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Thread: Opportunities Missed

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    Opportunities Missed

    I was off to college after graduating high school. I moved to Indianapolis to further my education. It was there that I was hired to work in the out-mail department of Lane Bryant. Being employed there had some perks that I regret that I didn't take advantage of. They have a store exclusively for the staff. I never sought it out. Things were said to be priced at cost or below cost.

    At 19 life can focus on things more set to life goals, the reason you are even in Indianapolis. I went on to a more suitable job in my vocation. But had I not been that focused and been a bit more patient, who knows what a difference it would have made?

    How about you? What opportunities do you think you've missed?

  2. #2
    Member BethanyCross's Avatar
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    I just cringe when I think of the many opportunities I passed on when I was younger. Halloween is the obvious first one. I always wanted to dress as a girl for Halloween but was too scared. Every year I would commit and then back out.
    Once when I was in college, I worked up the nerve to go to a beauty salon for a haircut. This was when men were just starting to be accepted at salons. The hairdresser apparently guessed my interest as she used a women's strawberry scented shampoo on me. As she was styling it she used a spray-on product on my hair saying, "This is really for women, but we won't tell anyone, will we." As she finished she told me that next time we could try "something with curls" Sadly, I never followed up on this rare opportunity of a supportive hairdresser.

  3. #3
    Girl Power! CrossKimmy's Avatar
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    Oh gosh so many to count.

    There was one time in particular will never forgive myself for missing though.

    I had been going on a crossdressing video chat site for a while and had struck up a conversation with another crossdresser. I never used to show my face but that day I felt brave enough to show it to her. She showered me with compliments about how lovely I looked which made me so happy to hear. I still kinda cry about it today. I told her that my shoes were brand new and just bought them that morning.

    She told me to grab a purse and go back that shoe shop and show the sales lady my look with the shoes I had just purchased and to report back to her once I had completed this goal.

    So I borrowed my mothers sunnies and a purse and packed it with all the essentials including my car keys. I was actually going to do it this time I thought. I was super nervous and breathing so fast and heavy. I left the house and locked the front door even!! I just needed to make it to my car without being spotted. I saw a car dive down the street and I chickened out so fast!

    It still makes me cry to this day. I never talked to her after that. I feel so terrible about it to this day.
    Last edited by CrossKimmy; 12-03-2020 at 12:59 PM.

  4. #4
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    My goodness, Joyce, that's wonderful!

    If the only thing u regret is not shopping in the company store when u were young? U must live a wonderful life!

    My regrets? I have a few. But, not enuff to mention-----
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 12-06-2020 at 09:06 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  5. #5
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    When I was in high school a friend sang "Sweet Gypsy Rose" and asked me to dress up like a girl and come out as 'Rose' at the end of the number. I had dressed a little for a couple years before, but was scared to death that someone would know I liked it. My answer was a definite 'no.' Another guy did it. I've often wondered if that would have pushed me over the edge then, or if I would have felt so ridiculed that I would never dress again.

  6. #6
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    at around 18 used to work night shift and coming home around 1 in the morning (circa 1980) not a lot of cars on the road like now , car pulls up next to me at traffic lights and i could tell "she" was a female impersonator as they were back in the day and very pretty probably about 30'ish , she looked at me and i at her then the lights changed and she took off i wanted to follow but she lost me, i wanted so badly to see her and talk, if i had some hose or heels in the car at the time i could have held them up and mouthed " me too" and maybe she (drag mother they call them now?) have helped a young wannabe girl (since 5) ..who knows....i could have got in on that scene she was in and my life would be a totally different one to now.....i ponder often after a first marriage (that's what we all thought we had to do back in the day)....luckily 2nd marriage accepts me for who i am, mostly closet girl but i do go out here and there with permission!

  7. #7
    Member Christina89's Avatar
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    My main one is not telling my mother the truth the first time she found a stash of her clothes in my room that I hid. I think things might be different in my life if I did. Another one is not telling my step mother about Christina before her and my father divorced. She was a caring person and was definitely understanding about a lot of things. And I think she would have loved this. Lol

  8. #8
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    When I was in high school, the opportunity to dress up as a ballerina in a school musical was offered to me. Unfortunately, I passed it up. The same year, I was invited to a Halloween party by a close friend. He suggested that we both dress up as girls to amuse another friend. I again refused and have never forgotten the missed opportunity.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member DebsUK's Avatar
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    Oh, let me count the ways.
    Growing up in the early 80s, the whole New Romantic trend was going on which I wanted to participate in (I remember seeing Boy George for the first time on TOTP and I wanted to be like him). I didn't because I was into heavy metal and so were my friends. Even in metal, I missed out on the whole glam thing that was coming out of LA at the time (think bands like Poison, and I wanted to be Mike Monroe from Hanoi Rocks), but shame meant I didn't make a move. I grew up in Blackpool which I knew had a vibrant gay scene, totally unaware that there was also a healthy trans scene running alongside it.
    Fast forward to university when I could have strode forward in 3in heels and started presenting more femme, but it took maybe 8 years or so before I came to realise that not only was it not wrong to cross dress, but it was also not a crime to buy your own female wardrobe and makeup. I passed up chances to play female characters in the chemistry department's annual Christmas review (I did wear this great green, fur-trimmed fairy outfit and green tights in one of our skits, but I had to make sure I did it "reluctantly" even though I felt nothing of the sort)
    Even now I don't want to sound too enthusiastic about any chance to dress up, like a Halloween costume because, what would the neighbours say?

