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Thread: Do you have a mommy?

  1. #1
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Do you have a Mentor / Mom?

    Don?t mean a biological or adoptive mom, but an older woman who kind of takes you under her wing?

    A few years out of college, became friends with a woman who went to a woman?s college and had studied gender issues. She kind of figured out what was going on with me, really made me think about being Transgender and how to cope when I was in denial. This was at a time when I really struggled with Shame and guilt, regularly purged, and freaked out over being clocked/read.

    Her attitude was that you should express yourself, and if you didn?t meet the expectations of others that was their problem, not yours. ?This is part of who you are.? Very helpful outlook.

    She had her quirks and was quite a character but helped me in many ways. Just got back in touch with her by phone, which is wonderful.
    Last edited by Alexis00; 01-11-2021 at 04:58 AM.

  2. #2
    Soccer Mom in Training MsEva's Avatar
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    Hi Alexis,
    No, never was blessed with a "mommy". It must have been nice to have that support. There is so little of it in the real world. Never found that there. But my dear wife of nearlly 40 years has been pretty supportive. She buys things for my girly side often and knows that when dressed I am pretty much above board and trying to present as a decent person. I do a lot of house chores while dressed. She has said that I don't need to change out of my girly things when she gets home but don't want to add stress to her life even though I know in my heart she accepts me. I hope you can rekindle your relationship. Everyone deserves to feel that there is someone in their corner.

  3. #3
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Even better!

  4. #4
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    No mommy but an older(by 5 months) sister! She invited me to a GNO in Houston! She helped me realize that I AM a transwoman and actually helped me decide to be 24/7/365! You know who you are, love you sis! Oh, I forgot she does not read this section! Anyway I am so grateful to her for my GNO! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    I am laughing, not at this post but because I'm 69 years old so my wife is the oldest woman in my orbit and she is a year younger than I am.

    I can see the value of having a GG friend. not in a romantic sense but for support and encouragement. Unfortunately, for some of us most older women are nursing home residents.

  6. #6
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    No for me, but I've made some great friends along the way these last few years.
    I'm glad you were able to get back in touch with your "mommy". That's awesome!

  7. #7
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I did not have any Mommies. I had people who helped me the first few times to go out. Funny thing, now almost 15 years after first dressing up as a woman, I am a full time trans woman who is mentoring a 36 year old transwoman take her first steps into the world and just deal with being herself. This is such a wonderful situation and feeling for me where I can help a visually disabled sister move forward. For me it is a way of paying back all those who went before us and made our lives just a little bit better every time.

  8. #8
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
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    Nope. Only my wife and people here know about me. I have mused the idea of finding someone....I would probably call a CD mentor, but the info here is pretty good. I try the things I feel feasible, sometimes with good results, sometimes meh.
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

  9. #9
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsEva View Post
    Hi Alexis,
    No, never was blessed with a "mommy". It must have been nice to have that support. There is so little of it in the real world. Never found that there. But my dear wife of nearlly 40 years has been pretty supportive. She buys things for my girly side often and knows that when dressed I am pretty much above board and trying to present as a decent person. I do a lot of house chores while dressed. She has said that I don't need to change out of my girly things when she gets home but don't want to add stress to her life even though I know in my heart she accepts me. I hope you can rekindle your relationship. Everyone deserves to feel that there is someone in their corner.
    my wife is much the same, but I dress in front of her all the time. She puts up with it well and even expects me to dress in the evenings. Once in a while I don't and she looks at me like "What's wrong?" She lovingly gives me crap about my outfits, and praises me when I come up with something she likes. Last night I came out in a button up shirt, tucked into a shiny bubble gum pink tight skirt with white tights with a pattern, and white heels, of course and the proper undergarments and padding. She took one look and said, "You look nice, I like the tights!"

  10. #10
    Member Brianne_bc's Avatar
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    My GF is my Mommie for those special times. I am so fortunate.

