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Thread: Two more things

  1. #1
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Two more things

    1) Do you still cross dress to the same extent as you did when you first started? For most who have been cross dressing for years, I am guessing you may have started with just wearing a bra, panties but now feel the need to fully cross dress . Are my assumptions correct ? What is your story?

    2) Need suggestions .
    We have some members that for different reasons ( covid and both are home, agreement with wife, ect)
    That cannot dress .at all for some time now. I thought face app.....but I really do not know how that works, just being on here ( or does that make it worse?) So please suggestions that might help them .
    Thanks in advance for joining in.
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    1) It's definitely progressive for me. I started off with my sister's dresses, which I was a reluctant model for my seamstress mother, but also thought I was trans at the time(without knowing what it was), and my dressing progressed from a dress to now fully presenting as femme as possible.

    2) FaceApp and other filters are the best alternatives if you don't have the time and freedom - I haven't had more than 4 hours alone since COVID began, so my makeup is a rushed on and rushed off affair. I'll sometimes skip makeup entirely and use faceapp, but it feels fake so I try to avoid using it. End of the day, ask the question: if we didn't have mirrors and photos, would you still dress?

  3. #3
    Member Lisa Gerrie's Avatar
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    > I am guessing you may have started with just wearing a bra, panties but now feel the need to fully cross dress .

    Specifically...

    > now feel the need

    No, the desire/need/drive/itch to dress fully was always there. My favorite teen fantasy was getting locked in a department store overnight, and going to town. Limited resources and opportunities when I was young -- the need to hide everything, the cost, etc. -- is what limited me early on.

    2) Sorry, nothing comes to mind.

    Charlotte> if we didn't have mirrors and photos, would you still dress?

    Yes, no question. Quick, easy, and cheap photos have only been around for 20 years or so.
    Last edited by Lisa Gerrie; 12-15-2020 at 03:28 AM.

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    Total Dork GwenHerself's Avatar
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    I love this series of questions, Di! <3

    1. I have only really just started. I always suppressed my feelings, thinking they were wrong. Now, with the freedom to dress as I feel, I carve out moments to enjoy it as I prefer. Meaning, I'm not into just underwear, and I'm not into wearing my feminine clothes while looking like a man. I want to be a normal, average woman when I dress. It takes time to hide the 5 o'clock shadow and all, but if I had the removed, I would probably dress more often.

    2. FaceApp really is a good alternative. Gosh, I don't really know. Try to explain your needs to your spouse. Marriage is compromise, so there must be some win win situation. Maybe you have a special dress up room or something?

    The unofficial question: "if we didn't have mirrors and photos, would you still dress?"

    It would be so much easier to dress without those things. I would focus more on how I feel than on how I look.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    1. My dressing started when I was about 10, wearing my mothers tights (now called leggings basically). Over the years it basically continued in that vein. When running tights hit the market I was in heaven. My feelings were always there buy never went beyond what I just mentioned. When I separated from my first wife I finally began dressing, going out, etc. Now at 66 I have finally come to recognize and accept my true female self. Perhaps a bit late but it feels good to finally be honest with myself.

    2. My current wife knows, and while not crazy about it she understands so I can dress at my leisure.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Kay J's Avatar
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    Nice questions Di. For me starting out in the 50s i only wore garter belts or a girdle of some sort to hold up nylons and panties that lasted until the 90s then fully dress after that. Not into to much makeup!
    2. Under dressing is a big help and i find just being here on this forum with all the girls here chatting and listening is a lot of fun and learning!

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    Junior Member Amelia_Rose's Avatar
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    1) Do you still cross dress to the same extent as you did when you first started? For most who have been cross dressing for years, I am guessing you may have started with just wearing a bra, panties but now feel the need to fully cross dress . Are my assumptions correct ? What is your story?

