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Thread: Where You Fall on the Spectrum

  1. #1
    Total Dork GwenHerself's Avatar
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    Nov 2020
    Boone, NC

    Where You Fall on the Spectrum

    Someone mentioned that crossdressing is like a spectrum. I hadn't really considered that it might be different for everyone. What scratches your "itch"? Do you just want to wear feminine clothes? Do you want to have a feminine body shape? Feminine walk? Act like a woman? Would you be satisfied wearing male clothes with traditionally feminine patterns and fabrics?

    Just curious...

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
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    Aug 2013
    Northern Georgia
    I am a heterosexual crossdresser, who crossdresses almost daily, but keeps it limited.
    I'm not very masculine and I never felt a need to develop a feminine alter-ego.
    While I crossdress on most days, I don't do it in public. It's very private for me. No one but my wife knows I crossdress.
    While I would like to pass as a woman, that isn't physically possible.
    I keep my crossdressing limited to my wife's tolerances. She respects my needs, and I respect hers.
    Currently, my wardrobe is limited to skirts, dresses, slips, and nightgowns - my style is feminine sophisticated/classy (not sexy).
    When I crossdress my personality doesn't change. I really don't change at all.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Aug 2013
    No interest in transitioning, I just enjoy wearing women's clothing and trying, but failing to look as feminine as possible. I pad and compress, wearing shapers, bras with forms and do what I can to get this old guy body looking like it belongs in a dress. I dress any where from fairly "normal" dresses that a woman might wear out to a social function, to bodycon dresses, tight skirts, bright colors and faux leather that most women would not wear. I like to play dress up. I don't venture out of the house. Extremely happily married, I have a very forgiving and about 95% accepting wife so I dress as I please and when I please. Once in a while she askes if I can be her hubby and skip the dressing, and I do. Gotta keep mama happy too! A very little part I can do to help her put up with her crazy hubby! I love her so much I just want to squish her!

  4. #4
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    I've travelled across the spectrum to accepting I'm TG who has socially transitioned which means I go out comfortably as Teresa full time , I've yet to finally decide if I have the need to go further along the spectrum .

    I could turn your descriptions around and say I no longer wish to crossdress as a man .

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I am a plain vanilla cross dresser. I do not wear hip or butt padding. I wear a bra with home made forms, i.e, water balloons. I recognize I have a male form and wear dresses that do not accentuate a lack of an hour glass (Barbie doll) shape. I do not own or wear any jeans/pants made for women. If I want to wear jeans, it's male jeans. I feel comfortable as a male, and, make into a nice sloppy comfortable guy. When it's Stephanie time, it's Stephanie time and not some half way mix. No desire to be a woman, although if I was a woman that would be fine with me.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member
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    Jan 2016
    When I figure it out I'll let you all know

  7. #7
    Member Brianne_bc's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    British Columbia
    Hypertactile and sensory processing difficulties.
    Last edited by Brianne_bc; 11-21-2020 at 12:40 AM.

    No Heel is Too High.... When it's Pointed at the Ceiling

  8. #8
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
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    Sep 2016
    I had to scratch myself raw (in your 'itch' analogy) before I figured it out.
    I'm dedicated now. One year HRT, and there's no going back.
    I fall on the Must Transition end of the CD spectrum. This isn't just dressing up (which I love). This is life.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nation's Capital
    I crossdress, always including clothes, and makeup, breast forms and a wig when going out.

    I'm heterosexual, in that I'm only attracted to women, when either male mode or female mode. I have to admit that I find many crossdressers and Mtf transexuals very attractive, but I recognize that many of them are still dudes under their clothes.

    I go out and about, sometimes alone, but mostly in groups. I have a lot of CD friends. I've met about 1/3 of my friends here FtF.

    When I'm out and about en femme, I try to be the most convincing girl that I can be. I won't go out as a MIAD. I cross my legs at the ankle and place my hands on my lap. Some girls here have only a few similar wigs. I have many wigs ranging in color from dark blonde to brown to auburn to red. Most of my wigs are longer, say from my shoulders to about half way does the back.

    Except for socks, I have more of every kind of women's clothing than she does, including dresses, skirts, evening gowns, wedding gowns, shoes, you name it.

    Honestly, I consider myself gender fluid. Boy me is an introvert, and Steffi is an extrovert. Whenever i do anything extroverted, it's Steffi, not boy me.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 12-06-2020 at 11:55 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  10. #10
    Junior Member Jacke's Avatar
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    Dec 2019
    I am a latecomer to the scene. It started with a party we had plans to attend. But I have found I enjoy dressing. It feels good, though I am not passable and I am comfortable with that. My wife is accepting and helpful. Right now she is the only one who knows. I do not believe it will go any farther, but who knows, the party might be rescheduled after Covid is controlled.

