me and my partner are thinking about having a kid and i obviously dont want to hide it from any potential future child. But how do i integrate it without freaking out the kid as i think young kids dont get that it's the same person right? all tips welcome.
I have a friend that has a 3 year old son, and she just started hormones 3 months ago, and has been living 24/7 for longer. Just be you, your future child won't judge
"Samm" Sammara Michaels
I also speak fluent sarcasm
"Normal" is whatever a child grows up with. My father had certain sartorial choices that were very out of the norm for the community we lived in, but I wondered why other kids' fathers didn't dress like mine did, not why my father dressed differently. The most important thing is for your child(ren) to feel loved and secure. As for freaking the kid out by changing appearance from male to female, I don't know, but I can't see how it would freak the child out so long as you've met that basic requirement. Good luck!
Nancy
"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving
Your child won't care. S/he will normalise the crossdressing.
The problem arises with those who have an axe to grind: driving nonbinary gender preferences underground. Other children can be merciless with teasing.
It's up to the two of you to make the choice. Registered (licensed) Social Workers or the local equivalent are an excellent resource provided they don't have an axe to grind.
Prejudice is a 100% learned phenomenon. If children are prejudiced, someone taught them to be that way. It's that simple.
cool thanks for the replies, i guess you girls are right i should just be me from beginning on.
Hi, Xemmax, Are you out with family and friends? This is an important consideration for the child. Young children do not keep secrets very well, and it can become a source of stress. If you are not out you may choose to keep it low key and more androgynous for the first couple of years. . In either case you can do it. I single parented 3 children from infancy to adulthood. The key is to keep your focus on what is best for the child.
Vale
Hi vale, yes I am out to family and freinds so it's cool on that front. Thanks for your input!Originally Posted by Vale
I went deep in the closet for 19 years. We co-raised a successful and productive person. Would do it again if I had to.
joank
Southern California
My oldest daughter realized she was a lesbian in her mid forties and got an amicable divorce. She has three children and it involved both living separately but nearby and continuing as best friends raising their kids together. Kids can adapt better than we give them credit for. You're very fortunate if you are able to live your life as you see fit without any objections from family. The biggest issues with little kids usually revolve around them trying to square their unconventional home life with friends and school mates who live in what are considered traditional families. They'll run into people who's world view differs from yours and it could even cause some issues that will need to be resolved with teachers and schools. It's sad that it sometimes has to be that way but I don't know what things are like in Germany. Here in the US heartland there are a lot of very conservative people but big cities on the coasts are entirely different than my location.
Child rearing is a learning experience that requires adapting to ever changing situations. I think you'll do just fine and the only difficulties will potentially come from outside the home.
In my experience children don't have a problem with it, it's their stupid parents. That doesn't last long, I wouldn't worry about it.
Basically once they know you and with a little time any of those problems go away.
I had a roommate with a 5 year old daughter. We became like sisters, so not the same.
But I was the lady of the house. I also would go to and return from work in guy mode. First thing I would do when I returned was change.
There was another roommate, my boyfriend.
She never had any problems with me, she is a great kid.
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