She wanted to talk

[Maria 60]

Yesterday morning still on Covid work schedule I was dressed pretty watching TV and my wife came from her bedroom/ home office to sit at the kitchen table to spend some time together since she was having a slow day.
She made a comment how much more relaxed and focused I am when I get my dress time, and is amazed how I do my chores more relaxed and patience and put that little special touch when I'm dressed.
She then asked me to join her at the kitchen table so we could have some small talk. She again made a comment how much happier I seam when I get my dress time, and then asked me when or if things ever get back to normal if I would like to maybe indulge more in the dressing. She asked if i would like to maybe go to a club or bar dressed, and she wanted to ask me a few questions first. She said that now I will go to a bar with a buddy and watch a game and have a few beers and small talk but can't imagine me with me with my already shy personality walking in a bar dressed and making any small talk with anyone. I told her I wouldn't just jump in the ocean and that I would have to probably find a support crossdressing group and maybe go out with them. She said now I sit at a bar macho man with legs open talking sports or work or the women that looks so hot and how will I be when I'm wearing a dress and heels with legs crossed, what would I talk to another CDer about. We agreed we don't want to tell the kids and complicate the family, so besides talking fashion how much of my personal life do I want to disclose to another person when I don't really want my male life known, what would I talk about as Maria?
Her next concern was that there are men who are attracted to crossdressers and if a man did give me attention what would I do. I guess I dropped my head at that time and she told me not to be embarrassed or shamed about anything and maybe it's better to be honest and we have this discussion now because we are both in unknown territories but maybe if I was honest we could work out some boundaries. She pointed out that when I go on my Friday drives I definitely dress to get attention and if I was at a bar with alcohol involved and a man did show me attention would I let him touch me and how far would I go.
I desided to put the cards on the table and be straight with her and told her I probably would like a man feeling my legs or just feeling around. She asked about a kiss and I told her I'm not attracted to men and never even thought of that, she got a bit more personal in which I won't mention here unless I want this post removed. So she said in not to many words I just would like to be felt up and the line would be drawn there and she made a joke about Maria would be like a tease.
By the questions she was asking I could tell this wasn't something she just woke up with, the questions she was asking were a sign that she has been thinking about this for a while.
She did admit that maybe with the Covid it made her rethink things and if we get though it that we should start fullfilling our dreams or fantasies.
I knew she was very serious because one of her questions was, would I go dance with a man or if a man was trying to put his hand up my dress what would I do, I told her jokingly it depended if he was buying drinks. She didn't laugh and just staird at me serious, I told her I knew I didn't answer a lot of her questions because I don't know myself how I would act, or talk or even react to any kind of advancement made. All I could tell her was speculation, things I guess you just to know until your in the situation and really till that moment I never even thought about.
Her point was she sees a split personality, she points out when I'm doing something dressed I'm much more feminine and doing the same chore not dressed my body actions are different.
I guess this is a question I can't answer until I do it, but can anyone here educate me alittle and maybe tell me, how do you talk or talk about when dressed. Does it become a split personality and how being a Hedrosexual male does that change when dressed because after all we are presenting as a women.
Well it is great having a open communication with my wife and talk about these things openly, but her assumption that is freaking her out and freaking me out now is will my Maria see things in a different way when all dressed up and maybe I will do something that would be against my male morels. It looks like she wants to help me take a step forward but is scared what's going to happen if we put the car in drive and reverse won't be a option anymore. Can anyone in light me alittle on how those first times out as a women were, if it was awkward or how the transition was.