    No Heel is Too High.... When it's Pointed at the Ceiling

  11. #11
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    I respect everyone posting and I get it but personally those term/s are not for me....I like mentor lol and no I never had an older trans gender mentor but would had loved one.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  12. #12
    Member susanmichelle's Avatar
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    Don?t have a mommy but do have two gg?s that have encouraged me to be myself. As a matter of fact living with one of them now temporarily for the next 2 months. I?ve been at her place now for over a month and as a result of moving and have everything I own in two huge storage units I?ve been dressed as female 24/7 since all of my boy clothes were packed and I have no idea where they are. She has no problems with me dressing however I want. I get the occasional stare when we?re out somewhere lol like about a week ago we were in Walmart shopping we had split up to get what we needed and met in front of the store to check out. I was ahead of her she was behind me and another man. He made a comment about me with my leggings and my new Kenneth Cole ladies coat I purchased at Sams a few days before and she spoke up to him and said she has a nice ass doesn?t she. He gave her a disgusted face and then checked out and left. We laughed our asses off leaving the store.

  13. #13
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mbmeen12 View Post
    I respect everyone posting and I get it but personally those term/s are not for me....I like mentor lol and no I never had an older trans gender mentor but would had loved one.
    That’s fair. In fact added mentor to the thread title.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    No Mommie's here, No sister either.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexis00 View Post
    That’s fair. In fact added mentor to the thread title.
    Seeing that you are "near Boston" ...Barbara of Florence's Fashions in Wakefield,Ma has a HUGE family. Diverse range that came about from fully supporting the community as well as accepting all.
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  16. #16
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    No "mommy" and no older woman (sister or otherwise) to mentor me.
    Krisi

  17. #17
    Silver Member SherriePall's Avatar
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    Perhaps, I could say that a couple of SA's served as my "mommy" or mentors since they offered advice and friendship.
    Sherrie Lynn Pall

    Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.

    Please don't let me be the last post on this thread

  18. #18
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    No, I never had one in that respect.
    I think I had the opportunity at a very young age with my aunt, but was too scared to accept the help she offered.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    No 'mommy' here either. I did meet a crossdresser when I was like 19-20 yrs old and she was willing to play that role (I think) but I was waaaay too inexperienced and nervous and in deep deep denial still to accept myself. Still, I remember when saw her condo and saw how "normal" she was (life is life after all), I was taken aback. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't expecting her to be so "normal." That's how deep my denial ran--I was surprised by how everyday her life was.

    Now, well thank god for the internet, and the girls I've met here and on other sites, both virtually and in person. Every one of them has helped me in some capacity!

  20. #20
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Exclamation Yes, I had a mother. But, she never knew I dressed!

    I believe you're referring to a trans mentor? And yes, I had one of those, too!

    My first time out dressed I attended the SCC in Atlanta about 12 years ago. I knew this T woman from this site! She met me there, helped me, advised me, and introduced me around. Insisted I get my first and only makeover. I respected her a lot!

    She fully transitioned, married her trans girlfriend, and we stayed in touch on FB until she passed away last year.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #21
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I have a Drag mother, but that’s a different kind of relationship.

  22. #22
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    Nikki's DRAG mother is the only type of "mommy" I have ever heard of in this community, and as she said that's something different.

  23. #23
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    Closest I had was Phoebe Cross who runs A CD dressing service here in the Atlanta area. I went to her several times a year. She gave me the encouragement to buy good breastforms, makeup and wigs. She helped give me the confidence to go out in public and assurances that I passed. Now I do my own makeup and go out on my own and really enjoy being out as a woman.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    yes, had my wife by my side and we loved shopping together. we spent hours in the fine lingerie section, she would choose different bras and panties for me and would do the same for her...great fun and would dress almost every evening. .
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

    Rayleen

  25. #25
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    No but I could definitely use one. More like a mentor/friend than Mom type.

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