    I would say I have definitely progressed. I definitely followed the "typical" path of starting with bras/panties, then whatever random clothing items I could borrow from sisters/cousins. Through the teen years, with all those hormones flying around, it was definitely much more of a sexual thing. Now that I'm grown and have my own home/life/money, I do full outfits and that sexual side is gone. It's just about experiencing the world through Amelia's eyes.

    2) Need suggestions .
    We have some members that for different reasons ( covid and both are home, agreement with wife, ect)
    That cannot dress .at all for some time now. I thought face app.....but I really do not know how that works, just being on here ( or does that make it worse?) So please suggestions that might help them .
    Thanks in advance for joining in.


    Faceapp can be good, especially in a pinch or if you want to experiment/imagine. But I would caution, as others have, about putting too much faith into it. You don't want to set unrealistic expectations for yourself for when/if you do switch to real world makeup, wigs, etc. I would say that yes, being on here or having some other outlet where you can at least talk to like minded people can help.

    And as far as the question if we didn't have mirrors and photos, would you still dress?

    Yes, but I can't really say what that would look like. Hard to deny that being able to see what others have done through their own photos has definitely shaped my own path, and I like to share what I'm doing in return for feedback and acceptance.
    Never forget that life is short. Whatever you believe, there's no guarantee of tomorrow or a second chance, so live your life the way you want! Be kind to yourself, be kind to others, and let's make this world a little brighter together!

  8. #8
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    1) Do you still cross dress to the same extent as you did when you first started? For most who have been cross dressing for years, I am guessing you may have started with just wearing a bra, panties but now feel the need to fully cross dress . Are my assumptions correct ? What is your story?
    I guess I approached things backwards...
    I started off so young that bras or makeup weren't even on the radar.
    I was more interested in the OUTER expressions of femininity. I wanted to be in a dress or skirt. What I had on underneath was of less concern - though slips added a nice feel.

    I would dress as completely as possible. No starting off slow for me. I "borrowed" stuff from my sister to slip into under the covers in bed (NO privacy - sharing the bedroom with two brothers). I "liberated" some dresses and slips from my grandparents' attic and stored them in an old abandoned house in the woods where I lived, so I could sneak out there and be a girl for a while.


    2) Need suggestions .
    We have some members that for different reasons ( covid and both are home, agreement with wife, ect)
    That cannot dress .at all for some time now. I thought face app.....but I really do not know how that works, just being on here ( or does that make it worse?) So please suggestions that might help them .
    Thanks in advance for joining in.
    FaceApp is a mixed blessing - for me.

    I positively LOVE the results of the filters. I look at the girl looking back at me and - WOW! Is that what I'd look like as a woman?
    It makes me wonder if I could look like that "for real" - and the old GD feelings get stirred up again.
    I have to get firm with myself and say that it's only a fantasy and my real-world circumstances will never allow me to achieve that dream.

    Still - it's fun to pretend - even if only for a few moments.

    I don't have any good advice for folks who are trapped in "can't dress" situations. Sorry.
    But I do think that chatting with each other in here can only help - if only to vent or commiserate.

  9. #9
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    1) Do you still cross dress to the same extent as you did when you first started? For most who have been cross dressing for years, I am guessing you may have started with just wearing a bra, panties but now feel the need to fully cross dress . Are my assumptions correct ? What is your story?
    Bra & panties? Nope!

    First thing I ever wore were my GG neighbor-friend's black patent Mary Jane flats, back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. They came in a cute pink shoebox. She thought it was hilarious! I just really liked them -- especially on *my* feet. So adorable!

    In fact, I also wanted to wear her white tights to go along with them. And hopefully one of her frilly dresses? Alas, it didn't go that far. I didn't speak up, as I didn't want to press the issue, and part of me was a bit embarrassed. Secretly, I wanted to have all that for my own.

    What's a 5-year-old to do, though?


