Explaining the facts .

[Teresa]

I had my second meeting with my mother today , first I had to do some shopping then dropped in for a cup of tea and a chat . Again she amazed me at 91 for being aware of the situation . The usual subject came up of how my sister is going to deal with me as she hasn't met me as Teresa , my mum said she is struggling for the reason " why " . So I expained to her the basic thinking now of what happens to the development in the womb , she now understands the principles of gender dysphoria , why mind and body don't always align . She then pointed out a newspaper article where a F/M is having problems with reversing transition , she grasped the idea of what blockers did and why they suggest they should be withheld on teenagers .

On one wall of her lounge she has three paintings I gave her as presents of places we had visited when we took her on holiday , she said she wished she could still travel , so I asked if she would like to go for days out when the pandemic is over . She said she would be delighted but then I queried about my appearance she said she didn't have a problem with that , you're still Terry to me but spelt with an " I " .

I gave her the biggest hug when I left , I'll really look forward to taking her out .

[Helen_Highwater]

Teresa,

It's lovely you've made such strides with your mother. As we often struggle with the why ourselves explaining it to others seems like an near impossible task.

[Stephanie47]

Take your mum somewhere nice. Your outward appearance makes no difference to her. She realizes you're the same person she raised.

[Teresa]

Helen,
I have to be careful with the explanation as the first time I told her she was OK at the time but two days later she rang to tell me how guilty she felt because it was all her fault . I know some say we are affected by the hormone wash the mother is experiencing during pregnancy but I didn't go into that detail with her .

The slightly sad or perhaps annoying part is my mother is OK with me , which is wonderful but she's trapped between my sister and my ex-wife and their more outspoke opinion , at least I know my mother has the facts now .

Stephanie,
That's why I gave her a huge hug when I left , she did say I'm not a bad person and doing no one any harm , she just appreciates how happy I am now .

[suzanne]

I'm happy for you. Mothers are great, aren't they? Full of unconditional love. Mostly. She is developing some dementia. The conversation you had with your mother is a non-starter for me and mine. I'll just let her believe what she wants about me. It doesn't change our somewhat distant relationship. Not nearly as good a situation as yours, so I'm happy for you.

[Teresa]

Suzanne,
Your comments remnded me of another comment my mother made when I suggested how badly my father might have reacted if he knew about Teresa , all she said was you might have been surprised , which isn't what I expected to hear , she didn't elaborate so the conversation moved on .

One other point I missed was when I asked if she could think back to when I was 8-9 years old did she ever hear me sneak out of my bedroom when they were asleep to get items of clothing stored at the bottom of the airing cupboard , she hadn't heard but was surprised to know I was already dressing by then .

[Di]

All I can say is I just adore your Mum.

[Michellebej]

That is wonderful Teresa! I'm so happy for you. It is so good that your Mother is still around! I wish mine was... Good on you!

[AngelaYVR]

My mum and I have an unspoken pact that it never gets mentioned again. I think she still uses Benny Hill as her reference point.

[Bobbi46]

Teresa, you are so lucky to have your mum and so very accepting as well, you are so very fortunate. And when things getter you must take her out for the day as often as you/she can. best wishes

[Teresa]

Angela,
I do sense there is something unwritten in her acceptance but I won't question it .

Bobbi ,
I intend to .