How far would you go to be "YOU " ?

[Teresa]

This question came out of a thread in the NB section and my reply to another member .

The point being made was only wearing forms or whatever with the agreement or acceptance of the wife/partner .

From my personal perspective I don't consider myself going OTT because full time has meant finding a balance to achieve an identity , I still love my heels but I also love being accepted as a woman in the RW .

I could be wrong but I feel many members wouldn't be OTT if they were allowed to find a balance , what they truly felt comfortable with . I also think when you reach that stage the wife / partner might find it perfectly acceptable .

I appreciate this question assumes members want to be out in the RW or at least comfortably out of the closet . I also appreciate to some it is sexual so OTT is their ultimate goal given the opportunity .

[Angela Marie]

Forgive my ignorance Theresa but what is OTT?

[Teresa]

Angela,
Sorry OTT is over the top !

[cindylouho]

Maybe I'm even more ignorant than Angela, but by OTT do you mean going out with a 4" mini-skirt, 5" heels and 6 lbs of makeup?

[Teresa]

Cindy,
I mean the whole package to be " YOU " If you were totally free what would your final balance of your look be , on a daily basis would you really want or need to wear high heels and have enormous boobs .

Star,
I feel you get my point . I must admit I've not given up on clubbing or partying the night away , I love my dancing too much even at 69 .

Geena ,
Is that your choice or the choice you're allowed to make , the reason I ask this question is without those restraints .

OK if I give myself as an example my avatar picture was taken in an art room full of people , for me to be " ME " I wore the blue sweater and a denim skirt with 2" wedges . I was possibly the only one wearing a skirt that day but it felt OK .

[cindylouho]

Dressing like a tart is something I'd leave for the bedroom, Halloween parties, or a trip to Vegas. I'd like to look sexy but classy, like Rachel Green from the TV show Friends. Expanding on this idea, if I had the dough to spend I'd have my nose, lips and eyes done, and would definitely consider breast implants as well.

[Star01]

Star,
I feel you get my point . I must admit I've not given up on clubbing or partying the night away , I love my dancing too much even at 69 .

If your back, knees and hips allow you to dance at 69 by all means enjoy your nights out.

[Geena75]

Cindy,
I mean the whole package to be " YOU " If you were totally free what would your final balance of your look be , on a daily basis would you really want or need to wear high heels and have enormous boobs .

Star,
I feel you get my point . I must admit I've not given up on clubbing or partying the night away , I love my dancing too much even at 69 .

Geena ,
Is that your choice or the choice you're allowed to make , the reason I ask this question is without those restraints .

OK if I give myself as an example my avatar picture was taken in an art room full of people , for me to be " ME " I wore the blue sweater and a denim skirt with 2" wedges . I was possibly the only one wearing a skirt that day but it felt OK .

It is my choice, and I'm pretty content with it. As far as how I would dress in public as Geena; I've always been a fan of legs in nylons, so I would want a hemline above the knee. I don't think huge bobs enhance Geena, so I'm happy with 'C' cup. Except for the mask, I'm pretty much there, take away about 10 lbs. or so.

[Pumped]

Maybe I'm even more ignorant than Angela, but by OTT do you mean going out with a 4" mini-skirt, 5" heels and 6 lbs of makeup?

So........most of my pictures I post?

I like over the top, no plans to blend in and pass, so bodycon dresses and crazy heels are my favs!

[Star01]

I am more of a blend into the woodwork than over the top type of person. I prefer to spend quiet evenings at home and live close to an hour from the downtown Minneapolis night scene, something I would not be drawn to regardless of how I dress. Often with me it's not so much about the clothes as feminizing my body by shaving, coloring nails, and underdressing to the extent that I am able. I think more about actual physical changes than any item of clothing and am not sure where that puts me on the crossdresser spectrum. Regardless of my place I am not an OTT person and rarely go out at night anymore. Reading about the strong desire with many of my fellow forum members to get out and mingle leaves me feeling like I'm missing out on something but then I remind myself that if I had absolute freedom to do whatever I wanted I'd probably still be sitting home on Saturday nights. Probably in a dress and openly enjoying the experience but I'd still be sitting at home. That is just my personality and age coming out as I think a lot of people get clubbing out of their system by the time they reach 69.

[Jean 103]

Pretty far I would say.

Wearing heels and mini skirts is one of the things I'm known for and one of the reasons I'm so popular.

I live in the real world, as Jean and have been for years now. Pretty much all my friends are GGs including my Best friend. I have boyfriends. These are long term relationships that I have developed, not by blending and hiding, but by being me.