    My first true love was tights, truth be told. Sadly, no other female in the house, except my mom. Luckily she owned some super-stretchy opaque tights that were small enough for me to more-or-less fit. I'd "steal" them, wear them for a while, then put them back as I found them. I used to love going through her clothes-drawers, picking out different tights. Eventually, as I grew a bit older, I *would* steal them -- and hide them in my room. She knew. She used to find them sometimes. Once I even got caught red-handed trying to steal some of her stuff... That was a bit confusing. We had "a talk," just me & her. She was cool enough about that, though I wish she had been more supportive, like buying me some of my own. I was 8 years old at the time. And no, I never stopped stealing them, even after that.


    Eventually, the tights weren't "enough." I also wanted skirts & dresses to go with them. Mom's were too big for me. But as a creative & resourceful kid? I made do. You'd be surprised at what kind of things can be transformed into those... Winter hats, pillowcases, t-shirts, shorts, a book-bag, etc. All you needed were some scissors, a needle & thread, some sewing skills & a dash of ingenuity.


    Anyway, that's how it all started. Though even then, I remember when I was at least 4 years old, if not younger, of being *very* attracted to girls' & women's clothing... The fabrics, the styles, the colors, the prints. Just *everything*! And if I had a sister, particularly an older one? Yeah, I would have started even younger, and it would have been waaaay more often.


    I could go on & on... Like, I used to have pretty long hair for a boy. Hated getting haircuts. And at age 13? I started experimenting with my mom's make-up, when no one was home. Fortunately, all her shades looked good on me... The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


    So, it did progress, in fits & starts.

    These days? I don't do the whole en-femme thing anywhere as often as I used to. First, there's no real "need" as much. Second, it's just easier & quicker, less of a hassle, to simply "guy-mode" it. Relatively speaking? Throwing on some panties, leggings, a top & a hoodie doesn't take much time or effort, really. Which allows me to dress way more often.


    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    2) Need suggestions .
    We have some members that for different reasons ( covid and both are home, agreement with wife, ect)
    That cannot dress .at all for some time now. I thought face app.....but I really do not know how that works, just being on here ( or does that make it worse?) So please suggestions that might help them .
    Thanks in advance for joining in.
    Personally, I'm all set with FaceApp or whatever. For me, it would probably set off some dysphoria that otherwise wouldn't rear its ugly head. And I really don't want to compare reality to what "could have been" had I been born a GG, or transitioned at a young age, or whatever. Some things are better left unknown to the eye & mind, IMO.

    As for those who "can't" dress these days? I'll skip the obvious, like having conversations with one's SO. Instead, I'll suggest something else...

    Athletic wear has come a long way. *Some* lines are being blurred there. For example, they do make athletic leggings for MEN, in all kinds of colors & styles. And if the wife doesn't care for that? Oh, well... Sorry, these were purchased in the *men's* department!

    Seriously, look into men's athletic wear, nowadays. It may not be the whole kit-&-kaboodle, but it may scratch some of that itch...

  10. #10
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    I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to get on the Internet and buy a wig, boobs, butt padding and all the clothes and makeup, I started gradually. It has been a progression.
    Krisi

  11. #11
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    1) has it progressed??
    Oh yes! I began at age 5 with mom's underwear. Now retired I have a closet full of beautiful clothes and dress daily. I'm nearly full time at this point. Not quite as there are family that are unaware and wife prefers it that way.

    2) When I couldn't dress (before wife found out) being here, learning from others, reading all the posts definitely helped with the isolation.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  12. #12
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    Ellbee. My first love was also tights. I remember my mother had a pair of awesome blue ones that I used to wear when she was not around. Today I live in my leggings. All colors, styles, etc. I think i'm approaching 80 pairs.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    1) I was twelve years old and got into my late step mother?s clothes up in the attic. I would spend the 45 minutes per day up there before a younger sister got home. Mostly skips, garters, girdles, stockings and bras. I dress more now when circumstances permit and feminize daily.

