Its ok Rachel you do anything you have to do to hold on , even if it is just minute by minute . My ex said the same that he wished he'd never looked at it . He was from the Netherlands so no one saw it as something that could possibly do any harm but it surely can and I am NO prude . You arent alone in this situation to be sure .
Right now just work on getting through this really acute time . Then when things are calmer think about maybe focusing on that porn part and don't worry about the dressing as much . I normally dont say stuff like that but yes the porn and the result of it is what was the catalyst in my case so I understand where you are coming from .
Ill be in again in a bit .