[Geena75]

Given that the 'You' ('Me?'), in my case, is my unvarnished self; not very far at all. How far would I go to be 'Geena' though; so far I have shaved my legs in the past, shaved some chest hair for the sake of my favorite dress, and slacked off on some less important chores. My farthest reaching fantasy, at present, would be to pass enough to take a drive and put gas in the vehicle.

[Angela Marie]

Thanks Teresa. Now that I know what OTT means I can reply. I love leggings and wear them often with a sweater or lighter top depending on the weather. I also like to wear short, tight dresses. At 5ft 6 135 I think I can pull it off. I am 66 so no way am I a spring chicken, but I think my petite size allows me to wear clothes a woman with a bigger build might not be able to.

[AllieSF]

If ya got it, flaunt it!! Enjoy life because it is just too damn short. We seem to die when we finally learn how to enjoy it. Start early and enjoy longer!

[Ressie]

I could go OTT (as Madonna would say) at the right venue. But I haven't kept it real low key either. I had a sexy sister and it's rubbed off on me somewhat!

[Brandi Christine]

What exactly is OTT, a woman getting dressed up for going out to the club or for her husband? Then yes I love to do that (the dressup part at least...). But for the last few sessions I was more into being able to go out and be somewhat accepted (Not that I really did that, still too afraid) so I dressed in jeans and wedges/sneakers and cute tops. I found a comfort level that I really liked.

[Teresa]

Brandi,
I had to smile at your statement , " Damsel in Distress " . I don't know if you've heard of the label but I have a black , long sleeved daydress from the company " Damsel in a Dress "

You could add to yours , Damsel in Distress but happily Damsel in a Dress !"

Sara,
I asked the question accepting most might give me the same answer as yours , when I first joined the forum I thought that would be the goal of most CDing members , it's been an interesting journey .

I confess I do like OTT sometimes , there are just too many lovely clothes and shoes to ignore making a splash sometimes .

[ShelbyDawn]

There can never be a single answer to a question like this, it will always depend on the motivations for dressing each individual brings to the table.
Personally, I feel I'd be in line with Teresa, I just want to be comfortable and express who I truly am, no 6" stiletto's or micro mini skirts, although I do get compliments on my legs, and no overdone makeup, my personal style is not too flashy, but I do enjoy looking good and given the opportunity to dress as I wished, would do the same, just more skirts and cuter shoes, yes, lots of cuter shoes...

[SaraLin]

If you were totally free what would your final balance of your look be , on a daily basis would you really want or need to wear high heels and have enormous boobs .

Well If I were TOTALLY free, I like to think that I'd be seeking to pretty much blend in as "just" another woman in the crowd. Of course, it'd be a plus if I could be a pretty or least attractive, but I'd be content with people not looking at me with a "what's that?" or "hey, that's a dude!" or any such reaction. I just want to be "one of the girls".
If, besides freedom, I had the resources, I'd probably pursue more medical options as well...


OTT? not for me. I lack the confidence and have no desire to be in the spotlight.
I belong in the audience, not on the stage.

[Cheryl T]

Decades ago I would have been OTT for sure.
Now that I'm out to many, have full support of my spouse and go out when I wish I've found it's more "average woman".
I'm just trying to be me in the world and not be the standout. I don't really care if I'm not noticed at all. In fact I think that makes me more "average".

[Jillcder]

When I look at way most GGs dress and I?m not criticizing but I would say I?m OTT. At this point with my dressing I only wear skirts and dresses when I go out shopping and like to present as feminine as possible. I know I don?t blend well but that is the thrill of it for me.

[GwenHerself]

I'm a gender blender. Not really interested in the OTT side of things, though I'm an introvert and don't enjoy the spotlight.

[docrobbysherry]

Teresa, maybe I didn't explain myself well. I never meant to dis your life style or choices at all!

Just wanted u and others here to realize that to many CD's and fetish dressers, THAT IS their real world!
Many of us could come out, present and live as women.

We just don't want to!

[Jane G]

I have never tried to push things with my wife. We love each other very much and perhaps she would except more but a I am comfortable with what is a DADT relationship at present. I was fully dressed just last evening when she came home from shift early. We hugged as she came in but I instinctively headed straight up and changed after that. It works for us and we are a team.

[Jean 103]

I sincerely doubt we have the same definition of OTT.

I actually got called on the carpet for being OTT. It was for my dress and behavior. She was right, I was out of control. Her words "if you're going to a dress like a lady then act like one".

A close friend and the bar manager, a small town bar. Locals hangout.

I was at the bar playing pool mid day, somewhat normal. I let this guy pick me up. I had a room down the street. When I returned by myself I was wearing a different outfit. I didn't know who he was and he picked me up. I guess he was a regular , a psychiatrist and I should have said no.


It wasn't that big of deal, but it was at the time to me.

I was just finding myself and stumbling along the way.