Curiosity and Fear

[LeannS]

Geena be very careful. I have had facial hair for the last 50 yrs. I have only shaved my mustache a few times. My kids would not talk to me as I looked total different.
My wife now loves facial hair. I have asked her several times if I could shave it it wasn't a no it was a hell no. She found out want I was doing and we had the "TALK"
basically the facial hair keeps me from going out. Sure it does with my little mask I go for a drive when ever I can.
I am not going the rock the boat on this one. But I do plan on having another talk this spring and see what I can do to see what I look like totally done.
but only with her blessing.

[EllieOPKS]

Geena,
Not trying to be disrespectful but do you seriously need your wife's approval to shave? Its your face, your body. Its not even a permanent alteration. Does she ask your permission to change hair styles or color? Just because your married it doesn't mean you shouldn't have your own space. It seems petty to me.

[Geena75]

Geena,
Not trying to be disrespectful but do you seriously need your wife's approval to shave? Its your face, your body. Its not even a permanent alteration. Does she ask your permission to change hair styles or color? Just because your married it doesn't mean you shouldn't have your own space. It seems petty to me.

True, it is my face. I'm obviously comfortable wearing facial hair, and (from what I have heard) am reasonably good looking in it. One consideration, though, is that I'm not looking at myself much (unless I'm being Geena). As the old poem goes:
I know my face ain't no star,
But I don't mind it,
'Cause I'm behind it.
It's the folks out front get the jar!
My spouse has to look at me more than I do, so I like pleasing her.

[MonicaPVD]

If you depend on permission from your significant other in order to *checks notes* shave your face, you have bigger problems that exceed the scope of this forum. Merry Christmas!

[DianeT]

My spouse has to look at me more than I do, so I like pleasing her.

Well said!

To EllieOPKS: as a matter of fact my wife asks me what I like when she is about to change her hair cut or color. And I ask her before shaving my face, because she likes me with a beard and I like her to like me, like she likes me to like her.

To MonicaPVD: to each her/his own, but I can't really think of spouses caring about each other as a 'bigger' problem. Merry Christmas too!

[Geena75]

Wonder of wonders. I breached the subject of facial hair removal. I mused that neither my spouse nor children have ever seen me clean shaven, so they couldn't tell how I would look. For that matter, I'm not even entirely certain how I would look, not having seen my chin for over 40 years. My wife's reaction is negative, she wouldn't like it. My still at home daughter, though, is enthusiastically positive about it, wanting to know when I'll do it. With that reaction, the wife, resigned, takes the "it's your face, so you can do what you like" line.

Clean shaven has been given the green light! My problem now, though, is when? Geena will definitely have to be fully realized for that occasion, so I need some alone time lined up, which would depend on when both the wife and daughter will be out of the house for several hours, and timing it accordingly. I will be looking for the opportunity.

[Debs]

Tell your wife that you would like her to have hairy legs and arm pits and she cant shave , what good for the goose is is good for the gander. Cant be one rule for one and different rules for the other.

[DianeT]

Geena I am afraid you didn't get a green light from your wife, but instead forced it on her (and used your daughter as an alibi, putting her in a potentially delicate situation with her mother). All this while the elephant is still frolicking in your room since she caught you a while ago. I suppose she can add 2 and 2 and knows exactly why you are doing this. So you are sort of rubbing it in her face while still refusing to address the subject with her in an honest conversation. How is this going to end?

Debs, let's put it a different way: if you have a wife, would you be pleased if she decided to let her hair grow all over and told you that it's her way or the highway? I have my doubts.

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Geena, also I saw you mentioning a kind of DADT for your situation with your wife. I guess you know that unless you had a talk about the dressing with your wife, there is no such thing as a DADT agreement in place.
I think you are torn by different feelings and trying to reduce the tension by bending reality to your thinking, going the easy path of ignoring the situation calling for measures. This really looks like ping fog and can alter judgment. I worry that during all this time, your wife is probably aching and may feel abandoned because you are not taking care of her, not addressing her concerns.

[Debs]

DianeT, it would aways be her choice wether to shave or not, I was making a point that she wouldnt let him. So what if he wouldnt let her, bit of reverse psychology, make her think a bit of how controlling she is.

[Geena75]

Diane
You make a good point in that I am forcing it on her. Bear in mind, though, it is a one shot sort of thing. I've promised to grow it back promptly if she doesn't like it. If/when I would, there would have to be an opportunity to feminize during that time. I do care about what she likes and like to please her. However, if I was totally concerned about risking her displeasure, I would certainly not be cross dressing in the first place.

Debs
Your logic is there, but it can seem like a competition. Some years ago she had teeth trouble. I urged her to consider having the work done to fix them, but she insisted on taking the route of dentures. I could have cried because her special smile I loved was gone forever. Turnabout may be fair play, but I wouldn't want her to feel now the way I did then. At least my notion isn't permanent.

Thank-you for the advice and concern
Geena

[jacques]

hello Geena,
For you is it about the clothes or the appearance?
For me it is about the clothes, so I don't ever think I would shave my beard off. It does not stop me wearing makeup.
We are all different though!
luv J