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Thread: Two things

  1. #1
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    SouthEastern Ontario

    Two things

    Do you underdress? I read on here many do. Sherlyn did not and always felt like her no matter what she wore.
    So I only encountered it reading here , does it help when you can not fully dress?Nothing wrong with it I just have not experienced it so do not understand it why would it help? Do you not feel like you! Clothing changes how you feel ? Enlighten me.

    2)It there a certain thing that when you put it on it makes you feel complete?
    Last edited by Di; 01-10-2021 at 08:17 AM.
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    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Jun 2016
    Northeast PA
    I underdress every day. Panties and sports bra. I've been doing it for about 10 yrs. Nobody knows. I also wear women's Old Navy Jeans that pass as men's. I work in a all Male environment so I need to be careful.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
    I under dress every day in panties and hosiery.

    Depending on what's going on at home I can be dressed as little as I want or a lot.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Cacique82's Avatar
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    Mar 2020
    1 I underdress in panties
    2 I don?t know about ?complete?, but when I put a silky nightgown at night on it feels right.

  5. #5
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Di: Most of the time I may be a lot like Sherlyn. In terms of identity I am mostly Gretchen most of the time anymore. And what I am wearing doesn't make much of any difference. That said I am not exclusively female-like as there is large dollop of male-like in there as well. I wear panties about half the time; maybe a little more. That has little to do with expression and most everything to do with comfort. Men's underwear tend to be made with a rougher fabric that reminds me that it is there; women's underwear, cotton or synthetic, tend to vanish when I put them on. Much more pleasant. I do sometimes wear a nylon sports bra type garment from Hanes. While under the prostate cancer treatment I grew a nice small pair of boobs (gynecomastia from androgen suppression) and I really don't like the feel of those under my clothes or how they look - a little containment makes a big difference. Does that link to a strong female-like identity? Kind of but it does not really provide much of a booster shot to that identity. It is just a matter of dealing with an issue with my morphology and anatomy. To me, gynecomastia boobs flopping around in your shirt is not very attractive and makes you look really older than you are, and at 75 I really am not interested in looking 80.

    In general I find women's casual wear to be much more comfortable than men's. Men's tend to be made of a harsher fabric while women's is often a softer fabric and perhaps better quality fibers.

    To me, underdressing is insignificant compared to clothing color. Men's clothes are, well, drab, although that is changing a little bit. Bright and intense colors are not as common in men's clothes. So for casual wear I much prefer the brighter more intense colors and the softness of the stereotypical, so called feminine colors. Color is devoid of gender, but gender embraces color. For a very long time humans have used color to make statements (body painting, decoration, and clothing) as well for blending in like camouflage. That has not changed.

  6. #6
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
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    Nov 2017
    Texas Hill Country
    Do you underdress?
    Yes, daily.
    Does it help when you can not fully dress?
    Yes always.
    Nothing wrong with it I just have not experienced it so do not understand it why would it help?
    Undressing is what smooths out the internal need in my head.
    I do not need to be fully dressed in female cloths to feel female. I am female internally in my head.

    Clothing changes how you feel ?
    No spending time to change in various outfits is a waste of my time. I dress casual and do my daily routine.

    2)It there a certain thing that when you put it on it makes you feel complete?
    After I put on my panties, the next thing is the bra that makes me complete and smooths out my internal needs.
    My cloths can be just everyday work cloths for working around my garden, landscape, shop, and feeding the goats.

    3) I currently do not require all the nice clothing to feel me / female. As I get older my needs are changing, but I am handling it for the most part. Would I go 24/7 if my internal feeling got worse - sure. Would I pass no.

    It is about managing the internal need.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Alberta, CA
    I have in the past much more than today. For several years now I wear panties 24/7. It feels more authentic. If I look at a pair of panties and a pair of men's underwear, I know what I want to put on. Nylon is much more comfortable than men's cotton underwear and a whole lot more feminine.

    Since I started going out in public fully dressed and presenting as female, underdressing has lost some of its appeal. I would rather put on a dress or blouse and skirt.

    We do have grown children at home who don't know about this and it hampers my desires. As a hidden compromise, I will sometimes wear camisoles, garter belts and stockings, around the house and it does make me feel complete. If I'm going out in public, I'd much sooner get fully made up and present as female.
    Why fit in when you were born to stand out? - Dr. Suess

  8. #8
    Member CD Rachel's Avatar
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    Mar 2017
    North Eastern Pennsylvania
    Hi, your question is a good one and caused me to spend some time in introspection. When I was young (say 5 to 27) there was a thrill associated with crossdressing. Under dressing then was a way to maintain that feeling and a way of feeling like I was getting away with something that was taboo. I stopped crossdressing to accommodate my wife when I had come out to her and she freaked.

