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  1. #76
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Monica

    Now this is very interesting. He knows you're a guy, he's friends with you as a guy. But, he clearly wants to be friends with you as a girl!!! Very curious!!!

    You go girl. You can have fun with this this multiple ways.

    Be a tease and lead him on.

    Give into his desires and see where it goes. Oh, then rat him out to his dad.

    Drop him like a hot tamale.


    Quote Originally Posted by Rikki Louise View Post
    "Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly; ..."

    From The Spider and the Fly, a poem by Mary Howitt
    Rikki

    Who's the spider and who's the fly in this case? It could work either way.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  2. #77
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    Ellbee, he is married to a very nice woman. I, too, am married to a very nice woman who does not accept anything about Monica. I also occasionally date men. It's terrible but it works for me.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Steffi,

    Thanks. We shall see where this leads. I enjoy the attention and the chase, but I have no interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone besides my SO. Besides, playing this kind of game with a newbie never ends well. They just aren't prepared for the flood of conflicting emotions and either flee or become a real pain. Been there before.

  3. #78
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    You are so right about the "confliction" ! That kiss has started it !
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  4. #79
    Member jessica33's Avatar
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    Your friend #1 is a cd admire?

  5. #80
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    Jessica, I don't think he is. As far as I can tell and from what he has told me, he's been a boring hetero married guy for the longest time. I think he is just intrigued and turned on by the fact that his friend has this secret alternative identity that he finds attractive. As I mentioned earlier, going down this path with a newbie admirer never ends well. They can't handle it well. I prefer to deal with more experienced admirers who are comfortable with themselves.

  6. #81
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    The cop might have been OK with telling the story but should NEVER have mentioned who it was he was talking about. You can do nothing. Or you could talk with him and let him know you know what he did and if he ever does anything like that again you will report him. Or you could just report him. Sherrii

  7. #82
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    I would agree with you, Sherri, but cops aren't attorneys or health care professionals, so there's no expectation of privilege when it comes to disclosing stuff like this.

  8. #83
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    Ellbee, he is married to a very nice woman. I, too, am married to a very nice woman who does not accept anything about Monica. I also occasionally date men. It's terrible but it works for me.
    Forgive me for not knowing your back-story, but...


    Is your wife aware of this "extracurricular activity"?

    If so, how does she feel about it?



    Anyway, I get it. Some of us, including me, found "being the woman" in a romantic/sexual relationship with a man to be interesting, eye-opening, exciting & quite enjoyable on a variety of levels.

    And as a "former mistress," I'm also familiar that some couples might be generally "okay" with one or both partners having safe occasional flings (or more!), and how the dynamics of such an open LTR/marriage may work, along with the reasoning behind it.


    IOW? I ain't trying to bash you or anything, hon.

    Just curious, is all.

  9. #84
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    Ellbee, I'd like to think that she is unaware, as it's something that I keep entirely separate from our life together. However, she is very bright and insightful. It's more likely that she chooses to navigate that river in Egypt.

  10. #85
    Member Valerie Louise's Avatar
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    Oh Monica is definitely the spider here. The guy started out clueless and somewhat the bully, and ended caught up in it ... just like flies.
    Last edited by Valerie Louise; 02-16-2021 at 01:02 PM.

  11. #86
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    I enjoy the attention and the chase, but I have no interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone besides my SO
    Monica, pardon me for saying, but you are already in a physical relationship with your friend, touching and kissing. Also, in these times of COVID, it seems to me that you are putting your wife to a great risk by kissing someone outside of the household and not telling her.

  12. #87
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    Diane,

    Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Feel free to add this to the list of terrible yet fun things that I do. You may find a Google docs spreadsheet useful for the endeavor.

  13. #88
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    This is so exciting. I can't wait to hear more about you and your friend #1 future outing.

  14. #89
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DianeT View Post
    Monica, pardon me for saying, but you are already in a physical relationship with your friend, touching and kissing.
    Monica

    Don't worry yet. You were a "good girl" and only let him get to first base.

    He, on the other hand kissed a very pretty woman that he has a strong reason to believe may be a man. He must be breathing the pink fog now.

    So, I'm not into men. I'll take a good woman any time, whether dressed or not, However, I have not problem with you liking men. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm a little "man curious" and just haven't found anyone cute enough,

    So, "Lola", if you like male attention, go for it. Just be prepared for monumental blowback from your wife if this happens. He's already told someone, so we know he can't keep a secret. If you run in the same social circles, he could accidentally or deliberately out you to your wife on two "offences".
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 02-16-2021 at 05:50 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  15. #90
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    Thanks Steffi. Just to clarify, he has known me as a guy for many years. There's no gray area there. We shall see where this all goes. Life is risk.

