I have been dressing up on and off for years, but have never really done it 100% due to an unshaven face (which I've had for many years). I breached the clean shaven idea to my other half (who has never seen me like that) about 7 years ago, and she thoughtfully rejected the idea (I don't think she has a clue about my CDing habit). Recently I have been playing with make up and a mask to more simulate my female self. I've used software apps to remove the facial hair to give me some clue of what I would look like. Nothing has really discouraged me from the curiosity of what I would really look like, and if I might have a chance of passing. I'm wondering now about working on the clean shaven idea again (it makes masks so uncomfortable and so forth).
My issue is that I have an underlying fear of what would be the aftermath. If I cleaned up and did reasonable make up work, and if I looked good, would I advance in CDing beyond where I really should go? Would I be able to go back? On the other hand, what if I looked so ridiculous that I wanted to give it up altogether, purge and so forth.
The logical conclusion would be to just stay at the cozy level where I am. I would have to suppress my curiosity (not an easy thing for a very curious person like myself). What happened to the cat that was too curious?