It's been a year since the wife found out about me dressing Wich was rough to say the least.After a few long talks and a month or so she decided to have DADT situation.Now the other day started asking things like why wear women's clothing why shave your legs etc.When I try to answer the questions it leads to I don't want to hear it and I don't want to see it FRUSTRATED
Hello Sara and welcome to the forums,
The reactions of your wife that you describe seem in line with how a lot of wives react to learning of their husbands cross dressing. She is likely confused and she wants to know just as much as she is afraid to know. The best advice i could offer is communication and honesty. Let her know that you love her and are willing to answer any questions that she may have but do not try to force the situation. Going to counseling together would probably help with the communications if she is ready and willing. You could see a counselor yourself for advice and for dealing with the current turbulent situation.
Welcome again.
Rachel
Hi Sara, Welcome to the forum.
Did your wife find out about your dressing by accident? Had you already been married when she found out? It's great that you had some long talks with her. Everyone processes a new revelation differently. I can see why you are frustrated. However, it's probably on her mind a lot and as long as she continues to ask questions, I would take that as a good sign. Be patient and answer everything honestly. Communication is a good thing.
I think as much as we sometimes struggle with doing this, the spouse struggles more. You are doing the right thing in being communicative and honest, and caring. Allow some time, and be willing to give in on some things. When you think about it, DADT doesn't allow for progression in crossdressing. Taking noticeable steps forward can be the equivalent of 'telling.'
What's the answer to her questions? When my wife and I had "The Talk" several decades ago she had the same questions. That was way before the internet was invented. No resource material. I fumbled around and blurted out something along the lines of "inner woman." She shot back "When you can have a baby tell me about your inner woman." To her my answer was nothing short of bullshit. We did have a discussion and I probably came to the conclusion and told her that I do not know why I feel the need to wear women's clothing. The why is totally different than how you feel when you wear women's clothing. When I analyze why I wear women's clothing it makes no sense at all to others. I risk all sorts of negative outcomes; loss of family and friends along with a wife; loss of social status; loss of employment; shunning. The negativity is endless. But, I still do it. Logic would say if this was an option I would not do it. But, yet there is that draw. It cannot be explained.Originally Posted by Sara1950
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