  11. #11
    Junior Member Stephanie_V's Avatar
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    Dec 2016
    Buffalo, NY
    Lately, the only time I'm in full male mode is at work (I wear panties though). As soon as I get home, it's out of work clothes and into hip pads, some body shaping wear and into female clothes. I've been growing my hair out for the last few years and have my ears pierced.
    I do most of my errands in girl mode. Quick makeup, maybe a few rolls of the curling iron. Put on a pair of jeggings, grab the purse and out the door I go

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Oct 2012
    I?m very much on the male end of the spectrum. I?ve never had a wig, breast forms, shoes or any other feminine accessories such as purses, jewelry or make up. Only a few times I have ?borrowed? lipstick and eyeliner when my wife has been gone. While I have underdressed quite frequently outside of the house, my dressing at home has been limited to on rare occasions, wearing a dress with all of the associated lingerie underneath. Never had the urge to transition nor have I had any interest in intimacy with another male. However, I have wanted to go to go to a transformation studio just to see how femme I could get.

  13. #13
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    I think you're referring to the spectrum under the transgender umbrella rather than cross dressing. 50 years ago there were transexuals and transvestites. Everything fit into those two little categories. Now days, the TG spectrum includes everything in between with many possibilities.

    Doing anything to make my appearance more fem has always been sexually arousing to me. The look and feel of women's clothes is most of it, yet it's also the makeup, wigs and jewelry. I don't feel that I'm trapped in a male's body per se, but sometimes I feel like transitioning and dressing en femme 24/7. From decades of self diagnosis, I guess I'm AGP.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    oshawa, ontario
    at age 65 i am slowly but surely drifting into the transsexual phase but to actually go all the way is almost impossible

  15. #15
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    I've moved along over time.

    When I was 4-7 I was convinced I should have been a girl. I would have started the process there and then if I'd had supportive parents who suggested it.

    When I was in my teens is became sexual, as everything can be at that age.

    In my 20s it became about passing and sexual.

    In my thirties I've accepted that I'm actually on the border of wanting to transition, and want to present as a female whenever possible.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    North Carolina
    Started out as a crossdresser! Now 24/7 transwoman! My only advise is be the best "you" you can be, whatever that may be! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  17. #17
    Member Deedee_tv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    It started out simple enough 50 years ago, I just wanted a pair of girls shoes. Today, I live my gender fluidity out in the open. Most days I wear women’s clothes, head to toe. My body is shaved, I’ve grown my hair for a year and wear a very feminine hair cut/color/style. I’ve had 5 sessions of laser hair removal on my face. I wear women’s glasses. My ears are pierced. Im openly bisexual but never want to be in a serious relationship again, 26 years of marriage was enough for me. I frequently have a manicure and pedicure all in front of my adult kids and close friends and everyone just knows it’s me. I may eventually start HRT but I would never have any gender surgeries.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    Feb 2015
    I started when I was about 10, wearing my mothers tights; what would be called leggings today. I always loved the feel, and as a runner was in heaven when running tights were first introduced. There was always something inside me that said 'female". Until I separated from my wife and lived alone I never took the plunge into fully dressing. I had my first makeover about 14 years ago and something clicked. I knew my dressing was more than just a fetish. I'm 66 now and circumstances rule out a transition. My current wife knows and is supportive; but would prefer others not know. I'm fine with that. I appreciate her tolerance. I go out fully dressed often. I have a petite frame, 5ft 6 135, so I really don't need any enhancements. I do wear leggings around the house and out to the grocery store. I would love to wear them out all the time but thats not in the stars at this time.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Nov 2019
    Kosciusko, MS
    Hi, Gwen. I fall under the "just a crossdresser spectrum". I'm a straight man, I just love CD'ing from time to time. I do go out CD'd, I wear makeup, a bra with breast forms, dresses, skirts, blouses, wigs, pantyhose, leggings or jeggings and women's shoes, but no hip padding of any kind..... I do not have the desire to fully transition into a woman, but I do try to act feminine when I'm out en femme. I also do not consider myself to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Others here may disagree and that's fine, but I think that is a matter of personal choice. When I'm myself, or in "male mode", I act like myself and I try to act masculine.