    2) I would fit this category as I am unable to shop or dress under our current situation except for underdressing, shaving and nails. Being on here can be a bit of a challenge at times reading the exploits of those who are free to come and go as they please. I have to remind myself that they?re expressing their happiness and not singling me out for not demanding my freedom.

    While I appreciate the concerns about those of us who are restricted it is our personal burden to bear. The way I see it we have to decide what we want more, family or the freedom to dress and then act accordingly. We can only look for suggestions here but we are the ones who must live our own day to day existence and make those final decisions.

    When I mention that we have the choice to make I was assuming a negative reaction. That is based on the experiences of others and a few conversations with my wife. I don?t know what the outcome will be if I have a second talk but we have to assume the outcome has a good chance of being negative.
    Last edited by Star01; 12-15-2020 at 09:37 AM.

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    Di,
    I'm sure you're fully aware of my story , the scary bit is finding out it will progress but not knowing how far .

    When I was trapped in the closet it was tough so I can sympathise for those who can't dress . I guess I was lucky as I had my darkroom at home , often spending hours printing weddings . The family knew not to interrupt me so and the door couldn't be opened because of ruining the sensitive materials , so it was fairly safe to dress even when I knew the family were at home .

    I did play around with my photographs on Photoshop but nowdays I don't have the need being full time .

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    I'm lovin' this series of questions...

    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    1) Do you still cross dress to the same extent as you did when you first started? For most who have been cross dressing for years, I am guessing you may have started with just wearing a bra, panties but now feel the need to fully cross dress . Are my assumptions correct ? What is your story?
    Your assumptions are correct in my case. I started out trying on a few pairs of my wife's panties in my mid-fifties. I didn't like hiding it so I talked to her and she ended up choosing the first of my now-huge selection of panties. In the last ten years, my collection of dresses, skirts, leggings, shorts, etc... has grown to fill several drawers and a couple of closets in our empty nest house. She's recently started complimenting many of the things I choose where she would have just reluctantly accepted them a couple of years ago. A string of faux pearls was my last addition. She started out just being baffled that I'd like them but has actually said she liked them over the last couple of weeks.

    My wife and I share a small closet of casual dresses (everything else she owns is pretty much off limits without specific discussion). There are several things on my purchase bucket list that I haven't pushed for. She's given pushback on a few things. I tend to acknowledge her discomfort while also acknowledging my taste and certain things get put on the back shelf until the comfort level is mutual. It's worked for us.


    2) Need suggestions .
    We have some members that for different reasons ( covid and both are home, agreement with wife, ect)
    That cannot dress .at all for some time now. I thought face app.....but I really do not know how that works, just being on here ( or does that make it worse?) So please suggestions that might help them .
    Thanks in advance for joining in.
    I was retired and pretty much a homebody when it all started. My wife accepts what I wear in the house. I have total sympathy for those who have openly disapproving spouses but I have no insight into what might be done to change it.

  16. #16
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    1) As a middle teenager I dabbled in my mother's lingerie draw. I wore her bras, the most awful granny panties, slips and hosiery held up with a girdle. I went through a lot of self loathing. Back in the early 1960's it was proclaimed that any male who wore women's clothing was a homosexual. That was really confusing since I lusted over girls and movie starlets. Totally uninterested in males. My forays into my mother's attire ended when I outgrew her sizes.

    Fast forward to being married. My desire for nylon was rekindled. My wife and I did incorporated my wearing my own nightgowns and hosiery into the bedroom; "kinky" sex. When our first child was born she has me not to wear a nightgown as often as I did. Our son's crib was at the foot of our bed in our one bedroom apartment. She was not against my wearing the nightgowns. She just did not want our toddler seeing it. I thought that was reasonable. It was not until about 1983 when our second child opened the bottom draw of my armoire and yanked out a Vanity Fair red bra. At that time I had a small collection of slips, nightgowns, hosiery and garter belt and the one bra. We had "The Talk" and went into DADT.

