was a lot more comfortable than I was in the early days and would actually encourage me to dress.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 11-17-2020 at 10:33 PM.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,513
    Yeah, I don’t know that there’s a way to “convince” her. Women generally are either accepting in their SO, or they aren’t. My wife was open to it from the get-go, and even more so once I transitioned to Drag. Sorry, there’s no magic bullet. She may change her mind over time, but honestly there’s not really much you can do. If her main issue is that you’re a MIAD, then work on your presentation to make yourself more “passable”.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    946
    My wife went out with me after my first makeover; we were in Vegas. I told her about my dressing on our second or third date and she was accepting. I don’t think, however, she realized how good I would look lol. I?m not trying to brag but I have a petite body and some nice feminine features. So we did go out to dinner but she was not really comfortable. No problem; I appreciate her support and respect her feelings. As an aside; after my makeover she had to get ready so I went to the hotel bar for a drink. I had a short skirt on. There were two couples at a table next to the bar. I heard one of the men say “I think she?s a hooker? ��

  7. #7
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,513
    Are you taking the hooker comment as a positive?

  8. #8
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    8,283
    Maybe the answer is not wear a dress or a skirt. Most "GGs" don't wear them today unless it is a semi-formal function.
    So bite the bullet and go for a nice slack outfit. Whatever you wear, try to get wife's OK before going outside. Good Luck.
    Rader

  9. #9
    Sunshine Gal AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    1,695
    There was no convincing, my wife eventually made the decision that if she supported me then she would venture out with me, too. I was rather shocked at first but it really led to opening up her feelings about me dressed and we now have some pretty amazing times together. Sometimes all that is missing is enough time passing.

  10. #10
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    NE
    Posts
    1,010
    i dream of that but don't hold out any hope it will ever happem.
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/

  11. #11
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    22,164
    U mite try explaining if you're out with her? It's like a "get out of jail free" card in Monopoly!

    MIAD's alone r thot to be pervs by some. But, with your SO, they won't bat an eye!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  12. #12
    Junior Member Sherry Ann Evans's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    85
    I told my current GF that I'm bi and a CD, on the phone, before we even met. She was awesome about it. Now it's been two years and we have a great relationship! I was nervous the first time that we went out with me dressed (after we became a couple) because I feared that she would respect me less as the man underneath. That fear proved unfounded. Now when we go out with me dressed, we're both relaxed. Her only request, which is perfectly reasonable, is that "Sherry" is a once-in-a-while thing, not an all-the-time thing. I feel the same way so it's great. Lesson: be honest and if she's against it then move on.

  13. #13
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    3,189
    My wife wouldn't go for it now. There was a time maybe 30yrs ago went out a few times to support groups and a drag ball but since then she has changed I think the MIAD is the reason, understandable
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  14. #14
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,268
    been out once with the wife, she thought everyone was staring at her and judging her.
    So it's a no from my wife
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  15. #15
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    France, Villessot near St Christophe
    Posts
    2,528
    Being dressed 24/7 now, life for me feels so very normal, dressing in the morning is almost a subconcious thing because I dress every day. Now going out with my girlfriend, who has known about my dressing and is totally accepting, presents no problems between us whatsoever, or to any body that sees us together, even on my own, dressing and being outside amongst the populace is like any other normal day
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  16. #16
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,089
    AngelaYVR,
    From our angle we see very little wrong with being out as a couple , how you describe is really how it should be but possibly not as Angela1954 descibes it . No I wouldn't wear a miniskirt if it suggested being a hooker good figure or not , it wasn't fair on the wife .

    Bobbi,
    You make a good point about finding the comfort zone when it becomes full time , if the partner knows there isn't an alternative but I will add the comment I made about my daughter , she has to trust you not to let her down in public .

  17. #17
    Administrator Di's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    SouthEastern Ontario
    Posts
    14,452

    More harm if it is not something she wants to do.

