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Thread: Got some bad comment last night

  1. #1
    Junior Member Scarlett1975's Avatar
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    Got some bad comment last night

    My wife and I went out to casino last night which may not have been best choice. I felt out of comfort zone with all the people looking at me and then 4 guys stopped and said, wtf is that? And a dew other nasty things. I felt unsafe so we left and went elsewhere which was great as no one cared or really noticed me. I just wish people could mind their own business. I thought I looked ok.
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  2. #2
    Happy being Stevie Stevie Allyn's Avatar
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    Some people are just scum. You look great - don't let the ignorant A-holes get you down.

  3. #3
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    Is that Atlantic City?

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    One of the reasons why I don't go out,
    Ridiculed and harassed all of my childhood.
    Not going out looking for it now,

    But you look amazing, Kudos to you for getting out.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  5. #5
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    You both look nice. I think a casino may not have been your best choice of venues, though. Sometimes alcohol doesn't say nice things,

  6. #6
    Junior Member Scarlett1975's Avatar
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    No, Sydney Australia

  7. #7
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    You both look great, but some people might think a bit on the trashy side. Nothing wrong with it, but it attacks attention, female, or CD'er. Some guys see a sharp looking woman in a tight, short dress and platform heels and they immediately think hooker and the wrong brain gets engaged. Are you certain they made you or was it a general comment on your attire? Is this style common for the area? Around he the casinos are filled with retired people and a outfit like that would stand out.

    My wife would wear some crazy tight little dresses and heels back when we were first going out and married and she always got some sort of reaction. It might have been just a wolf whistle, a whoop, or some guy saying "damn!" or "Looking good honey!". It was enough that she had a tough time dressing up like that. At first she didn't really notice it, then she started asking me what all the fuss was about, "You honey!" she didn't care for al the extra attention!

  8. #8
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    Scarlett you both look great and nice to see you out with your wife thats a dream for most of us. Do not let them get you down mean people just suck!

  9. #9
    Junior Member Scarlett1975's Avatar
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    It was certainly directed at me yes. Funny that's the least ****ty dress that I wear. It's just above the knee and long sleeved. Its so wrong that women can't wear what they want without someone giving their opinion and I guess in some way I understand how that feels. I don't think the comment were due to the clothes though but then again if wearing a nana dress and flat shoes it prob would draw less attention however life's too short for ugly clothes..

  10. #10
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Life can be tough at times and I think the best thing to do is to shrug it off and say to yourself "they are low life scum with no idea about how polite one should" I am not criticising how you were dressed on that evening, you look OK, but I think it was a combination of wrong place, wrong time and dress for that place. There has been much said about dressing to blend could this be one of those times? I don't rightly know because we are all individuals entitled to dress how we please.
    Sadly there will always be the nasty ones around to spoil ones day.
    Don't let this get you down be like the Phoenix, rise from the ashes and start again.
    Good luck you are doing OK!!
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  11. #11
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Perspective and the glass is half full. You look great and I bet deep down they would date you...
    Be safe out there !
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Scarlett you look great.

    Its just those macho guys thinking they have to say something bad even if they think you look wonderful.

    They think they are protecting themselves from ridicule by there friends.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Scarlett,
    I'm going to agree with others , the guys probably had too much to drink and opened their mouths without engaging their brains .

    Sorry but I do think you should have been a little less showy , the hemline is well above the knee and your heels do make your legs look very attractive . Perhaps you should have played a little safer especially with your wife with you . The outcome is your confidence has been knocked , I hope your wife hasn't been put off another outing with you .
    Last edited by Teresa; 12-06-2020 at 11:18 AM.
    The real me , no going back.

  14. #14
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    Studies have shown peoples in groups will act in ways they would not act if they were alone; group dynamics. Individually, some guys are so uncouth when alone, but, it seems there is safety in numbers. They seem to feel it is necessary to be drawn in to be part of the group. I'm sure they identified you as a male and showed their disapproval. If they had encountered two women similarly attired the group would have expressed themselves also. You'll get the same verbal crap from a group of young teenage girls.

