I was shocked to the point of being without words the other day when I got a call from the doctor's office telling me my insurance has approved Breast Augmentation. I hadn't been thinking about it since it's been about 6 weeks since I went in for the consultation. There was an opportunity to schedule as early as January but I wasn't able to even think clearly at the time. I have a followup with another doctor in a few days concerning FFS and want to see what comes from that before I decide what to do with my winter. My mind has been reeling and my emotions are all over the place these days although I'm starting to settle down and trying to figure out what's real and what's just my fantasy.
I'm thinking since I feel the most dysphoric over my face, that would be my first choice, even though I'm going to have to pay out of pocket. I've made plans for how to pay for that, so it seems I've already made that decision about priorities. How long the doctors and hospitals require before and between surgeries may shift things around, as will the status of the pandemic which is out of control here at this time. There are a lot of moving parts that I realize I can't control so I'm attempting to find the ones I can work on.
I stopped wearing forms months ago, maybe even before I went full time. Should I begin wearing them again to get used to the change in shape and weight. Am I too damn old to get my face worked on and use the money to travel once the pandemic allows that? Should I just wait for the pandemic to be controlled before I do any of these things? I never thought I'd really be making these choices. I never really thought I'd be who I've become, so part of the shift in thinking is sorting the fantasies of a much younger person from the reality of a person who is surprised she managed to get old. I'm continuing to work with my counselor and a couple of close local friends, but I love the input I've always gotten here as well.
My ears are open.