    My wardrobe has grown immensely; 162 dresses, hundred of slips; hundreds of panties, wigs and heels. My wardrobe is kept in about twenty Xerox boxes stacked in plain sight. If she knew the extent of my wardrobe she'd either just shake her head or blow a fuse. I'll let you know if she ever decides to investigate. For me it is all or nothing. I am way past grabbing "crumbs of time." Since my wife and I sleep apart due to medical reasons (bad back) I am able to wear a nightgown and panty. My wife fully retired last year. Enter Covid. No opportunity for any Stephanie time.

    2) I keep my sanity by participating in this site. I do peruse the women's sections of on-line stores and ebay. My wardrobe is extensive and I have not bought any dresses for almost two years. I still buy some things; a new nightgown in blue; a double layer black slip. My slip collection is vast. My first love was slips. I also "keep my head in the game" by "collecting" panties of my favorite Vanity Fair styles. I know I will never wear all those panties. To me, it is more like collecting stamps and coins. In one style I have more than 100 shades of color and prints.

    I am waiting for Covid to pass so my wife can babysit our grandchild over night at our daughter's apartment thirty-five miles away.

  17. #17
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    1) Since I was tiny when my first interest in feminine apparel manifested itself, my early clothing choices were outer wear; things waaay too big for me found in the "rag bag" as another poster reminded me we called it so long ago. Silkiness and softness were the big draw for me, then as now. Even in my male life I am a very tactile person, drawn to costume. Recently widowed, I am finding that almost all of my at home time, and that is most of the time thanks to covid, I am dressed as a woman, except for makeup or a wig. Where this is going I am exploring with my grief counselor, who I specifically chose for having been trained in transgender issues.

    2) Apart from actually dressing, having someone to talk to about all this messy, complicated and isolating crap is a big help. I am lucky to have a trans friend, just one town over. We used to meet for lunch, but now we are restricted to phone calls, or the occasional walk. Just like having a grief counselor that I don't have to educate, this does more than anything else to take the pressure off.

    I realize many cannot do this, but Face app to me is like putting on makeup real time when you can't go out. It may be interesting, but in the end the frustration is still there. I personally think this site is better for us than Face app. At least we are dealing with others who share our problems. Seriously, though, If you can, find someone to talk to.

    3) Thanks, Di.
    Last edited by April Rose; 12-15-2020 at 11:09 AM.
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  18. #18
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    My recollection is I was 5 or 6 when, while playing dress up with next door sisters, I tried on a pair of pantyhose. That was the trigger. For years, I underdressed with only pantyhose, nylons or thigh highs and panties. I wasn?t interested in much else. I told my to be wife, who, happily saw no problem. In my late 20?s, I began showing an interest in wearing things I never wore, or were interested in, primarily bras. My dressing became definitely progressive. I worried about what my wife would think as I progressed, but thank goodness, she accepted and became my primary tutor. I now have a most complete wardrobe of lingerie, skirts, dresses, tops, pants, shoes and wigs. I, sometimes am indecisive about what to wear. Sound familiar? My only frustration is my limited going out....small town, nosy gossipy neighbors. Getting caught would definitely not be good.

  19. #19
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    1) Do you still cross dress to the same extent as you did when you first started? For most who have been cross dressing for years, I am guessing you may have started with just wearing a bra, panties but now feel the need to fully cross dress . Are my assumptions correct ? What is your story?
    For me it was panties and pantyhose from the onset of puberty until I got married
    at that point everything got put on hold, until years later. I could not trust my wife to keep the secret
    I was a very well know business man in the area, doing work for over 150 car dealers and
    an unknown number of independent garages. I was known by a lot of people.
    And my wife could not be trusted at all to keep that secret. I certainly could not risk
    my reputation or my business with this coming out.
    Later on as time went on, the business closed, and I didn't have so much to loose.
    I told my wife and started with the panties and pantyhose again.
    As time went on and I was feeling more free to be myself.
    I started buying dresses, bra's and body briefers.
    then to make the look right of course needed breast forms.
    That is where it all stopped, I have no desire for the wigs and makeup.
    I do have a few wigs, but they are uncomfortable, and I look real phony with them on.

