BTWimRobin I hate when that happens and it ends up being the UPS driver pulling into the driveway to drop a package. The panic is real.
BTWimRobin I hate when that happens and it ends up being the UPS driver pulling into the driveway to drop a package. The panic is real.
I only reference Charlotte (#13) for an example of what turmoil being a crossdresser can be. I went through a stage that lasted many years. I call it "grabbing some crumbs of time." Wife heads off to run an errand or attend a meeting and there are a few moments available to indulge oneself. There was nothing relaxing or fulfilling about it. I often sensed my wife was also thinking that I was crossdressing in her absence which was usually not the case. Maybe it came with age or change in hormones or whatever compels me to cross dress in the first place that I no longer "grab at those crumbs of time."
Fortunately, I am comfortable with my male self. Fortunately, my wife is not "trolling" me and trying to confront me with all sorts of negativity that I read about on this forum.
Stephanie47, I can relate to your decision to forego those crumbs of time. I am fortunate in that underdressing and a more feminine style of grooming keeps me sane between full dressing opportunities. I do not grab those bits of time but hold out for having the house to myself overnight and being able to shop in preparation earlier in the day. My experience has been that the risk of getting caught is created during those brief episodes. I would rather be able to take my time and enjoy it than not be able to focus on the enjoyment it brings to dress. I have been busted in small ways, most recently an eyebrow pencil fell out of my laundry basket. She asked me if it was mine, I mumbled to her to just throw it away and nothing more was said. Small things apparently must get a pass under her rules but fully dressed might not be so fortunate.
DADT works for us. I have my girl time and plenty of it. There is no worry of being caught out. If my wife comes home early, we hug and I go get changed. We will talk about each others days. But my dressing is simply ignored. I love to dance dressed or not. So we might talk about what I have been dancing to, but not my dress. The situation works for us. Has done for 40+ years now. My wife knows me inside out. I know her inside out. We both have our individuality. We both except and love who the other is. Doesn't mean life is perfect . Does mean we love each other and always will.
It just happened on Christmas Eve, my wife was at work and I was home baking a crumb cake to have on Christmas morning. I was wearing capris leggings and lost all track of time and my wife came home. She knows I dress and doesn't mind me dressing, within reason, in front of her. However, she hates leggings on women let alone her husband. So I apologize for the leggings. She said don't worry about it you're baking me a cake and I left the leggings on the rest of the day.
- Robin
Because life is too short not to.
It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.
Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!
My ex-wife was fairly accepting, but only to a point. She went down to visit her mother for a week and I made the mistake of taking pictures while I was getting dressed to go out, and then at a club. Normally I told her if I was going out but she didn’t answer her phone - reception is kind of spotty there and she wasn’t great about following up.
She found the pictures on the home laptop a while after she got home. She immediately assumed the worst. We were already on the rocks but she was very mean about it.
Yup it certainly is a come down when I realize that it's time to take off that dress or skirt again.
Now that's despite the fact that due to working from home on weekdays, I have several hours every day to dress up, which is a major improvement than before No matter how much time you have more is better!
I think it does help that when it's time to change back that it's women's jeans of jogging bottoms that I am reaching for plus a t shirt,
I do have to lose the bra and heels also
It was so intense that took me to out to my wife. In my ignorance at that time, I added the awful ingredient of being bisexual so those were three horrible days for both.
Since then I have all the freedom to dress whenever I want but just at home, that nobody would see me, don't tell to my kids (three married boys).
Soon I realized that it wasn't just dressing. I needed to approval from the world so dyspjoria now was stronger than before.
I can't understand that two people that vote for love can live with and elephant in the room so DADT for me wasn't an option.
Later I understood that my reality, as many here that don't know, was to transition. My transition had started many years before and not just when I got in HRT, but that's my journey of freedom.
I couldn't keep being an hypocrite, keep hiding and denying myself.
Living as who I am I found that is not about dressing, to dress is just an expression of who we are but the ignorance and the fear of the future don't let us see the reality.
Today my priorities are not what I'm going to dress today or what kind of make up, actually after year and a half on electrolysis I can go without make up at all, now my priority is to succes in business as a woman that many can realize that I'm a tramswoman.
Now my wife, family and friends tell.me are proud of me....
DADT? may be that's for others not for me....
HRT 042018; Full time 032019
Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
Breast augmentation surgery 012022
GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION
Heavy sigh... One last look in the mirror... Very happy I had this time...
Devi SM ,,, Nice story, thank you.
I find myself not getting so uptight about dressing at home. My wife knows that I will dress if left along for 8 hours. I would do it every day if she worked outside the home every day.
I am not nervous about being caught. I buy clothes at Macy's and pick then up at the store as opposed to UPS delivery. I think she got more upset with me spending all that money when she has not bought anything for herself in years. She is still the same size as she was 25 years ago.
I told her to buy clothes she needs to toss out something old. It also did not hurt that I bought her a big ring for Christmas this year.
I was hoping for a nice set of earrings and neckless set. Instead I got the outfit from Johnny Rose look alike contest. I will wear that once or twice a year but the earring would get a ton of use.
So, do I get upset when it is time to change back,.. hell yes.
Definitely not the typical DADT situation. I am not even sure it qualifies as DADT as she is fully aware and sees you dressed from time to time. I suppose it fits because you don't talk about it, but certainly on the fringe.Originally Posted by Jane G
Well I guess my answer is more along the lines that Candy mentioned. I am pretty happy being male and I love my opportunities to dress enfemme and be Teri. So there are times when my Teri time is great and I hate to stop and then there are times when, like Candy stated, that my earlobes get sore, my corset begins to feel tight, my feet start to ache from my shoes, my wig feels tight and so on and I am happy to jump out of Teri mode and get back to loose jeans and T shirt. Either way I am happy with my life and how my wife treats my dressing desire. I feel I am just one very lucky people to have the ability to be my male self and be Teri on occasion and my have my wife love and accept me along the way.
By the way I love shopping with my wife, and even in male mode its great fun to share with her looking at shoes and clothes discussing what we like and do not like. But like my time dressing, I do get to the point where I am happy to get to stop shopping and go home and loaf around the house.
My take on this question.
Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.
Well when I dress it’s usually for Drag so by the end of the night I’m usually happy to get comfy, especially if I’ve been performing.
hello Carla,
I try to dress appropriately for the situation - be that a suit and tie for a business meeting, shorts and a tee-shirt on the beach, under-dressed for a quiet weekend, glammed up in a dress and make up for a night in with my wife... and I'm just me inside those clothes.
each to their own!
luv J
I only change back to go to work.
The reaction......
Oh drat! :-)
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I usually know when the time is coming to change back, and see the whole changing back thing mostly as a mere inconvenience. I don't normally wear makeup or a wig, so I don't have some of the problems other members here do. There's one exception to that: a few years ago I went away on my own for three days, shaving my beard off and dressing completely en-femme, including makeup, nail polish, forms and a wig, every day. It was fantastic. On the last night I went to the theatre to watch a production of Hedda Gabler. I was wearing a lovely black dress, mid-heeled ankle boots, nice 15-denier black tights, and although I was alone (and about 6ft 8 in my boots) the theatre staff were very nice to me. I got no stares or rude comments, and felt a million dollars. When I got back to my hotel room that night and had to pack my clothes away ready to leave the next morning, I felt as though I was leaving behind a person I really wanted to be with. My heart ached. That's the first time undressing had made me feel like that, but I'll never forget it.
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