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Thread: purge, spend, repeat

  1. #1
    love to hear from u missynicole's Avatar
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    purge, spend, repeat

    i purged. again. spending, again. when will i learn to accept me and all that means? i am soooooooooooooooo frustrated. ideas ladies?

  2. #2
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Ya gotta do life your own way, Missy!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Stop purging. When you feel all ashamed and are ready to give it all up. Just put everything away instead of throwing it away.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Nicole,

    Fill in the blanks here.

    How often do you dress and do you go out when you do? When purging is it done as a, grab it all, put it bags and take it down the charity shop, an impulsive action or does the idea to purge and the act of purging take time?

    How long between purging and starting to buy new?

    Finally, do you know why you purge? What your motivation, the driver for it.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  5. #5
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    When to accept? The sooner the better. Quit beating your self up. Don?t purge! I think you?ve learned by now the Pink Fog will return. Relax. Enjoy.

  6. #6
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    I purged 2 months ago.

    Please don't do it. I miss my things terribly. I had a few dresses I would love to get back. I even went to the Charity Shop where I donated them. Alas, everything was sold.

  7. #7
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    When ever I think about purging and tell myself Im done dressing (yeah right) I think of all the great advice from the ladies here do not do it!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Lat time I had the urge to purge it all got boxed up and hidden away in the attic of the garage. I unpacked it a couple weeks later.

    I don't think you can stop it!

    Give up and accept who you are. Most of us have been there, just accept you are a weird guy that likes women's clothing and once you get over that life will be much better.

    I never felt weird about dressing, just knowing my wife would have issues with it and spending the money on clothing and high heels was what I had trouble with and trying to hide it. Now that she has come around life is peaceful again.
    Last edited by Pumped; 11-29-2020 at 02:43 PM.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member
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    I've done that myself. I am glad that my purging days are behind me.

    Purging isn't always a failure of accepting yourself. Sometimes we purge because people we love cannot accept our crossdressing. We want to please people we love and we fear their rejection.

    Personally, I don't accept myself as a female. However I accept that my brain is hardwired to release feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc.) when I feminize myself. These neurotransmitters just make me happy. I believe I have my crossdressing under control. As long as I keep it under control and I can live within my wife's boundaries, everything is alright.

  10. #10
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    I guess that showed you have good taste!

  11. #11
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Never Again ok?
    I remember when Sher did this over her daughters in the very beginning of our relationship I had her box them up and I told her I would take to the Sally Ann ( ( like goodwill) I did not tell her I was not taking them till after at least 6 months time lol. A week later she regretted it andI pulled them out..Ohhappy day!
    So if ever you feel like that pack up and put out of sight.
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  12. #12
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I plan on Purging as soon as I quit cross-dressing!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  13. #13
    Silver Member NancyTO's Avatar
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    I purged once early in my crossdressing, so fortunately I didn't have a lot to get rid of. Now I'm a clotheshorse.

    I got rid of about two dozen really dated dresses during the pandemic lockdown, but still have waaaay too many dresses.

    Bought two more dresses during Black Friday sales, with no where to wear them till social distancing is over with. And so it goes.
    If your not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.

  14. #14
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    I've purged a whole bunch of times, and there are so many things I've thrown, but loved and would pay big money to get back.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member
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    I have never completely purged. I have downsized to much a few times which is bad enough. That was more of I dont have room to keep all of this, or I dont have room to move all of this. I did get rid of some things I wish I would have kept but oh well. Now I have to downsize again but really don't want to. This time because I upsized way to much. I dont have room for all I have. And I got rid of the boy things so thays not even a factor.

  16. #16
    Member Happilymarriedguy's Avatar
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    The last time I felt like I needed to purge, I did something different.

    I boxed everything up and took it out to the garage and there it all sat for about 6 months.

    I have purged a couple times and I always regretted getting rid of everything only to try replace things. It seemed like there were always a few things I couldn't replace because they don't make them anymore. First purge I had a nice set from Victoria's Secret, it was kind of a peach color set that included, tap pants, bra, chemise and teddy. I realize they would be to small for me now, but I still wish I had them.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Nicole,
    I've never purged because I knew I would never stop , I must admit it's so good now to have my clothes hanging in my wardrobes in my home and no one will stop me .

    Judy,
    Which means you'll never purge !
    The real me , no going back.

  18. #18
    Eva evadan's Avatar
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    I purged completely once backin the mid 90’s. Oh, how I miss all of that lingerie from the 70’s and 80’s! It’s just not the same anymore.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    When you truly accept yourself, there is no guilt. Without guilt and shame there is no reason or feeling that you need to change.

    Have you ever purged your guy clothes? If not, why not?

    Knowing that you are this way is not the same as acceptance.

    On the other hand, you will have new things to wear and the shops will love you.

  20. #20
    Member Geena75's Avatar
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    There is a lot of talk about accepting yourself and never being able to quit. There are people who have quit cross dressing. They enjoyed it for a time, then quit. (Note that they would not be on this site if they actually quit). Purging is an attempt to quit. I think of the smoker who discards all tobacco products, lighters and ashtrays, but within two weeks has went back to smoking and bought all three. If someone seriously wants to quit, they first have to be thoroughly convinced that crossdressing does not fit into their life, and that they really do not get enjoyment from it (or, at least that the enjoyment is more than offset by the problems it brings). If that is the case, then purge and stay purged. There is nothing wrong with quitting something that is detrimental to your happiness. Just be sure.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member
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    As has been said many times, many ways, instead of purging, just put things away...someplace safe, dry, out of sight and out of mind.

    As for self acceptance, perhaps the act of storing away the clothes will actually help in the sense that instead of discarding (rejecting) yourself, you are simply setting this part aside until you feel you may need it again. Try to think of this as a pause or a change of season.

  22. #22
    love to hear from u missynicole's Avatar
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    thank you everyone for the wonderful advice. i hope i can follow through with some of it. if i start again i will scream on this forum first. thank you again.
    luv to all.
    Nicole

  23. #23
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Self acceptance is the key.
    I too went through many purges in my time until I finally said, Wait, why?
    Periods of guilt and shame always accompanied the purges until I stopped feeling that what I was doing was somehow wrong. It's not! It's just part of who I am.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    As most of the ladies here, I have been through the same thing more times than I want to admit. Now I keep two large plastic totes, or tubs that I can pack all my things in if I feel the urge. I put them in a storage cabinet in my garage until it goes away, or comes back depending on how you choose to look at it. As for the spending, well, I'm not sure that one ever goes away, a girl always needs a cute dress or a new pair of shoes, right?
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    So many lost pairs of shoes, dresses, skirts, WIGS, lingerie, bags, jewelry (usually cheap but still) and even a set of silicone forms...all lost in several purges, each one more painful than the other. It's already been said but self acceptance is key. However you can 'fake it til you make it' and just decide to not purge no matter what, and then start moving toward self-acceptance. That's how i have started. I stopped purging like 5-6 years ago and am working on the self acceptance bit--I'm much better but still working

    As for the spending, like Shelby says a girl always needs a new dress or new shoes! So quitting purging did not curb my spending :P

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