    Later in life when my crossdressing had started again (around age 40) I did not under dress and that was the way it was up until 2020. More recently in the past few years (7 to 10) I have felt more and more uncertain about my gender identity and only recently have I come to accept that I am not who I thought I was. As I have come to accept that in myself my way of crossdressing has changed. I no longer feel like I need to dress up to the nines. Just dressing everyday female casual and I feel affirmed in who I am. During the past 6+ months I have been under dressing again just to keep a part of that feeling of affirmation. I have actually spent more time dressed female then male during this recent time (past 3 months) and am beginning to dread putting on the “boy” costume when I go to work or leave the house.

    There is no one thing that I can wear that makes me feel complete, but anything that keeps me from being fully in "boy" mode helps alleviate the discomfort of not being able to express who I feel like on the inside.

    My experience may or may not be typical and I am looking forward to reading the responses of others on this topic. I wonder are my feeling more like a crossdresser or more in line with a transgender?

    But thank you for raising this question. I have learned something about myself and have a little better understanding of the Ray/Rachel that is me.


  9. #9
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Jan 2019
    Near Boston, MA, USA
    Rachel - thoughtful post!

    I underdressed to sign my divorce papers. Matching... But had no one to tell!
    Last edited by Alexis00; 01-12-2021 at 05:10 AM.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2006
    Ohio, USA
    I am trans and older with a family, friends and a good job. The personal cost to transition is a price I'm not willing to pay. When I was young transitioning was not an option in our society. So, when I have to be in public, it's only in drab. Underdressing helps this in that I can pretend I'm a girl in boys clothes for work or whatever I need to do. Women do this every day in many roles. I wear as much as I can safely get away with. To me its my standard every day thing. If I had to go back to mens wear it would cause a major increase in stress and depression from dysphoria, which I've learned to manage the way things are.

  11. #11
    Banned Read only
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    Dec 2013
    I can't speak for everyone but for me it was pushing the boundaries , getting use to how the items felt while meeting other people . Wondering if they noticed and how they reacted . I gradually felt OK and more confident , mostly stepping stones to where I finally made it fully dressed and stepped out the door .

    OK it was possibly slightly erotic at times but that passes with time .

    After a while it's also a way of learning what is comfortable and what isn't , sexy underwear is lovely but it's doesn't work everyday , I like to be comfortable now .

    I now feel it's not crossdressing , male mode feels more like that as I feel more uncomfortable and awkward .
    Last edited by Teresa; 01-10-2021 at 10:20 AM.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Rachel, great post. What you wrote encapsulates how I feel. I, too, wonder if my feelings are more in line with being a crossdresser or a transgendered person.
    I do underdress. I was considering dressing as Jill (dressing and attempting to blend) today and going shopping, but COVID will keep me indoors. Besides, make up is too expensive to get dressed to the nines and only hang around the house.
    Last edited by Jill_cd; 01-10-2021 at 10:27 AM.
    "It is so easy to exist, instead of live. Unless you know there is a clock ticking."
    --Anna Quindlen, writer, journalist, columnist

  13. #13
    Member DanielleCD's Avatar
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    Jul 2018
    North of Houston, TX
    I will underdress on occasion... just panties and a bra. I'm a different person when I do this... part of my feminine aspect is soothed by this. Don't know why but I accept and enjoy it.

  14. #14
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Jan 2011
    Area Zona
    Really Di?

    I come on to the site with the intention of combining two thoughts in one post and the first thing I see is your post.
    Oh, I'm still going to do it. Trust me on that.

    1) I wear panties exclusively and I really don't know why. It doesn't satisfy any need or anything. And men's soft cotton Y fronts are actually comfortable.
    I just like wearing panties.

    2) There's a mirror on a dresser in my closet. After dressing jewellery and makeup, I select a nice wig, put it on and then turn and look in that mirror.
    Hello, Darling!
    Last edited by CarlaWestin; 01-10-2021 at 11:03 AM.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  15. #15
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK
    Quote Originally Posted by CD Rachel View Post

    There is no one thing that I can wear that makes me feel complete, but anything that keeps me from being fully in "boy" mode helps alleviate the discomfort of not being able to express who I feel like on the inside.

    Most days I will be under dressed in tights/holdups (winter wear) and knickers. Like Rachel, it's simply a way of staying in touch with that femme part of me as well as not finding male underwear that inspiring.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  16. #16
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    I used to but now 90% of my clothes are from the women's section so I don't consider it that any longer.
    I've worn only panties for nearly 20 years, all my socks, jeans and slacks (except for 2 jeans for dirty work), 3/4 of my tops and 80% of my shoes and boots are all from the women's section. Now with Covid I'm dressed daily so underdressing isn't a thing for me any longer.

    What one thing makes me feel complete?
    That would be my hair. Granted they are wigs, but once on everything just feel right.
    Wear something pretty every day !

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Oct 2017
    Now that I am alone I am dressing femme, sans wig or makeup, every day that I don't have any kind of appointment.