    2) Need suggestions .
    We have some members that for different reasons ( covid and both are home, agreement with wife, ect)
    That cannot dress .at all for some time now. I thought face app.....but I really do not know how that works, just being on here ( or does that make it worse?) So please suggestions that might help them .
    Thanks in advance for joining in.
    This does not apply to me, Living alone for almost 4 years now, I can pretty much dress as I please
    When I was married and I needed time, I would sneak to my office in the middle of the night
    when everyone was sleeping. I could usually get an hour or so of much needed time
    Not to say that is the right thing to do, But that was how I coped.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  20. #20
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    1. I always dreamed of the full look with shoes, wig and dress, but could only realize it a couple years back, buying my own stuff at more than 50.
    2. The agreement with my wife is that I can go the full nines, but limit dressing to twice a year (she offered me a few options and I went for this). Because she's very uneasy with the crossdressing, I do it during a half day where we split the flat in two, my zone, her zone. This way I am free to do what I like and she doesn't have to see it, we manage to avoid any line of sight, I try to be discrete with heels, everyone makes efforts. With this modus operandi the COVID doesn't change anything.

  21. #21
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    1. Started at 5 years old with a pair of nylon stockings, underdressing at 9, messing with step mom's lingerie at 13, coming out to wife at 20, on the back burner for much of our child rearing days with the occasional underdressing and bedroom play. About 5 years ago full glam makeup, wigs, dresses, shoes and out the front door.

    2. Argh. Pretty much in the same boat as far as not getting out. Government recently invoked a hard Covid lockdown. Most public places are shut down. Couple of grown children hanging around the house who don't know about my dressing. I had some plans for outings, but nothing is happening right now. Not a happy camper.
    Last edited by sweetdreams; 12-15-2020 at 01:06 PM.
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  22. #22
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    1. I dress more and have more clothing than I did years ago, so I dress completely most of the time because I can. Also my wife is on board so I dress when I want too, pretty much every day.

    2. Sorry, not much help there!

  23. #23
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    1) When I first started pre-puberty it was "borrowing" mum's heeled shoes and pantyhose. After puberty it was pantyhose and bras. When I first realised I was CD rather than a bit kinky (2004) I would wear my wife's old clothes, with her knowledge, plus my own panties.

    Now I have far more femme clothes of my own, mostly bought in online sales. In fact I have more femme clothes than male, more femme shoes than male, a large number of panties but zero male underwear, all my socks are femme or unisex. I still have enough male clothes to wear at pretty much any occasion - though most of my shirts, trousers and jackets are in the loft. I can dress more or less every day but I have days when I feel a need to present as male.

    2) For UK CDers, I know that the mental health unit at our (then) local hospital offered a safe space for CDers to present as female. This is of course free through the NHS - a referral from your GP would be required. Opportunities to access this facility may well be restricted during these times of Covid.

    I love using FaceApp as a pure fantasy piece of escapism. I understand that for some its use could be a problem with triggering GD.

  24. #24
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    My dressing is definitely an evolution. I start at 4 with mom's bra, and at 9ish I remember wearing my sister's panties. In my tweens and teens it start more dresses and skirt then underwear and pantyhose. Now I usually only dress when I fully dress.
    As far a part 2. All I would do is hang out here and share in other's adventures.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    1) First started it was just nylons. Years later started wearing a dress, then added proper shoes, panties, bra, and wig. Now started playing with make up and eyelashes, and better false bobs. Started with pics of just from the hips down, now full body.

    2) I just encourage discussion. It feels so good to know that you can tell someone about what you're doing and how you're feeling and they respond in an understanding way.

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