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Thread: Bad Experiences in Public?

  1. #76
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    I have been out and about as a female for a few years now..... to various stores, the local galleria mall, laundromat, etc ..... including to a major grocery supermarket .
    All these places are on the other side of town from me and I feel at ease..

    I never had a problem or issue... until recently at the grocery supermarket. Let me preface this by saying a few things .....
    1) I always leave my male wallet and main keys in my car.
    2) In my female purse I only carry some limited cash in my female wallet, a small change purse ..... and of course my car key.... along with some usual female things
    3) I also always carry a spare car key in one of these small bra purses or in whatever.....like in a skirt pocket etc..... just in case. I could loose etc my purse but, still have a car key

    Now.. for my recent problem..
    It happened at the grocery supermarket
    I always put my female purses in the shopping cart right after the handle where if you had a very small child they could sit there. You could pull the flap up and place you purse etc there This is what most females do there.

    I don't know how I did it but I left the purse in the shopping cart after taking my car key out of it and loading the groceries in my car. I did not realizes it until I started to leave.
    I had returned the shopping cart right by my car where only couple of other returned carts were. This was just off the parking lot and was evidently a designated place to return them .
    I was so relieved and grateful when I returned that my purse was still in the shopping cart .
    You can bet that I will never do that again.

    So the moral is ... prepare for such things and always be mindful of what you do.
    Also, as someone has said in this thread, "When in Rome do as the Romans do". .
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 02-09-2021 at 10:33 AM. Reason: spelling

  2. #77
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Just dress to look your best, and keep to yourself when shopping.

    If you can get a friend to go with you that is a bonus.

    Eventually you will gain confidence.

    I have not had any bad challenges, I have been so lucky.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  3. #78
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    I got called 'sir' today out shopping, and the lady turned red after it slipped out and I felt bad.
    Meh, I actually get more creeped out ad being called ma'am or miss, especially when they load it with snark.

    I was like....have a nice day!
    I wasn't presenting masculine at all, but I am 6'4, lolz.
    wmrt_2_6_21smll.jpg
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  4. #79
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Star01 View Post
    I'm not depressed by my lot in life, just have a few more steps to take before I could even think about going out in public. The choice is a difficult one, risk blowing up a fifty year marriage or living in angst. It's really not as easy to resolve as some would suggest.
    Star

    There's more than one way to go out. If DADT blocks you from going out the front door, go with plan B

    Plan B: Put the clothes, makeup, forms and wig in a bag (I use a duffle bag), and find a quiet place away from the house to change. I've changed in open parking lots, in multi-level garages, in men's rooms and women's rooms in office buildings or hotels, and in the extra bedroom of friends'. If it's a public space, I do recon in advance. I bring a mirror with me to do makeup, and I watch my surroundings. It's not for everyone, but it's possible.

    Just don't change in a retail store where you could be accused of shoplifting.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  5. #80
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Steffi,

    Good advice. Changing in a car is an art form, challenging but not impossible. The idea is to find a parking spot where your car will just fade into the environment. For example, a large packed retail parking lot or a multilevel parking garage. When there are dozens or hundreds of cars around, no one will even notice that there's activity inside one of those cars. The trick is to become comfortable with hiding in plain sight. It works!

    Changing in a public restroom is a much trickier proposition. Office buildings may have low traffic restrooms where you could spend a considerable amount of time without drawing attention. Maybe. Who knows. Stay far away from restrooms at gas stations, retail stores or restaurants as they will tend to be high traffic. Anyone spending more than a few minutes in one of those restrooms will raise huge red flags with management about possible substance abuse or shoplifting. The last thing you need is some 19 year old assistant manager banging on the door, loudly demanding that you exit the bathroom while you are halfway dressed.

  6. #81
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Changing in your vehicle? I do this when I go out because I don't want neighbors to see an unusual girl pulling out of my driveway. I underdress before leaving the house so that at least half the work is done. Sweat pants are good because they can be removed easily and the bagginess can cover what's underneath.

    Once I park somewhere I put on makeup with the help of a 10x mirror. Next, change whatever clothes that are left to change into - Insert breast forms, put on jewelry, wig and I'm ready to go.

    Never tried putting on a dress while sitting in the car. Some skirts can be dressed under without getting wrinkled. Tops can be underdressed unless it's a hot summer day. Having bra exposed is the biggest risk, but that should only last for 30 seconds or less.

    You're a girl now, isn't it great?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  7. #82
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    Ressie...

    i do just as you said.... I found some great, large parking lots to do this .
    .....except I do my makeup at home
    I use minimal make up...... mainly some foundation and a little blush.... with subtle eye shadow. With my eye glasses on and a medical mask you really have to look hard to see anything. After I am fully dressed in my car, I will add some finishing touches to my make up.

    Also, I add my breast forms at home. I cover this up with an over size T- shirt. I live an apartment complex. and I park my car right in front of my apt where I can see it.
    I always try to leave when no one else are at their car.

    BTW, tomorrow late morning I will be gong out shopping. I will underdress a sweater. However, I will be wearing a denim maxi skirt that I will have to put on in my car
    However I love slips and will underdess a maxi slip. i have been getting really good at all this.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 02-08-2021 at 10:54 AM.

  8. #83
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Pre-pandemic I could do a full in-car switch into Monica mode in 20 minutes. This included removing my drab outfit, putting on shape wear, breast plate, clothes, wig and makeup. The last few times that I have been out, it has taken considerably longer due to lack of practice. It actually would take me longer to revert to drab mode, as the makeup removal process has to be perfect, and then putting everything away is a whole other story.

  9. #84
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Monica

    You must be wonder woman or supergirl. Can you do it in a telephone booth also.

    It takes me at least an hour to do that in my house (if my wife is not around). I could never do it in 20 minutes.

    But I do have one more trick. Get totally dressed to go out from the neck down. Wear a jacket over the girly clothes, walk int the garage (mine is connected to the house), get in the car, hit the garage door opener and leave. Then do makeup and wig in a parking lot. If you put on the wig first, then you can take as long as you want doing the makeup. It's not unusual for a GG to do makeup in the car. And the neighbors ... They just see regular make you leaving the house.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  10. #85
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Good tips on changing in a vehicle. I like the idea of putting on the wig before applying makeup.

    This little car I bought a year ago is great on gas but the interior lacks space. Changing was easier in the minivan I previously had.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  11. #86
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi Gwen,
    You are getting great advice. My two cents. Hold your head up and don't look like a victim. Your greatest ally and best partner is your own fear. Be strong, this will be one of the most memorable events of your life. Mine was the biggest adrenaline rush of my life, I couldn't stop my hands from shaking for several minutes. Let us know how it went.
    Brenda

  12. #87
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
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    I know this is an old thread, but my only time out was terrifying and exhilarating. We started into one place and then it dawned on me it was REALLY LOCAL so we left and went to an Outback restaurant a few towns over. My wife ordered for me and although I was probably clocked, all was fine. I swore we?d go out last year after not going since October of 2015. Then came Covid-19 aaannnnnnnnndddd not so much. A few here have tried to lure me out.....I?m not sure. Although reading advice here a feel a confidence brewing. Guess it?s ?we?ll see? lots of luck to those venturing out!
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

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