  16. #91
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Monica

    I understood that he knew that you were male. I was just being cute with my wording.

    I'm still trying to figure out what he is:
    Gay or bisexual
    Admirer

    I don't know what I would have done i I had been in you place. I think that I would have totally froze.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  17. #92
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Monica,

    It seems likely you might get a call for a follow up date seeing how the last meet up went. I am curious how long it will take. I bet he does not last a week before calling again. Keep us posted : )

    Sandi

  18. #93
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Monica,

    As I'm sure you are aware, many of us are from your parent's generation and that would shade opinions on your social choices. i.e. for me a kiss on the lips is a major thing (I've only kissed my spouse like that for the past 33 years, and only one other person about 8 years before that). But, my personal standards are for me, alone, and I won't cross that line.

    One curiosity, though. Is this friend someone you ever socialize with including spouses? I could see an intensely awkward situation. Regardless, I wonder if your relationship with this friend has become extremely complicated.

  19. #94
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    Geena,
    I embrace the fact that I am not a good person. I completely understand your point of view, and I would not challenge it. However, this is who I am and it's what I do. To answer your question, he has been over my house a few times to watch games in the past, along with other friends, but no interaction as couples.

  20. #95
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Monica, I wouldn't say you are not a good person (all in all, you seem pretty cool). Perhaps the phrase "free spirit" would better describe you. Like in so many things, I lean toward caution. But, I wish you well on this -- it does sound pretty exciting.

  21. #96
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geena75 View Post
    As I'm sure you are aware, many of us are from your parent's generation and that would shade opinions on your social choices. i.e. for me a kiss on the lips is a major thing (I've only kissed my spouse like that for the past 33 years, and only one other person about 8 years before that). But, my personal standards are for me, alone, and I won't cross that line.
    Geena, in case my post is being discussed here without being explicitly quoted, at 53 I could hardly be Monica's father, yet arranging multiple meetings with physical contacts is still a relationship of sort, or the beginning of one, in my book. I didn't agree with Monica's statement and said so politely. I also had concerns about COVID. There was no judgments on my part. Thanks for not interpreting my words further. I have the answers to my questions and will leave it there.
    "So, I'm a crossdresser. Mmh. What's that thing, again?"

    Considering telling your SO? Read this fine manual first: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner

  22. #97
    Member Stiletto Gurl's Avatar
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    FWIW, I think Friend #1 woke up sober, realized he had blabbed something his police officer son had told him not to discuss because he?d be in trouble. Then police officer son and dad get plan together to pacify you. How many other people has this officer told in your small community?

  23. #98
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
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    As many have said Monica, he really isn't a friend. The son was being unprofessional, but with family, that can happen many times unfortunately. However, your friend bringing it up while out was just sheer stupidity, and we know that you can't fix stupid. You know better now, and #1 isn't worth your time and just let him fade away

  24. #99
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Of course Monica?s last comment describing the night says: It was a good night. Sounds to me Monica had fun.

    Just a thought

    Sandi

  25. #100
    Junior Member stefaniec's Avatar
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    I've also had a run-in with the law while dressed up, but my encounter was much more short-lived and did not develop the intrigue your experience has!

    I got pulled over by a cop the very first night I went out dressed up. Basically I wasn't getting any responses to my craigslist post and was bored and feeling bold. So I decided to go out for a harmless drive. As they say, nothing good happens after midnight. That's when I realized I was by a public lake park, that I knew from another site to be a semi-discreet outdoor hookup area for guys. As I'm driving down the road towards it, I see a car pulling out of the parking lot onto the road and think nothing of it. Sure enough I pull in and bam, there's a police cruiser sitting there. He flashes his brights at me and I stop and roll my window down. I was like oh boy I am so screwed, as he shined his bright af flashlight right in my face. He paused for a minute and I couldn't see anything with that light right in my face, after what felt like a lifetime he was like "park's closed now" and I don't even remember what little noise I made when he handed me my ID back. Needless to say I got out of there in a hurry!

    But for your experience, I am never surprised when a guy is interested in a cd/ts. Having been on a few other sites and just from my interactions online back in the CL days, I know so many guys are into it they just wouldn't admit for the most part. But present them with the situation and they'll usually go for it.

    As for cops in general, I can somewhat empathize with them. I have a brother who does highway patrol, every few months I speak to him. It seems to be like a very stressful job and he doesn't get paid enough to deal with what he has. His only outlet is just trying to talk about what he sees on the job as a form of stress relief. However I will say just pulling over a cd for speeding isn't a stressful event and the officer doesn't really need to go telling anyone about it.

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