    I've been told once in my life that I act feminine by an ex-girlfriend and I never really noticed that about myself until she brought it up. After that, I made a conscience effort to try and act more masculine..... Didn't really work out. I honestly believe the reason that I act feminine and possibly the reason I have a strong feminine side, is because I was raised with all girls, I was the only boy in my family. I have four sisters, no brothers and three female cousins that I practically grew up with.
    Last edited by Kimberly A.; 11-21-2020 at 10:07 AM.
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  20. #20
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    If you asked me when I was 20 I would have said I was strictly a crossdresser.
    If you asked me at 40 I would have said crossdresser with leanings.
    If you asked me at 60 I would have said I would love to transition but there are so many things in the way.
    If you ask me now, having lived nearly full time for the last 8 months I will say I'm confused and not sure. Some days I wake up and cry because I want to transition, I want to have breasts and be rid of the male parts. Some days I wake up and wonder just what I'm doing, who I am and where I'm going. All paths are still accessible right now but I haven't decided which is right for me.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  21. #21
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.

    And, am willing go to extraordinary lengths to imitate the young women I see in my mind!

    However, that's just me. I've met 100's of dressers and I've never met one like me. But, I've found that they, u, are ALL the most amazing people!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    I discovered my late step mothers clothes in the attic at around 12 but was shipped off to live with grandparents when my father died. After losing both parents I was a mess eventually ending up married at 18. By the seventies I had three kids and a forth in the 80's. My wife did some part time work but the bulk of providing for everyone fell on me. I would sometimes think of dressing and in the mid 80's got into some bags of thrift store stuff and some sexy lingerie. I dismissed that as a one off kinky experience.

    It would hit me hard about eighteen years ago. I grew out my hair, shaved my body, got my ears pierced and dieted to the point that people thought I was fighting an illness. I was just trying to look good in a dress.

    Around that time my wife confronted me and laid down her dadt terms, we had never discussed my dressing so it hit me out of nowhere. I purged as a result and couldn't understand why I was attracted to dressing in women's clothing that but I kept shaving after purging. I got depressed, gained the weight I lost plus a bunch more and absorbed myself in an auto racing media opportunity nights and weekends after working all day at my regular job. In 2012 crossdressing came rushing back while my wife was out of town and I started buying things but was restricted by storage and logistics complications since then.

    Our intimate life ended due to her health issues and I was given a hall pass (she was thinking women) but didn't expect to ever use it. My wife is very liberal about pretty much every issue so without going into our background I can only say that the hall pass came from a sincere place. I later discovered that I have a bi side that was limited to other CD's. That realization had not been a prominent part of my life but it is a factor that may affect my dressing in some ways.

    I don't know what I am or where I fall in the spectrum. I think that my circumstances hold me back from truly knowing this part of myself. I was getting close to wanting to take it further, demanding freedom to dress and researching transition, and that scared me and hastened my decision to get therapy. I have a love hate relationship with crossdressing, I love the way I feel when dressed with wig and makeup but I hate how it complicates my life. When they put "clueless country bumpkin" in the dictionary they were using me as their example. I am so far out of touch with how I should behave and think of this due to my background and rural location that it borders on offending other members. Honestly, this is who I am and I welcome criticism if something I say is out of line or insensitive.

    After making some progress and finally accepting that I have gender issues that need to be addressed along came Covid. That brought my progress to a standstill and it's hard to convey how strongly I feel about this in therapy when I am unable to act on it. This is the first thing I have experienced since the untimely deaths of my parents that I can't control. When I find the answers I'm looking for I will post the rest of my story.
    Last edited by Star01; 11-21-2020 at 12:43 PM.

  23. #23
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    I have been struggling to answer this question for decades and the best I can come up with is that I am somewhere on the gender identity spectrum...if you view gender as two polar extremes...a bit to the female side. Saying that, its not a static sense...some days I can function comfortable as a male and wonder if all this gender angst is just a delusion. At other times I can totally accept being transgender. I am not sure what causes the shifts, but I notice that when my overall mood is positive, I also feel more comfortable with my female self. When I am depressed, then I shift a bit towards male and denial.
    Have you the belief that the road ahead
    Ascends off into some lights

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    I am a hetero crossdresser. I have never wanted to transition. I would like to get out and spend several days 24/7. However I like the boy side just as well as the girl side.

  25. #25
    New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    southeastern Pa
    After 45 years of "dressing", thanks to my sister moving out and leaving clothes behind that I had to try on and happened to fit, I have found that I have no intention of trying to pass myself off as anything else but what I am. I am a guy who enjoys wearing female clothing, mostly underwear but I do wear skirts or skinny jeans when no one is around. My wife knows that Robyn lives here, she might not how often Robyn shows up, but that's my problem. So where do I fall into the spectrum? I have no idea, I'm just a guy who is very comfortable wearing a bra and panties

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