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Thread: Misgendered

  1. #1
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Misgendered

    My wife and I walked into a local family restaurant and sat down for lunch. The waitress showed up and said "Good morning ladies."

    The problem was, I was not dressed or presenting as a "lady". I was wearing jeans, a men's pullover shirt and sneakers.

    My wife said "Well your secret is out now."

    The waitress apologized and took our orders.

    My take from this is that if I'm going to be seen as a woman by people I might as well dress like one, right? I wonder if I can convince my wife.
    Krisi

  2. #2
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    It's not the clothes, it's the person wearing them. I think we put out some kind of "vibe" that women pick up on. It would be wonderful if your wife can get on board.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  3. #3
    Member cindylouho's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like what happened is a good talking point, use it to try to convince your wife to support you in dressing more.
    Be the best you, be the true you.
    That said, I love faceapp so much I change my avatar daily

    https://giphy.com/gifs/l0MYEWpv7Ue0RFVaE/html5

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Krisi,
    It depends if it was said as a sarcastic comment , she did aplogise but why did she make tzhe comment in the first place ?

    I can see nothing wrong with dressing if your wife is comfortable with it , it depends if you really have that deep need to dress more and be accepted as a woman .
    The real me , no going back.

  5. #5
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    I wonder why this happened, Krisi? Do you have any feminine body attributes? Long hair? Is that your own hair in your avatar? (It looks nice anyway.)

    Good luck persuading your wife that you ought to dress more!

  6. #6
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Krisi,

    I thought you were already out to your wife and life?

  7. #7
    Member BethanyCross's Avatar
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    I had that happen to me at Sears many years ago, shopping with my wife for an appliance. I loved the comment, even though I was dressed drab. I know it was my curly perm, but men were doing that then. What was your hairstyle?

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    If that happened to me, I would take it as a compliment, and wouldn't think of correcting the waitress.
    I'd be curious as to what caused her assumption. Long hair, Androgynous shirt, Perhaps she came up from behind you. Perhaps a feminine walk as you came in. Or maybe she was hurried and not paying much attention.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member DebsUK's Avatar
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    I had this one time when I was trying to be a bit androgynous. I too was with my wife and went to a restaurant and the lady addressed us as ladies. Then apologised when she realised her mistake. I wasn't wearing anything obviously feminine. I've been misgendered when I was a teenager a couple of times and was mortified, but this time it gave me a massive grin. To be honest it was more likely because I'm a short guy and she glanced us out of the corner of her eye

  10. #10
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    The waitress may have seen you both out of the corner of her eye, and not seen you fully.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Krisi, I can tell this made your day and it should. Good your wife seems to have been ok with it.
    Crissy

  12. #12
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Krisi,
    It depends if it was said as a sarcastic comment , she did aplogise but why did she make tzhe comment in the first place ?
    .
    Judging from the rest of our visit, she was just "not all there". She brought my wife sweet tea after she asked for unsweetened and she could not find a lid for the rest of my lunch and we had to ask a different waitress.

    For the other questions, I am out to my wife but not to the world and no, the hair in my avatar is a wig, not natural hair. I have much shorter, mostly grey hair although I was in need of a haircut. The waitress was looking squarely at us.

    I forgot to mention that we had just come from Ross where I bought two new dresses. They were in the trunk of the car, I was not wearing either of them.
    Last edited by Krisi; 12-11-2020 at 10:36 AM.
    Krisi

  13. #13
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I don't care what they call me. As long as they get my order rite and bring it soon!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
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    How many of us CD'ers wished this would happen to?

  15. #15
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Many people use "guys" as a generic term. It would be more fun for us crossdressers if it had been "ladies".

  16. #16
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I got that all the time. It was either my hourglass figure or the way I move. I don't take up space the way men do.

    Marion

  17. #17
    Oh my god, I'm a girl! jazmine's Avatar
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    Ah yes. That happens to me a lot. My wife asked me once if that bothered me, and I said ,"nah". I think it use to bother me because the other person's embarrassment would make me embarrass. Now, I just tell the person , "no harm done. I'm actually a cross dresser anyways." It did happen at once at the bar at a casino when I was with my wife & my mom. That was embarrassing, mostly because of my mom being there to hear it. I think I was quickly "assessed" a female due to the size of the hoops of my earrings.....
    So I like dressing like girl. BIG DEAL!

  18. #18
    Member Genni's Avatar
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    I was misgendered just yesterday in my ski instructor uniform. A gentleman in the chairlift maze looked in my direction and said “after the lovely lady.” I had a mask and helmet on, but my long blond locks were showing. I looked around, laughed and said “there’s a lovely lady here?” It made my day, and I fell in love again with the haircut I had just got the day before.

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