    I notice that, when I have to go out, but am reluctant to change, under dressing helps me get out the door. Sometimes I will just swap my skirt for a pair of slacks, put on an overcoat and out the door I go.

    Sometimes I wear my maleness like a straight jacket, and anything that mitigates that will bring some relief. It might be clothes or doing embroidery or buying flowers. I guess that means that, while I have no intention of transitioning, I'm not just a crossdresser.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  18. #18
    Silver Member
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    May 2009
    I underdress everyday to some extent, I wear panties every day and have for several years now and increasingly wear a bra under my male clothes, not everyday but it is increasing that is for sure

    I love to fully dress but work in a male dominated industry and it definitely would not be well received, so under dressing works for me, it makes me feel good

    I think the thing for me is, and always has been, wearing a bra, I feel at one with myself once I have one of my bra's on, but I feel complete when I have bra, panties, hold ups, dress and shoes / boots on that is what makes me feel at peace with myself, happy and content

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    I underdress daily. Panties, at least. Many of my socks are from the women's section, either sheer-ish or knee socks that would look good under a skirt. About half of my jeans are women's. Sometimes a bra or camisole under my shirt. Sometimes a pastel undershirt visible under my work shirt. If it's cold, leggings under my jeans.

    Why? At first it was a thrill, to get away with something. As I get more comfortable with myself, it's becoming an affirmation that I'm more complex than the manly man that the world expects and I have pretended to be for years.

    A particular thing? Panties.

  20. #20
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    I tried underdressing when I first started dressing in my 50's. But, it was uncomfortable and soon became unsatisfying!

    I dress all the way or not at all these days!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #21
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    Years ago I used to wear pantyhose under my clothes in winter, but since I am in a DADT relationship I do not bother any more. It is not worth attempting to wear something every day and get harassed over it when caught. I just have to dress up fully when the opportunity is available which for now is almost nonexistent.


  22. #22
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    Being sequestered, I dress every day and night. My favorites include panties and bra. When I go out, I?m always under dressed, as our small town wouldn?t understand or accept seeing me dressed.

  23. #23
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    1) Some days I do wear panties; white or black. Those colors will compliment the men's jeans I wear' black, blue and brown. I do not wear panties every day. Because I read so many on this site underdress I gave it a try. I donned a bra, panty, camisole, hosiery (pantyhose or stockings with a garter girdle. It actually did nothing for me other than be a bother when out and needing to go to the bathroom. I ditched that level of underdressing.

    Gretchen made a comment (#5) about men's clothing to be drab. Not so! That's the mindset of many males, especially in the business world. Look at any picture of the "power elite." Dull, boring and uniform in nature; white shirt and red tie. I worked in a governmental office for over thirty years. I was required to at least wear a dress shirt and tie. I did not wear a white shirt once. When I finally yanked it out of the closet it was tainted yellow from lack of use. Actually, tossed it in the garbage. To work I wore an assortment of solid color dress shirts that ranged from dark blues to light pastels. I also had a wide assortment of colorful ties with designs and sometimes cartoon characters which sometimes were selected to send a message. Now, as a retiree I wear graphic tee shirts and shirts with collars that have patterns. As to whether male clothing is less comfortable than female clothing is not born out by any visual observations I see. Men and women seem to wear the same jeans and shirts. Foot wear? All the same. I do agree a woman may feel more comfortable in the summer heat wearing a freely flowing sun dress after she tosses her bra. I think many women curse the crap out of a bra in summer heat. Same with the bikini top of a bathing suit all full of salt water and sand.

    I do not ascribe to the idea there is some mental differences between male and females. I know many men who would be termed weak because they show compassion, etc. These are not womanly or manly traits. They are human traits. Only insecure male wimps choose to not show these qualities.

    The clothing I wear as a male or as a woman are very similar; colorful and with patterns.

  24. #24
    Banned Read only
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    Nov 2004
    I think I can honestly say that all of my crossdressing, "underdressing" and all was self help dealing with my gender dysphoria before I came out.

    Oh yeah, the one item that always made me feel complete was putting on a bra. Because throughout history men have worn some equivalent of pretty much every article of womans clothing except for a bra.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 01-10-2021 at 03:55 PM.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Aug 2018
    I used to read about it on here but had not been doing it. I started wearing panties and that has become my daily routine with the only exceptions being when I'm doing big projects where I am bending over and lifting a lot. I don't want anyone who shouldn't to see flashes of pink and lace. As far as bras go they are uncomfortable and impossible for a grab and pay shopper like myself to properly guess the right size. Even if the unexpected happened and I fully transitioned I'd be like my wife and want to "free the girls" every chance I got. I don't think of bras as a necessity to make women attractive and by extension would feel the same even if I needed one. I do understand the need to wear one with many types of clothing and may have to do that someday depending on where this all leads me.

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