New gurl looking for advice

[Kimmynewcd]

Please forgive my story. I?m not here looking for a date or anything just need to get this in the open and need some advice. I?ve been secretly crossdressing for about 15yrs and went from just panties, to a bra, to wearing panties, bra, nighty, to full blown lingerie, Halloween wig, woman?s jeans and top. I absolutely love it. I can?t explain the way it makes me feel. Probably 5-6yrs I got the urge to try and meet men. Well I met a guy and fully explained that I was new to this and masculine. I?m 6.6ft and 290lbs. I met him for drinks as a dude and went back to his place I wore my jacked up Walmart wig and some lingerie, socks shoved in the bra, horrible makeup job and I absolutely loved it. He did make comments about me being big and manly. We met one more time and after that he pretty much said not interested and don?t bother him again. I tried meeting other guys and once dressed up they said I didn?t look good. I quit for about 3-4yrs because of it.

Recently I decided I wanted to give this another try. I do date woman but I prefer men and prefer to be dressed up. I met a guy last month and he said that other than my hairy areas I wasn?t bad. I can?t shave due to dating woman so looking for advice on covering that up. My current setup is a body shaper, thigh highs, garter belt, bob wig almost to my shoulders, but I want to experiment with breast forms, nice lingerie, bra, panties, and a dress.

Ive been looking at the single forms on Amazon and figured I could put them in a bra and they would work fine or should I spring for the chest plate type? What size do you recommend? I feel like with my large chest anything c or larger will look weird. With panties what are you wearing that your are not hanging out? I want something natural looking.

I struggle with wigs because they are all so cheap and get tangled and look horrible. I also can?t do makeup that looks good. I prefer dark eyes but I think it looks horrible.

Anyone else have a large build and dress? I would really like to go to a gay bar or something and hang out but I don?t even feel comfortable meeting a guy because I look bad

Any tips on wigs, makeup, lingerie, hiding hair on your back, buttocks, Etc. is greatly appreciated. I do shave my face.

One thing that bothers me and I can?t seem to shake is I will get in this mood where I want to fully dress so I get all done up and just hang out around the house and I feel great but when I take it off or get done meeting a guy I kind of feel ashamed. Last month when I got done meeting the guy I said to myself this isn?t who I am and threw everything away. I?ve done this twice before but I always seem to come back to crossdressing and the urge to dress as sexy as possible, act feminine and meet a guy. I?ve even been to the point where I talk to someone online, dress up to show them and when they say let?s meet I back out. Is it just my nerves of not looking good?