    Like others have said you cannot convince her. It is either something she would enjoy or not.
    To force the issue would do more harm. She has to see it as a fun thing not something stressful.Untill she gets there the only thing I would do is just let her know someday you would like to do that. Untill then
    You could start small maybe take a drive together and besides now during a pandemic there is not really not anywhere to go.
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  18. #18
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Southeast WI.
    Posts
    1,648
    My wife and I have gone out and we have had some very nice times. Movies, dinner, shopping and even a plays. (This is not a weekly event) How did I ask, I told her how happy it would make me. The harder you push for it the less likely it happens. Now what to watch out for after you go out. (I have made many of these mistakes)
    Of course dress for the occasion (dress like she does when she goes shopping)
    I found out early that pictures not a good Idea. (think about it how many times do you see ladies taking picture in a mall)
    You have to of course plan your day but I learned not to let her see how much planning it take for us to go out.
    Go as far away from home so she feels comfortable not to run into someone she (we) might know.
    My goal is to have fun however my bigger goal is that she has fun.
    Good luck and have fun.

  19. #19
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    2,343
    Lots of good advice here. I would add: don't expect your SO to be your personal photographer in public unless that's a role that she is comfortable with. Some malls have rules against taking pictures inside (don't know why, but we have been approached by security at one particular mall). Don't make a shopping trip all about finding items for just you. Relax, and just have fun as if it's a date.

  20. #20
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,089
    Connie,
    While I haven't been out with my wife some of your comments are just as valid for the times when I go out with my daughter .

    1) Still dress appropriately
    2) Pictures , very true how many ladies do you see taking selfies when out shopping .
    3) Have a basic plan and also have a plan B , my daughter has special dietry needs so I usually check if they have lactose free and gluten free items .
    4) Distance has never been a problem although I did ask if it might create a problem if we bumped into some of her friends , simple reply , " Why should it ?"
    5) Have fun , I agree otherwise why do it , I've been to comedy shows and pantomimes with her and her daughter and had a wonderful time .
    6) Maybe add expect the unexpected , like the time we were crossing the car park to an out of town store and got caught in a downpour , the show must go on as they say !

    Di makes the important point don't force them to do it , eventually they may surprise you with an offer you can't refuse .

  21. #21
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    1,115
    Thank you Di and Char. It is most illuminating to hear the GG woman's perspective. There is a difference between a female's view and a male's view on this, not matter how you cut it. They can converge in a big way, but they can't merge. That very early childhood impact when girls and boys are treated differently has an oversize impact on us and those genetic differences also remain. Thanks again.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    946
    I did not have a miniskirt on. It was a short dress. I?ll find the picture and post it here.

  23. #23
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    21,130
    Rather than merely echoing the observations of others, I would like to ask a question. Have any of your SOs levels of acceptance evolved from DADT to willingly (as opposed to grudgingly) going out with you?
    The years to come seemed waste of breath,
    A waste of breath the years behind

  24. #24
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    NEPA
    Posts
    8,938
    After coming out to my wife and lots of discussion I told her that after all the years of being trapped in the closet I wanted to venture out into the world dressed.
    She was apprehensive at first with worries of "what if a cop stops us". I said what if? We're not breaking any laws. Then I found support groups and asked that we try a meeting. Again she said "what if we see someone we know". I said what if? Will that person run to our friends and say "guess who I saw at our crossdressers meeting Saturday". I think not.
    Then once at the group we were asked to go post-meeting to the local diner. There were 6 or 8 or us and we became part of that. It was amazing how the people at the diner treated us like stars. The manager would greet us warmly, the staff would almost argue over who's area we should sit in that night.
    Anyway, we began going out frequently shopping and to dinner. My wife always said that she wanted to go "even if it's just to call 9-1-1 if something happened". I had to remind her she didn't have a cell phone at the time and mine would be in my purse so that would be problematic.
    Now we just go everywhere.
    At first I was shy and there were the usual side glances and giggles. People for the most part have a difficult time saying anything to your face. I found that if you just present yourself like you belong there, being confident and just going about your business few people really care. Hold your head up, dress for the venue and be proud.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  25. #25
    Member Misty_cder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    101
    Thanks everyone for their input. To address a few questions:

    - I have not gone out in public dress in full girl mode. I did go out once wearing women's jeans and heals to fill up the car with gas late one evening.
    - I have not asked my wife directly if she would be willing to go out in a different town. Knowing her, that probably means taking a trip to Vegas if we were to do it. She's always concerned about running into someone we know.

    I'm looking into support groups where wives attend but have not discussed this option with my wife yet.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State