  10. #10
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
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    Deb's U/K,
    The neighbor (s) just might want to compare notes...........
    Liz

  11. #11
    Junior Member Amelia_Rose's Avatar
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    Life wise? Not getting into my current career field immediately after high school...I'd be 3 years from a 20-year government retirement with a full pension/benefits. Crossdressing wise? Not fully accepting this side of myself at a much younger age, and being upfront with my wife. Our relationship has only gotten stronger since I came out to her, and I feel ashamed that I did not trust her from the beginning...

  12. #12
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    Not trying out for drill team in high school. My GF was on the drill team and she and a couple of her friends on the squad knew of my girly tendencies. They encouraged me to try out, and we talked to the sponsor/coach. She said "Sure, you can try out," making it clear that I would have to wear the girls' uniform (and do my hair and makeup like the girls) if I made it. I went as far as going to "clinic" (the pre-tryout practices) before I chickened out because I knew it would be unacceptable to my parents, not to mention my 2 older brothers. (I genuinely think I could have handled the reaction from friends.)

    It would definitely have changed my life back then, and probably going forward; chances are I would have accepted and publicly expressed my femininity much sooner.

  13. #13
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    In my younger days, not only did I repress any femininity but the area where I lived would have rejected it. So no I didn't miss any opportunities because there weren't any. Looking back, I probably should have moved.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    I often wonder where I would be if I had the whole internet at my finger tips like today or if I was born 50 years later. Would I be gay? Trans? Maybe just endogenous?

    Back when I was a teen nobody talked about "it". There were guys that likes guys, but that was about all I knew at the time.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pumped View Post
    I often wonder where I would be if I had the whole internet at my finger tips like today or if I was born 50 years later. Would I be gay? Trans? Maybe just endogenous?

    Back when I was a teen nobody talked about "it". There were guys that likes guys, but that was about all I knew at the time.
    If you're not gay or bi now, you wouldn't have been gay or bi just because of the internet. You either are or you aren't.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Well, I am not certain!

  17. #17
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    Newly married in the early 80s in our 20s watching tv one night my wife said let me put some makeup on you and told me you know with your legs I could dress you up take you out and no one would know your not a girl i could not believe it I had always like women?s clothing but had not shared that with her (still have not told her) well I panicked and said no way. I often wonder if that would have changed my opportunities to dress years ago I will always remember her saying that and the thought of dressing with my wife is very exciting.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member KymG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jillcder View Post
    Newly married in the early 80s in our 20s watching tv one night my wife said let me put some makeup on you and told me you know with your legs I could dress you up take you out and no one would know your not a girl i could not believe it I had always like women?s clothing but had not shared that with her (still have not told her) well I panicked and said no way. I often wonder if that would have changed my opportunities to dress years ago I will always remember her saying that and the thought of dressing with my wife is very exciting.
    Could you say, do you remember when you wanted to make me up? See if she takes the bait.
    Worth a try.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    I remember being in a bar a long time ago, a woman walked past me and I said under my breath, "I would look better in that than she does". And a woman that I knew was close enough to hear me. She agreed.

  20. #20
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    Hi Joyce , I regret waiting 72 years to get my ears pierced, >Orchid **OO**
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  21. #21
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    KymG, thanks for the suggestion I will keep that in mind.

  22. #22
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    No point in having regrets. If I had to pick a lost opportunity it would be pulling out from a joint services expodition to the High Atlas mountains in 1983. I had the wrong boots for crampons and no opportunity to get the corrected boots. So I refused the offer to simply walk to base camp and pulled out entirely. I love climbing mountains and suspect I could have climbed more over the years if I had gone along and made friends within the team.
    Last edited by Jane G; 12-09-2020 at 07:42 PM.

  23. #23
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    I had so many missed opportunities when I was young. However growing up I believe that any boy who wanted to wear girl's clothes must have a serious mental illness. Not wanting to be stigmatized, I rejected all opportunities. Here are a few...

    When I was around 12 years old I was helping my mom with the cooking and she turned to me and said I should have been born a girl. I asked her why she would say such a thing. She answered that I could be a nice girl with long hair and pretty dresses. At the time I was very skinny. Of course I disagreed. She made another comment about being about to prove it, but I was unwilling to accept any challenge. She dropped the discussion and it was never brought up again.

    In high school we held a womanless beauty pageant. My class had difficulty finding a volunteer. I was asked to volunteer, but there was no way. I was afraid everyone would think I was gay or mentally ill.

    My first job out of college was in a public health office where I was the only male. The women there were professionals and all dressed well. One young woman only wore pants (she owned no dresses). An older woman encouraged her to wear a dress to work, and she answered by saying, she'll wear a dress when Confucius does. This caused everyone to laugh. I answered that our boss would fire me if I did that. Our boss was listening outside our door and came in to say that she wouldn't fire me, and it might rise moral. Some of the women in the office offered to help me, but I turned them all down. The issue was never brought up again.

  24. #24
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    I had a girlfriend who hinted that her father was a CD. I played dumb and ignored the hint. I think she would have been accepting of my crossdressing. She may have put things together that I liked learning about women's clothes.

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