    My wife at 21 was drop dead gorgeous. She was unemployed and had to go to a certain unemployment office in mid town Manhattan. Every week she had to check in and every week the same group of construction workers would wolf-whistled at her and any other attractive woman. One day she had enough and took them to task and yelled at them to the extent a security guard at to intervene. She asked them whether they would appreciate it if a group of men did what they were doing to their daughters or their wives. She had been the United States Army where she had to combat ill mannered creeps. Frankly, my wife is normally placid, but, she does not take crap off anyone.

    Going out in daylight to do mundane chores is out of my comfort zone. Yes, it would be nice to be five foot six rather than six foot flat footed. If I want to get it out of my system, i.e., feel the cool breeze on my legs, then I'll take an evening stroll under the cover of darkness.

  15. #15
    Member ambigendrous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlett1975 View Post
    Funny that's the least ****ty dress that I wear. It's just above the knee and long sleeved.
    It looks more like "mid-thigh" rather than "just above the knee" to me! It's a beautiful dress, and you wear it well, but it's a dress that screams "LOOK AT ME!"
    Ambigendrous
    Wealth should not be measured by how much you have, but by how little you need - anon

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Scarlett, you look FANTASTIC! Haters are gonna hate, though there's no stopping that..... But you have a great body for that dress and you looked amazing, very passable imho.
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  17. #17
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    Scarlett, you look fabulous! Good for you to get out and I think it's awesome that your wife goes with you!
    "You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful."
    --Amy Bloom, American novelist

  18. #18
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    Wrong dress and wrong venue...that outfit was a comment in the making. Although it fits you well, staying near home would have been better. We see posts here all the time about dressing for the occasion and that outfit does not fit the place,,,unless attention is what you were looking for?

  19. #19
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    Watch those sprinkler heads! Lol. I'm about as tall. BTDT! Stay safe. don't let a one-off comment ruin your confidence. If you start getting similar comments week after week it might be time to pick a new strategy. It's amazing how one big nose or broad shoulder or whatever comment can eat away at you for years after it's said. Don't look at this the same way. They were drunk. That's all. It's weird how men act in a group. There is an immediate need to save the rest of the group from the same confusion. As soon as one discovers we may not be as we seem, they feel the immediate need to warn the others in the group. I've seen to behavior many times and this is nothing more. Just the pack leader saying Lookout don't get fooled. Shame but we are making progress overall.

  20. #20
    Junior Member Scarlett1975's Avatar
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    Funny though that the next place we went no body batted and eyelid lol. Thanks for the comments but looking back I think maybe it's the blonde hair rather than the dress as many were wearing far less. I guess I'll just have to get used to comments good or bad as I won't change how I dress. The dress I think had gathered up from walking at that point but it's fine I understand what you are saying .

  21. #21
    Sophie Sissy_in_pink's Avatar
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    I lived most of my life in Sydney I now live in Tamworth NSW, the last two years I dressed 24/7 and went to a lot of places in Sydney the whole time I never got any nasty comments, I did get a few stares but I found most people either didn't notice or didn't care. Maybe those jerks were out of towners and had never been exposed to city life or the transgender community.
    Sophie Mosley

  22. #22
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Amalou is quite right. Boors abound, especially the males, when travelling in packs of three or more, and where alcohol is free.
    And yes, you do look great, but you are calling attention to yourself. It's kind of like "boor baiting".
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

  23. #23
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    You looked amazing. It think the real problem was four guys and a little alcohol. One of them probably noticed something off, and then they had to show each other their macho, and try topping each other for the worst insult.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  24. #24
    Junior Member adelinapa's Avatar
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    You can't control what others will say about you. You can only control how you feel about it.

    I't's been my experience that the silent types are to be feared more than the verbal types. I agree with the many comments here, let it slide off of you like rain from a seagull's wings.
    The world is falling apart and ppl are like "EHRMYGAWD is that a man with fingernail polish on?"

  25. #25
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Wrong dress and wrong venue...that outfit was a comment in the making. Although it fits you well, staying near home would have been better. We see posts here all the time about dressing for the occasion and that outfit does not fit the place,,,unless attention is what you were looking for?
    Fortunette shame shame your comet, it reminds me of; "she deserved it defense based on her dress" and Miss Scarlett1975 you look marvelous and good on you being with a wife who enjoys your life style.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

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