It is over. My wife came over to my house last night to talk and told me she has decided not to pursue our marriage. She feels we are both moving in different directions and want different things. I am sure that she is referring to my CD/TG here and she tells me she is looking for a closer relationship with God. She had told me before that she married a man and did not want to be married to ?something else?. She says she has forgiven me but then says she does not believe me when I say that I have been faithful or that I love her and want to try to work on fixing our marriage.
Of course she says that she wants to stay friends and hopes that we can continue to see each other as such. Right now I am just hurting. Right now I do not see how I can separate loving her and being friends. I think I will need time and space to process my feelings and allow time for my love for her to fade. Maybe then we could be friends.
I am just hurting so much right now. I know that there is a new future out there waiting for me but right now all I want is the past.
Rachel
